Marina L. Reed - Remember, Its OK: Loss for Teens

Remember, Its OK

Loss for Teens

Remember, Its OK

Loss for Teens

MARINA L. REED
MARIAN GRACE BOYD

Remember, Its OK: Loss for Teens

Copyright 2020 by Marina L. Reed and Marian Grace Boyd

ISBN: 978-1-989517-24-6

All rights reserved.

Editor: Allister Thompson

Book Designer: Jamie Arts

Published in Stratford, Canada, by Next Chapter Press, an imprint of Blue Moon Publishers.

Printed and bound in Canada.

The authors are gratified that you chose this book to be with you during your grief. Please consider leaving a review wherever you bought the book, or tell others about Remember, Its OK: Loss for Teens. We can all help and support each other in the grief journey.

Remember, Its OK: Loss for Teens. Copyright 2020 by Marina L. Reed and Marian Grace Boyd. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Blue Moon Publishers. Thank you for respecting the hard work of the author.

Table of Contents

OTHER BOOKS IN THE REMEMBER, ITS OK SERIES

Loss of a Partner

Loss of a Parent

OTHER NEXT CHAPTER PRESS BOOKS ABOUT GRIEF AND LOSS

THE WISH I KNEW GRIEF COLLECTION

Conscious Grief & Loss Guide

Conscious Grief & Loss Guide Workbook

Gentle Quotes on Grief & Loss

Grief & Loss Guided Journal

Dedicated to Pat, who took his teenage life.

FOREWORD

My Dear Reader and Fellow Warrior,

As I sit here typing out this foreword, I cant help but feel how this is a such a fitting cosmic array of events in which I get to commemorate my own journey as I see you off on yours.

What a beautiful opportunity to honour my own loss and struggle.

This book, Remember Its OK: Loss for Teens, reflects the journey of my life, and I believe it will also reflect your own journey and that you may find yourself represented within these pages. This leads me to one of my biggest realizations: we are all connected by loss. And we still struggle to be understood and find a voice for our pain. Marina and Marian know that. And they did something about it. You will find your voice in these pages. Huge gratitude to them for this work.

Growing up without my father was a daily struggle, and in many ways, it still is. I think of him often, and missing him never takes a time out. When I was a teenager, I really struggled with the pain that I was carrying around. This translated into skipping school and experimenting with drugs and alcohol as a means of escape from the pain. It was hard for me to connect with people because they just couldnt understand such an event that changed the entire direction of my life. My loss expressed itself over and over: walking through my neighbourhood and seeing dads pick their daughters up from school; dads playing with their kids at the park; seeing my friends dads helping them move into their new apartment, or help them paint and renovate their new business space, etc. Almost every day, I found myself wondering who might I be if I had that kind of help and support in my life.

My friends, this is no easy journey, I wont lie to you. Losing someone you love, whether that is a parent, a relative, a grandparent, a sibling, or a dear friend, is truly a loss that is forever. The pain doesnt magically disappear. You will often feel completely alone and as though no one understands what you have to deal with and will continue to deal with. But what you have now that I did not is this wonderful book. The authors understand how grief circles around us. We move in and around the colours of healing as they show in their book. It can be a comfort to you for a long time.

This book can be your support, your best friend, your voice of reason and understanding when the world around you seems terribly out of touch, oblivious, chaotic, and simply unrelatable. This book will make you feel understood and that you are a part of a community that is so much bigger than you or I as individuals. I survived and went on to create a path into education where I now help and teach young people. It was no easy task. And now I watch as other young people struggle and suffer with loss. I am so glad I can hand them this book. I believe it will accelerate their healing and allow them to know they are not alone. Help them understand themselves, teach them to think with courage and empowerment, learn to be strong and brave, allow them to feel their pain in safety. It will also help parents know how to help their child and how educators can truly be there for their students. We all need to learn how to embrace grief, for ourselves, and for each other. Grief knows no timeline, and we need to learn to support each other for as long as it takes. Remember, Its OK teaches us how to do that.

We are warriors. We make a choice, every single day, to get up and fight through the tears, the loss, the isolation, and the pain. We choose to honour the gift that loved ones we have lost gave us; we choose to live. We are infinitely stronger when we come together, share our struggles, and help one another carry them. That is what you have in your hands in this book: a community, voices sharing their pain, and guidance to bring you home.

There is incredible power in connecting and sharing our stories so that we may feel understood by others who carry the same weight. This book is now your community of support. Please understand that my support for you knows no bounds, whether we ever meet or not.

I hear you, I see you, I know your pain, and I will always be rooting for you, as are Marina and Marian.

I wish you nothing but love and light on your journey, and never, ever, ever forget that you are not alone.

With great love,

Brittany E. Wiessler

Surviving Teen

Honours B.A. Drama in Education, Psychology

B. Ed. Drama/Social Sciences

REMEMBER, ITS OK: LOSS FOR TEENS

This book is written for teens, and teens have helped and guided us the whole way. Inside these pages are moments you will identify with and suggestions that will help you on this very painful journey through grief. Your grief. Your voice. This book can be your safety net, your comfort, your help. No secrets here. We will support you; remember, its OK. Well show you how.

Youre not alone. Let us help you begin. Let us help you find yourself. Let us help you heal.

For parents and educators who want to help, in these pages, teens will tell you what they want and need, feel, and experience. Remember, its OK.

ABOUT THIS BOOK.

Remember, Its Ok is an experiential book. You will live this book, not just read it.

Remember, Its OK is a series of books dealing with specific types of losses.

Whether you have lost a parent, a friend, a grandparent, or anyone you loved, we can help you. You are not alone.

We also want to mention that grief does not know religion or race or gender identification. We invite everyone to heal.

Grief is not a linear process. The stages of grief were initially designed by Kbler-Ross to support palliative patients. It was never designed for people who have experienced loss. Rather than moving from one stage to another, grief is a journey that cycles back and forth, in and out, as you find your way. Please use this book to support how you feel, regardless of how much time has passed between now and when you experienced your loss. Explore the different colour sections and use the Moments that work for you. Go from colour to colour as you see fit, what works for you each day. You may find that you read all of Red two or three times, and even come back to it when you are at the end of the book, and thats OK. It is your journey.