Connie Wetzell - The YOU Plan: A Christian Womans Guide for a Happy, Healthy Life After Divorce

PRAISE FOR THE YOU PLAN

The shame and pain of divorce is so great that women are tempted to make desperate and destructive decisions that can greatly compound the pain of divorce. Thus, every divorced woman needs a plan. This is the plan you need. Michelle and Connie provide an effective plan to help you heal and get your life back, but even better.

STEVE ARTERBURN, FOUNDER, NEWLIFE

MINISTRIES AND WOMEN OF FAITH; AUTHOR,

THE 7-MINUTE MARRIAGE SOULTION

The YOU Plan is a detailed roadmap for women navigating the personal and circumstantial landmines of an unexpected divorce. Lost and scared, you face the unknown with feelings of rejection, fear, guilt, shame, and unworth. At this vulnerable time, you need other women who have walked this path and successfully come out the other end. Michelle and Connie provide just that roadmap, openly sharing their journeys and tackling the tough but crucial lessons theyve learned along the way. If youre stuck and scared, but are ready to move forward, The YOU Plan will help you heal--one step at a time.

LESLIE VERNICK, COUNSELOR,

COACH, AUTHOR, AND SPEAKER

In a world where living authentically is overlooked and undervalued, Michelle and Connie provide a roadmap to help women heal and move forward. Through their authentic and transparent writing women will feel like they are not alone. Michelle and Connie encourage women to feel empowered and hopeful by addressing key struggles that they go through after divorce. There is no elephant in the room with this book. It is refreshing, encouraging, and authentic.

SHARON K.B. DALE, LPC MHSP,

CO-AUTHOR, DIVORCE TO WHOLENESS

2013 by Michelle Toholsky Borquez a/k/a Michelle Borquez and Constance Marie Wetzell a/k/a Connie Wetzell

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Unless otherwise cited, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Borquez, Michelle.

The YOU plan : a Christian womans guide for a happy, healthy life after divorce / Michelle Borquez and Connie Wetzell.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-4002-0551-6 (alk. paper)

ISBN 978-1-4002-0552-3 (eBook)

1. Divorced women--Religious life. 2. Christian women--Religious life. I. Title.

BV4596.D58B67 2014

248.8433--dc23

2013025272

Printed in the United States of America

13 14 15 16 17 RRD 6 5 4 3 2 1

From Michelle:

To women who are hurting from the aftermath of divorce, women whose hope has been shattered and whose light has dimmed. My prayer is you not only receive healing from what Connie and I have shared, but you are given renewed vision for your life.

You are valuable. You are accepted. You have purpose. May the Lord give you strength as you walk out the process of wholeness in your life.

From Connie:

I would like to dedicate this book to all the dear souls who have had their hearts broken and dreams demolished from the devastation of divorce. Even though you will never forget this significant chapter of your lifes journey, one of my deepest desires is for you to develop new dreams, for you to heal and move forward in the full intent and purpose that God has for you with joy. May YOU press on!

CONTENTS

by Dr. Tim Clinton

M alachi records this declaration from God:... I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel (Malachi 2:16 NASB).

Since His creation of the first man and woman in the garden, Gods design was for one man to be married to one woman for one lifetime. Married in a relationship that was covenanted with Him, and committed to each other till death do we part.

But we live in a broken world. And divorce happens.

Many reading this right now didnt even have a say in what happened. But the pain is real and the road to new life isnt easy.

As the president of the nearly 50,000 member American Association of Christian Counselors, and the executive director of the Center for Counseling and Family Studies at Liberty University, I have come to a heartbreaking conclusionthere is no such thing as an easy divorce.

Emotions are bruised.

Hearts are shattered.

Love is crushed.

Children get hurt and confused.

Families are torn.

But... you can get through this.

Tragically, in my experience, I have found that a lot of women never truly heal from the trauma of divorce. They too often selfmedicate, and even run to a new relationship, simply to try to forget the betrayal, anger, pain, unforgiveness, and fear that consumes them every waking moment.

A friend who had experienced a difficult divorce said to me, I want to get my bounce back. To which I replied, You willbut only after you have healeddont short circuit the journey!

And healing is a journey. A journey that requires a plan.

In The YOU Plan, Michelle and Connie not only explain that journey, they offer to walk through it with you. The way in which they portray their own mistakes, highlighting real life experiences and pointing out their own sometimes off-road journey, will help you avoid the pitfalls that could potentially lead to more heartache and chaos, and further delay your healing. Every chapter has a checklist of thoughts, a plan of action, and a prayer of reflection.

While it is true that God hates divorce, it is also true that neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:39 ESV).

Not only does God love you with an everlasting loveHe still has a plan for your lifeand He