Helen Thorne - Walking with Domestic Abuse Sufferers

Many of us are unaware of the enormous volume of people experiencing domestic abuse globally. This book is a hugely educational and enlightening explanation of such atrocities, which, without our awareness, could be happening in our very churches and neighbourhoods. It offers sound teaching for the professional counsellor as well as the untrained, enabling us to act wisely and decisively, helping and supporting such victims. A must for every church!

Fiona Castle, author and speaker

A powerful and accessible introduction to this disturbing subject. A necessary and thoroughly biblical part of any pastors toolkit.

Graham Miller, Chief Servant, London City Mission

Given that most of us have no idea how common domestic abuse is, nor how deeply it affects our relationships with God and other people, this book needs to be read twice, with some urgency, in every church. Read once, it will open our eyes to the scale of the problem which many in our churches are facing right now. Read a second time, it will help us to make concrete plans to take actions that honour God and bring hope and help to those who suffer acutely. Our churches, and victims within them, will find the plain-speaking text and the excellent bulleted lists to be Gods wisdom. A truly brilliant book.

Dr Andrew Nicholls, Pastor of Dundonald Church and Deputy Director of Biblical Counselling UK

Concise yet comprehensive, empathic but empowering, practical and prayerful this small volume will be a big help to those suffering from domestic abuse as well as those supporting them.

Dr Trevor Stammers, Reader in Bioethics, St Marys University, London, and author of Love Lies Bleeding: When Intimacy Turns to Abuse

This book manages to cram in so much: compassion, experience, biblical wisdom and hope. Helen will lead you into new skills. Even more, she will introduce you to oppressed women, and you will love them more deeply. This is a book that is wise and practical without being formulaic. As a pastoral counsellor, I think about these matters almost every week, but this resource has already helped me as Ive walked with domestic abuse sufferers.

Dr Edward T. Welch, counsellor and faculty member, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, Glenside, Pennsylvania

INTER-VARSITY PRESS

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Helen Thorne, 2018

Helen Thorne has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as Author of this work.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher or the Copyright Licensing Agency.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version (Anglicized edition). Copyright 1979, 1984, 2011 by Biblica (formerly International Bible Society). Used by permission of Hodder & Stoughton Publishers, an Hachette UK company. All rights reserved. NIV is a registered trademark of Biblica (formerly International Bible Society). UK trademark number 1448790.

The lyrics on pp. 7374 are from If I Have Fled to Jesus. Copyright 2015 Michael Morrow. Used by permission.

British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN: 9781783595952

eBook ISBN: 9781783595969

Set in 12/15pt Chaparral

Typeset in Great Britain by CRB Associates, Potterhanworth, Lincolnshire

Printed in Great Britain by Ashford Colour Press Ltd, Gosport, Hampshire

eBook by CRB Associates, Potterhanworth, Lincolnshire

Inter-Varsity Press publishes Christian books that are true to the Bible and that communicate the gospel, develop discipleship and strengthen the church for its mission in the world.

IVP originated within the Inter-Varsity Fellowship, now the Universities and Colleges Christian Fellowship, a student movement connecting Christian Unions in universities and colleges throughout Great Britain, and a member movement of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students. Website: www.uccf.org.uk . That historic association is maintained, and all senior IVP staff and committee members subscribe to the UCCF Basis of Faith.

Sometimes its hard to know where to start.

Faced with a difficult pastoral problem, perhaps something weve never encountered before, we easily feel out of our depth. It can be tempting to retreat, avoid or delay, but when we sidestep a problem, it often becomes much, much worse.

This series of books provides gospel hope for some of the many life issues people face. They arent intended to be definitive or comprehensive guides. They are primers enough to help us know where to begin. We dont need to know everything about an issue before we can find our way forward; we just need a sense of the landscape. And once we have taken the first few steps, the way ahead usually begins to become clearer.

When Jesus saw the crowds, they seemed to him to be harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd, and he had compassion on them. In Marks Gospel we are told that he therefore began to teach them (Mark 6:34). In Matthews Gospel, he urges prayer that the Lord of the harvest might send out workers into his harvest field (Matthew 9:3638). You may have picked up this book because you know someone who is feeling harassed or helpless. You may be a pastor or a small-group leader seeking a little help in shepherding your sheep. You share, with Jesus, a sense of compassion for those who are struggling. You see people in need and you want to do something.

Its one thing to offer practical help we are all for that but the spiritual help Christ offers us in the gospel is always what we need most. This series of books aims to help equip Christs people to be people of compassion. People who are wise as they bring the riches of the Scripture to bear upon the realities of life. Thats the heartbeat of the biblical counselling movement, and its at the heart of all that Biblical Counselling UK is seeking to do. Our prayer is that this series of books will help you as you seek to comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (2 Corinthians 1:4).

The Revd Dr Steve Midgley

Executive Director

Biblical Counselling UK

I am enormously grateful to the many men and women who have had the courage to share their stories of abuse with me, and allowed me the privilege of sharing their stories with you. The work that God has done in and through them over the years has been an honour to see, and the manner in which they persevere each day is an inspiring reminder of the hope the gospel brings.

I am similarly grateful to my colleagues at Biblical Counselling UK, Dundonald Church, Raynes Park and the London City Mission, without whose love, prayers and wise words this book would not have been written. Friends, social workers and police officers your partnership in the gospel has been a delight as well!

Finally, thanks must go to the wonderful team at IVP, whose gentle motivation and careful editing have been a constant source of encouragement.

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Designed by Ninefootone Creative. Copyright Helen Thorne.

Designed by Ninefootone Creative. Copyright Helen Thorne.

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Justin S. Holcomb and Lindsey A. Holcomb, Is It My Fault? Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence (Moody Press, 2014)