Judy Carter - The Message of You: Turn Your Life Story into a Money-Making Speaking Career

The author and publisher have provided this e-book to you for your personal use only. You may not make this e-book publicly available in any way. Copyright infringement is against the law. If you believe the copy of this e-book you are reading infringes on the authors copyright, please notify the publisher at:

us.macmillanusa.com/piracy.

To my sister, Marsha Carter, who, in spite of not being able to speak, was a great communicator

CONTENTS

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Much gratitude goes out to all the speakers, meeting planners, and speaker agents who shared their expertise for this book. Special thanks to speaker agents Jonathan Wygant of BigSpeak, Inc., Brian Lord of Premiere Speakers Bureau, Kelly MacDonald-Hill of Speakers Spotlight, Mike Frick of Speaking.com, and Shawn Ellis of The Speakers Group.

Thank you to my speaker buddies at the National Speakers Association who were interviewed for this book, especially Patricia Fripp, whose generosity of spirit shines in everything she does.

Special gratitude to speaker and friend Mimi Donaldson, for contributing all your hard-earned wisdom to this book and my life.

Thank you to the talented Dawn Williams for the nights you stayed up transcribing my sometimes incoherent ramblings as well as making me laugh.

Much gratitude to everyone at Manus Literary and my agent, Penny Nelson, whose talents as a writer, editor, and negotiator made it possible for this book to be in my readers hands.

Thank you, Daniela Rapp, for your insightful advice, as well as seeing the possibility of this book and making it happen. And thank you, Chuck Adams, for discovering me and seeing that a girl who got a D in high school writing could become an author.

Much appreciation to my partner in life, Gina Rubinstein, who talks me off the ledge and protects me from my evil thoughts.

To all my students who fought off fear, dug deep, and got their message outyou inspire me with your courage.

And finally, this book could not have been written without the ber talented SJ Hodges. I cant thank you enough for your contribution to this book. You were my strict cheerleader every step of the way, asking the right questions, editing what I wrote, and midwifing this book at the same time you were having your own baby. Cecilia, Clayton, and you are a glorious message of love.

INTRODUCTION

This book started off as a traditional speakers book. You know the kindhow to stand and project your voice, how to memorize a speech, what to do with those nervous hands of yours. But in the process of writing this book and working with my students to fine-tune the exercises, it became something biggerless about the speaking industry and more about defining the Core Promise of a speech and, even greater, how to find The Message of You.

My Speaking Workshop was formed of an eclectic group of mothers, stand-up comics, nurses, lawyers, and business owners. There were thirty students in all and they plunged in, headfirst, to uncover their Message.

On showcase night I sat and watched as, one by one, each student courageously stood up and told his or her individual truth. Their messages, the Messages of Them, were a powerful wake-up call for the audience. They were inspired to respect themselves; to take responsibility for their actions and lives; to believe in themselves; to find courage. They were taught how to get rid of clutter, lighten up, and find their own style. And they were entertained immensely, from laughter to tears.

But that showcase night didnt just shake the earth underneath the audience; it also rattled the souls of the students. One of them, Naomi Lopez, the mother of a child with behavioral issues, had never spoken in front of people before. Her Message was about her journey with her child, From Burden to Blessing. She might not have been a professional speaker, but when she told her Heart Story there wasnt a dry eye in the house. Afterward, she wrote to me:

I am proof that anyone can do this. I want to spread the message that we parents are not alone. I went from a person who never performed or wanted to be in the spotlight, to a person with a message I want to share with whoever will listen to me. Sometimes God has dreams for us that are bigger then we can dream for [ourselves]. This class has been life changing. Thank You.

Within a few days, Naomi booked her first speaking engagement.

Wow. That was my first indication of the life-transforming power of The Message of You. I became even more excited as other students wrote to me of the changes in their lives. Then my own Message shifted. It happened on my birthdaya very special one, because it marked the date that I became older than my mother was when she died early in my life. Living longer than her made me aware of how finite existence is, and how I was now in a bonus round that I didnt want to screw up like I had so many other stages of my life. I felt optimistic since I had fallen in love and gotten married a few years before. The security of finally finding a loving life partner freed me emotionally to give more to others. I recommitted my remaining years to making a difference in other peoples lives.

I volunteered to give my speech Laughing Your Way Out of Stress for the newly wounded soldiers in the spinal injury unit at the VA hospital in Long Beach, California. My student Judy Oliverio is a nurse there and she told me, The place is so depressing for both the patients and the staff. We all need to be inspired and to laugh. I felt honored to have the chance to speak to these heroes.

Driving to the gig, I panicked. It occurred to me that saying Hey, just laugh it off! to a twenty-two-year-old who had just learned he will never walk again might be a bit insensitive. My Message didnt fit and I didnt have another. There was no backup plan. These people were already in pain. I didnt want to make their lives more miserable by literally adding insult to injury.

When I got to the hospital, I saw they had decorated a large multipurpose room with the banner Laughter is the Best Medicine with Judy Carter. The colorful party balloons strung throughout underscored the bleak mood. On one side of the room, people were sitting in chairs and staring blankly at the floor, looking depressed and tiredand that was the staff. On the other side of the large room, looking like members of a rival gang, were spinal cord injury patients, many of whom were attached to ventilators. They were mostly young men. There were also some burn victims, wrapped from head to toe in yellow Lady Gagalike gowns.

I was introduced to Nick Mendes, a soldier who was paralyzed from the neck down in an IED explosion in Afghanistan. He whispered Hi as the machines pushed air in and out of his lungs. His father, Dave Mendes, who had moved into the hospital to be near his son, took me aside and said, Im glad youre here because Nick has stopped doing his physical therapy. Hes falling into a depression. The nurses tell me that if he doesnt do his therapy, he could die. Nick was twenty-two years old.

My speech seemed more and more pathetic and anemic to me. My mind was scrambling to come up with an approach, a great joke, or a story, that would make them feel that I understood, but nothing came to mind. I was out of my league. How could I ever, ever understand their pain? What could I possible say to alleviate their fear? Hey, lighten up! wasnt going to cut it.

The VP of HR got up and read my introduction. It was too late to leave. I had to go on.