James Dobson - 38 Values to Live by

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Values to
Live By Dr. James Dobson 38 VALUES TO LIVE BY 2001 James Dobson. All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. All text originally appeared in Life on the Edge by James Dobson 1995 by James Dobson. Word Publishing.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations used in this book are from the King James Version of the Bible. ISBN: 0-8499-1663-1 Printed in the United States of America 01 02 03 04 05 wor 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Contents W hat drives our decisions in life? As individuals, we may be influenced by our families, our friends, or our environment, but the basis for the decisions we make can be reduced to one basic component: values. Whether they be lofty or lowly, noble or despicable, personal values are at the core of how we live. In the pages that follow, I share thirty-eight principles that are the building blocks for a Christ-centered, abundant life. Through decades of counseling others and through my own experiences, I have seen these truths yield lifelong stability and spiritual prosperity. What is it you seek? A deep and satisfying marriage? Meaningful friendships? Abiding faith? Learn these most basic values.

Write them on your heart. Live by them. Your life will be richer for it. S eek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). This is the fundamental principle of life on which all others rest. T hroughout life,
it will be
important to
find the safety
of the middle ground
rather than the
imbalance of
the extremes. T hroughout life,
it will be
important to
find the safety
of the middle ground
rather than the
imbalance of
the extremes.

T his is the way to be successful in life: Treat every person as you want to be treated; look for ways to meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of those around you. Suppress your desire to be selfish and to seek unfair advantage over others. Try to turn every encounter with another person into a new or stronger friendship. Then, when this confidence with people is combined with hard work, your future success is assured. As a general rule,
dont risk what
you cant afford
to lose. T he overwhelming
feeling of being
in
love
is not a very
reliable emotion
during the
early yearsor
at any age! This intense
affection can
evaporate in a
matter of days,
leaving the
person confused
(and perhaps
unhappily married).

T he only way to
know you are in love
with another
person is to give
yourself plenty of time
to get acquainted. Once the decision
is made to marry,
your commitment to
one another will be much
more important than
your feelings, which are
certain to come and go. Feelings are
neither right
nor wrong. Its
what you do
with them that
causes the
problems. T he universe and everything in
it will someday be made new by the Creator. Therefore, the events
of today that
seem so important
are not really
very significant,
except those matters that
will survive the end of the universe.

I f youre going through difficult times, hold steady. It will change soon. If youre experiencing smooth sailing and easy times now, brace yourself. It will change soon. The only thing you can be certain of is change. W henever two human beings spend time together, sooner or later they will probably irritate one another.

This is true of best friends, married couples, parents and children, or teachers and students. The question is: How do they respond when friction occurs?
There are four basic ways they can react: 1 They can internalize anger
and send it downward into a
memory bank that never forgets.
This creates great pressure within
and can even result in disease
and other problems. 2 They can pout and be rude without
discussing the issues. This further
irritates the other person and leaves him
or her to draw his or her own conclusions
about what the problem may be. 3 They can blow up and try to hurt
the other person. 4 Or, they can talk to one another about
their feelings, being very careful not to
attack the dignity and worth of the other
person. 4 Or, they can talk to one another about
their feelings, being very careful not to
attack the dignity and worth of the other
person.

This approach often leads to
permanent and healthy relationships. M ost loneliness results
from insulation rather
than isolation. In other
words,
we are lonely
because we insulate
ourselves, not
because others
isolate us. I t is
better to be
single and
unhappy than
unhappily
married. Y our life is before you. Be careful of the choices you make now that you could regret later.

This regret is the subject of an old poem whose author has been forgotten. I hope youll never have reason to apply it to yourself. A cross the fields of yesterday,