Karen Jensen Salisbury - I Forgive You, But...: 3 Steps That Can Heal Your Heart Forever

Karen Jensen Salisbury

Tulsa, OK

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations marked AMPC are from the Amplified Bible (AMPC), Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Permanent Text Edition (2016). Copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked GNT are from the Good News Translation in Todays English Version, Second Edition Copyright 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are from The Message. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are from the New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are from The Living Bible, copyright 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc.

I Forgive You, But...

Copyright 2017 by Karen Jensen Salisbury

ISBN: 978-168031-131-0

ISBN: 978-168031-163-1 (ebook)

Published by Harrison House Publishers

Tulsa, OK 74145

www.harrisonhouse.com

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Scriptures used in each chapter

You might have picked up this book because the title applies to your life. You might have someone in mind and youre saying, I forgive you, but....

Maybe youve tried to forgive, but you just couldnt.

Maybe you thought you forgave, but what happened just keeps coming back, and it feels so raw and painful, you wonder if youve failed in the forgiveness department.

Maybe you know you should forgive, but youre just plain mad, and you dont want to forgive.

Or maybe youve forgiven the same person again and again, and you dont want to do it anymore.

Here are just a few of the things Ive heard (or even felt) that complete the sentence, I forgive you, but...

• you dont deserve it.
• I wont forget!
• I want you to be sorry.
• I still hate you.
• I dont want you to get away with it.
• I want you to admit you were wrong.
• I want you to understand the pain youve caused.
• someone has to pay.
• I want you to know how much you hurt me.
• I dont want you to be blessed.
• its hard.

If any of those thoughts are your thoughts (or some variation thereof), then this book is for you. Were going to look at those thoughts and feelings, and see what God has to say about them. Because at the end of the day, what God wants for you is freedom and peace and blessing, and forgiveness is the way to get you there.

At the end of the day, what God wants for you is freedom and peace.

You know you should forgive, right? You may have even given it your best shot. Maybe youve given it lip service and said, Yeah, yeah, I forgive them, but deep inside youre not buying it. Youve tried and yet failed to forgive. Every time that persons name (or that situation) comes up, the vein stands out in your neck, or the pain punches you in the stomach. Thoughts of what happened still swirl in your head in the wee hours of the night, making you toss and turn in your bed and lose sleep.

Maybe you still get that rot gut feeling every time something reminds you. Or maybe youre just holding onto unforgiveness on purpose to teach them a lesson.

You may have taken a shot at forgiveness, but you know youre not totally free.

Most of us Christians know that were supposed to forgive, right? We know from the Bible and years of sermons that were not supposed to hold a grudge.

Lets say, for example, that someone has done you wrong, and youre very upset about it. Youve told a few friends, and if the name of the person comes up in conversation, you get that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. But if I were to ask you, Are you harboring unforgiveness against that person? your good Christian answer would be, Oh no, I forgive them because you know youre supposed to say that.

Ive learned over the years not to ask that question anymore because I always get that same answer when its plain to see that its still very much an issue. People just dont know that theyre still holding a grudge (and therefore theyre not free from it).

So let me ask it this way: Have you been hurt?

I think we can all answer yes! to that question. I think anyone whos been alive longer than about 15 minutes has been hurt. Sadly, its part of life in this world.

First, let me say Im so sorry. I know your pain is real. You may think, No one understands what Ive gone through (and thats true) and How can I forgive the horrible things Ive endured, the wounds and scars I wear every day?

I havent walked in your shoes, and I dont know exactly what has happened to you. But I have walked through some painful things, and Ive walked through some painful things with other people.

Maybe your hurt came when someone wounded you in terrible ways, even tried to destroy you. Maybe you counted on someone and they let you down horribly, or you were stunned when someone you trusted just totally betrayed you. Maybe it was even a Christian, who shouldve known better! Maybe someone stole from you or was just plain rotten to you.

You may have suffered with unforgiveness for a long time. Maybe something happened to you long ago and, in spite of your efforts to forgive, you havent been able to let it go all the way. Or maybe its something recent, but the hurt goes so deep, you cant see your way to forgive. These are all very real, very painful realities.

In todays world, it seems there are a lot of good reasons to harbor a grudge. Its also a very socially acceptable concept to retaliate against those who have hurt usrevenge is a very popular theme for movies, books, TV, and news. But revenge is not Gods way. His wishand mine toois freedom from the hurt, so you can have peace in your heart and mind. We want you to have freedom to move past the pain, and forgiveness is the way to get there.

Gods wish for you is freedom from the hurt, so you can have peace.

I want you to discover what I have about the power of forgiveness. Too many are walking around wounded or angry or even sick from the hurts of the past while God has the answer. It might not seem like it, but the answer is forgiveness. Ive seen