John J. Lemoncelli - Healing from Childhood Abuse: Understanding the Effects, Taking Control to Recover

To the Great Spirit
who is the true Healer

To my wife, Peggy
my best friend and soul mate

To all my patients
who have taught me so much

To you, the reader
that you may find consolation, hope, and healing

This book is written directly to the individual who has experienced the pain and suffering that result from abuse/trauma. Dr. Lemoncelli reaches out to the individual from his years of experience working with abuse/trauma in a deeply personal way that is undergirded by solid theory, research, and professional practice. The case examples contained in this book bring to life his proposed theory and treatment protocol designed to assist survivors to gain genuine insight into the effects of abuse/trauma. The case examples clearly demonstrate to the reader that they are not alone in their suffering, thereby reducing the isolation that is so common among the survivors of abuse/trauma.

This book is filled with empowering messages of and from survivors as well as the consistent themes of hope, resilience, and encouragement. However, Dr. Lemoncelli skillfully and compassionately identifies the fears and trepidations that one might experience as they journey to recover.

What especially impressed me about this book is that Dr. Lemoncelli takes on the role of a coach and confidant, constantly working to validate and normalize the feelings and emotions that typically result from abuse/trauma. He uses a significant amount of reframing to assist the individual to see strength where he or she saw weakness and to see resilience where once he or she saw chaos and confusion. He is able to take complex psychological issues and present them in a manner where they are readily understood by the surviving victims. The metaphor of the parasite and the parasite model are well grounded in both biology and psychology. The parasite model allows the individual to make a therapeutic distinction between the self and the abuse/trauma, and to come to believe that the abuse/trauma is only a part of the person, not all of the person. Dr. Lemoncelli outlines 14 stages to assist the individual in his or her recovery and yet encourages the survivor to use these stages only as a guide, rather than a recipe for recovery. He constantly reminds the individual to begin to trust the self because the keys to recovery lie inside of the individual despite what he or she and others have told the individual for years, perhaps a lifetime. As a competent professional, the author tells the reader he is making recommendations, not mandates.

While this book is written directly to the individual who suffered abuse/trauma, it is also indirectly written to the caring ones around the survivorcompanions, spouses, friends, and familyto provide them with a solid and dramatic appreciation of the effects of abuse/trauma. Dr. Lemoncelli does this in a manner to assist the caring ones, not to excuse or overlook the self-destructive behaviors of the survivor, but rather to understand the complexity of the effects of abuse/trauma. Equipped with a better understanding of the self-destructive behaviors, the caring ones will be able to directly assist the survivor in the survivors road to recovery. Lemoncelli constantly reminds the survivor that he or she is not responsible for the abuse/trauma with its resulting pain and suffering, but the survivor is responsible to heal the pain and suffering.

Finally, I believe this book is a great benefit, a must read for any clinician working with survivors of abuse/trauma. This book should serve as a text, or at least required reading, for courses designed to teach clinical trainees about the effects of childhood and adolescent abuse/trauma, and how to assist the survivors in their journey of recovering.

Robert S. Shaw, PsyD, ABPP

Director, Counseling/Student Development Center

Marywood University, Scranton, PA

Board Certified, Clinical Psychology

American Board of Professional Psychology

Throughout the course of my life, my father, Sam Pop, attempted to teach me many things. One thing he did instill in me is gratitude. One of my favorite quotes from my dad is:

A man comes into this world with many flaws
And leaves this world with even more flaws
One of those flaws need not be ingratitude.

There have been so many people who supported, guided, and encouraged me that it would be impossible to mention all of them individually. So, to those people who are not mentioned individually, especially my patients who had the courage to allow me to tell their story, know how grateful I am. My heartfelt gratitude goes to each and every one of you.

There are some people I need to recognize in a special way.

My daughter, Mauri, who pushed, prodded, supported, and was so honest.