Ilene S. Cohen Ph.D - Its Within You: A Detailed Road Map to Igniting, Deeper Self-Worth, Richer Relationships, and Greater Personal Freedom

PRAISE FOR ITS WITHIN YOU

Many of our challenges are rooted in the way we value ourselves. Does your worthiness come from within you or without you? In Its Within You Rabbi Aryeh Weinstein and Dr. Ilene S. Cohen present a clear and comprehensive approach on how to live your life inside out instead of outside in. A superb contribution, with the power to enhance and transform the lives of its readers.

SIMON JACOBSON, Author of Toward a Meaningful Life

In a world lacking confidence in personal life skills and a deficient moral compass, the authors have compiled a wisdom-laden, and confidently prescriptive manual that provides direction and content to our lives, skillfully embracing spiritual authenticity and professional experience. Highly recommended reading.

RABBI DR. LAIBL WOLF, Author of best-selling Practical Kabbalah and Internationally-acclaimed Lecturer

When I saw that, Its Within You was co-written by a Rabbi, I assumed it would be too religious for my taste, but I was pleasantly surprised to be completely wrong! I consider myself to be a relatively confident person and wasnt expecting to read anything that I didnt already know but the humble yet provoking nature of this book not only opened my eyes to new perspectives but challenged me to dig even deeper and fine tune my worthiness muscle. Its encouraged me to see the areas of my life where I feel frustrated and fed up with others, and taught me tools to change my approach. Ill be using some of these stories and strategies with my own clients!

JASMIN TERRANY, LMHC, Psychotherapist, Author & Speaker, www.JasminTerrany.com

Its Within You will allow any person who values self-discovery and growth, to take an in-depth look into the power of their own influence on their life. Along with the end of chapter activities, this book allows you to put into practice the concepts that you read. I would definitely recommend this book to my clients, family, and friends. Kudos authors!

EDRICA D. RICHARDSON, PHD., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, www.dredrich.com

Its Within You is the intersection of psychotherapy, religion, and spirituality that examines the concept of self-worth and how people can enhance their solid self in a world where we all wear masks. Asking simple but profound questions, using both their personal and professional experiences, the authors guide readers to a deeper understanding of self and others. The book offers a challenge for the reader to consider: Do you have the courage to look inward and change? It reads like a meditation on intentional living. I recommend it to anyone who wants to be more at home in their life.

JIM RUDES, PH.D., LMFT, LCSW Associate Professor, Barry University

By providing practical examples and activities based off ancient wisdom, Dr. Ilene and Rabbi Weinstein open up a whole new window into the source of true happiness. Its Within You, is a transformative guide that has helped me find my own innerworthiness and create happiness from within myself! The tools provided in this book are necessary for anyone looking to make real change in their life. Highly recommend.

CORINNE DEBACHER, Journalism Teacher at Nova HighSchool

I loved it, connected with it, and believe, Its Within You, is very impactful and meaningful. I love the way Judaism is woven into the book in a way that makes it feel spiritual and not religious, the way real-life examples helped you connect more with the purpose of the book, and the exercises and nuggets that closed the chapters. Happy to have spent my weekend with this masterpiece!

MICHELLE DEMPSEY, Author of Very Well-Written

No matter who you are or what youre living through, Its Within You has something valuable to offer. With their fresh perspective on timeless wisdom, Cohen and Weinstein have created an informal guide to daily living as practical as it is profound.

DR. DENISE FOURNIER, Evergreen Therapy

An informative guide for those who want to be accountable and create self-driven change in their lives and relationships. Its Within You offers helpful illustrations, exercises, and metaphors to stimulate critical thinking, in order to be less reactive and more mature in all relationships.

OLIVIA SCHLAPFER COLMER, PH.D., LMFT

Its Within You:

A Detailed Road Map to Igniting Deeper Self-Worth

Richer Relationships and Greater Personal Freedom

by Rabbi Aryeh Weinstein and Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D.

2019 Rabbi Aryeh Weinstein and Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D.

Published by Harte & Co Publishing, Miami FL

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Editor: Denise Fournier

Book design: Book Savvy Studio

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019903122

ISBN: 978-0-9993115-1-6

First Edition

Printed in the United States of America

DEDICATION

To my wife, Rosie, whose unconditional acceptance has revealed so much I never knew was there.

To my children, Uziel, Raizel, Esther, Hinda, Nachman, Chana, Menucha Rochel, Menachem Mendel, and Shayna.

My eyes wash over with tears of joy when I think of you.

Please know that wherever you may be, I am with you.

RABBI ARYEH WEINSTEIN

To my amazing, tenacious, and loving daughters, Emily and Elizabeth, I hope that through my unconditional love, you will always see yourselves as I see you. Please never doubt your worth, and know that you are forever loved.

ILENE S. COHEN

CONTENTS

Birth is G-d saying you matter.

SIMON JACOBSON

PREFACE

When the soul is starved for nourishment, it lets us know with feelings of emptiness, anxiety, or yearning.

THE REBBE

Y OUVE GOT TO GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER! How many times have you heard these words, or said them to yourself when feeling frustrated? Maybe it was said to you, or maybe youve yelled it to someone you love. Perhaps your parents said it to you in a moment of anger. Or maybe, in your anxiety about one of your own childrens inability to launch into adulthood, youve said it or thought it on what feels like a million occasions.

Its possible you bought this book with the intention of giving it to someone who should probably get their act together. If thats the case, were sure youre coming from a place of real caring; the problem, however, is that when were so focused on others, we can end up with a major blind spot that doesnt let us see the changes we need to make within ourselves. Most of us think that if only the people in our lives would change, wed be able to move happily forward with our lives. Its easier to think that if we can get people to changeor avoid certain difficult people altogetherwell be free to have the problem-free life we envision for ourselves.

Weve found that this path of pushing others to change doesnt deliver long-lasting happiness or fulfillment. If every time we encounter a new drama in our relationships, we blame others or try to change them, well end up pretty disappointed. We might become resentful when we try to help others and they dont improve or, instead, we might cut the people who disappoint us completely out of our lives. Real change takes place when we learn to observe ourselves in our relationships and appreciate that problems dont come from other people, but rather from the connections between us. Understanding that we play a part in contributing to the problems we face isnt exactly the easiest realization; few of us like to think we could benefit from making changes. However, when were willing to be honest with ourselves and work on the only part of our relationships and lives that we can actually change, the benefitsfor ourselves and othersare endless.