Jo Usmar - This Book Will Make You Feel Beautiful

New York London

2015 by Dr Jessamy Hibberd and Jo Usmar

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by reviewers, who may quote brief passages in a review. Scanning, uploading, and electronic distribution of this book or the facilitation of the same without the permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the authors rights is appreciated.

Any member of educational institutions wishing to photocopy part or all of the work for classroom use or anthology should send inquiries to .

e-ISBN 978-1-62365-695-9

Distributed in the United States and Canada by
Hachette Book Group
1290 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10104

www.quercus.com

We live in ever-changing times and sometimes life can be tough. Were constantly being pulled in different directions and can struggle to cope with the pressure that were put under by external factors and, most importantly, by ourselves. With greater choice comes greater responsibility and occasionally this can be a breeding ground for insecurity, unhappiness and self-doubt. There are very few people (if any at all) who feel they operate perfectly in their work, relationships and life in general. Most of us could use some help now and then a nudge to show us how to improve our self-esteem, to change our approach to life and to feel more content. All too often we can feel we dont measure up, either to other people or to a mythical ideal we hold in our heads.

The This Book Will series aims to help you understand why you feel, think and behave the way you do and then gives you the tools to make positive changes. Were not fans of complicated medical jargon so weve tried to make everything accessible, relevant and entertaining as we know youll want to see improvements as soon as possible. We draw on our professional experience and the latest research, using anecdotes and examples which we found helpful and hope you will too. Titles are split into particular subjects such as happiness, body image, mindfulness and stress, so you can focus on the areas youd most like to address.

Our books are based on a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) framework. CBT is an incredibly successful treatment for a wide variety of issues and were convinced it will help you to cope with whatever youre facing.

Within all of our books youll regularly come across diagrams called mind maps. We use these to illustrate how your thoughts, behaviour, mood and body are all connected. Filling these in will break any problem down so it doesnt seem overwhelming, while laying out options for making changes.

There are strategies and checklists throughout, to guide you through the practical steps of improving your body image and self-confidence. Well make it easy for these changes to become part of your routine because reading the theory is only going to get you so far. The only way to start feeling beautiful is to put everything you learn into practice, changing how you feel about yourself and how you experience your day-to-day life.

You can choose to feel better and live life differently and this book will show you how.

Good luck! Let us know how you get on by contacting us on our website: www.jessamyandjo.com.

You may have heard the phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder before and dismissed it as a well-meaning platitude to perk up someone feeling a bit insecure about their appearance. Well, what if you were the beholder and the beauty in question was your own? In your own eyes, how do you measure up do you consider yourself beautiful? How about reasonably good looking? Or average? Or even OK?

Chances are your answers are along the lines of: Well, I might be if I lost X amount of weight/had a different nose/got rid of this scar/didnt have acne.

How you view yourself, how you see yourself physically, can affect your emotions, thoughts, behaviour and body. Needless to say, if your opinions are negative if you dont feel youre up to scratch or believe youre lacking physically in some way it can shape your whole world. Thats not an exaggeration. Feeling insecure in your appearance can inhibit what you do, say, think and the choices you make.

Unfortunately, more and more people (both men and women) are feeling dissatisfied with how they look. Recent research found that 90 per cent of British women experience body image anxiety, 50 per cent of girls who smoke do so to suppress their appetites and 69 per cent of men often wish they looked like someone else. These statistics should be shocking, but, sadly, theyre not. Chances are you picked up this book because you suffer from physical insecurities that affect your life or you know someone else who does. Which, in a way, is sort of good news. No, really, it is because it means youre not alone. Feeling low, insecure, angry, ashamed or embarrassed about how you look can be exceptionally lonely, but please be reassured that how you feel is a totally normal response to external and internal pressures. Youre not bad, wrong or weird for feeling the way you do. Knowing other people are going through the same thing wont inspire any high-fives or merry jigs, but it should puncture the loneliness a bit.

Most of the views we hold about our appearance are unfair, unrealistic and unhelpful, but weve become so attached to them we consider them absolute truths. We are too ugly, fat, thin, scrawny, big, tall, short, hairy, bald or gangly. We dismiss anything that points to the contrary and only ever focus on totally nonsensical evidence that backs up our views (Shes staring at the huge gap in my teeth, I didnt get the job because I dont look the part).

This brings us to the second bit of good news: there are loads of ways to combat these negative impressions and to create a much healthier and realistic view of yourself. By challenging these thoughts, changing your behaviour and actively pursuing a healthier body image youll feel more confident, self-assured and happier with how you look and life in general. Which is where this book comes in.

If you want straightforward advice on how to feel happier and more confident in your appearance, then this is the book for you. Theres no airy-fairy gibberish or whimsical fancy, just practical strategies that are proven to work, explained in a simple and, hopefully, fairly entertaining way, with relatable real life examples.

It can be alarmingly easy to accept body image anxiety as a permanent fixture in your life, but thats an awful plan. Believing youre not attractive enough or that you have an inescapable physical flaw can be hugely debilitating because your body is with you forever you cant swap it or shape-shift like an alien. Everyone suffers from insecurities about their appearance sometimes everyone. Yes, even that supermodel living next door. Having occasional worries is totally natural its when those thoughts start to dictate your decisions that something needs to change. Learning to accept and, yes, even appreciate the body youve got will do wonders for your self-esteem and your confidence in other areas of your life too.