William Backus - Learning to Tell Myself the Truth

1994 William Backus

Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
www.bethanyhouse.com

Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.
www.bakerpublishinggroup.com

Ebook edition created 2012

Ebook corrections 12.01.2015, 01.16.2018

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

ISBN 978-1-5855-8830-5

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations labeled RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1952 [2nd edition, 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations identified NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations identified (GNB) are from the Good News Bible , the Bible in Todays English Version. Copyright American Bible Society 1966, 1971, 1976.

To Nan

Contents

PART ONE:
Before You Get Started

PART TWO:
A Six-Week Guide to Freedom From Anger, Anxiety, Depression, and Perfectionism

A Word From Dr. Backus

After I finished writing this book, I sat looking at the manuscript stacked neatly on my desk and found myself wondering, What am I trying to do? Why did I write another book about truth? Maybe I have written more books on the power of truth therapy than anyone cares to read. And whywith so many books available that offer so muchshould someone buy this one?

These are valid questions, both for me as an authorand for you as the reader. Freedom from anger, anxiety, depression, and perfectionism may sound impossible. Although you may feel understandably skeptical, I can assure you that freedom from the tyranny of these emotions is possible. The freedom you are about to discover is the proven experience of countless individuals who have learned to tell themselves the truth.

As I wrote each chapter, I imagined a reader picking up this workbook hoping to find some answersand looking for a way to put those answers to work. Life throws many experiences at us, sometimes so rapidly, that we feel overwhelmed, out of control, or tired of trying. Perhaps youre feeling like life gets so ahead of you that youre tired of trying to keep up. Perhaps you just cant get organized, or are full of good intentions but cant seem to follow through. Perhaps youre trying to recover from losing a loved one or a recent divorce or a major financial setback. You want to believe that the troubling emotions with which you struggle can be healed and that you can again be happy.

Since Telling Yourself the Truth was first published in 1980, hundreds of readers have written to me to say:

Telling Yourself the Truth has been a real godsend to me, at exactly the time I needed it. It has workedand has fundamentally changed me.

The response from readers and clients confirms again and again the healing, transforming power of truth therapy. As I looked at the new manuscript on my desk, I realized that in the years since Telling Yourself the Truth was first published, time has only strengthened my burning desire to persuade men and women to give truth a chance to accomplish for them what I know it can and will do.

For readers who are not familiar with Telling Yourself the Truth , this workbook is designed to be used independently of the original. For those who have read one of my previous books, you will find this workbook to be unique. Unlike my other books, this one is made to facilitate reader response, self-searching, writing (or journaling), and self-directed growth exercises. In addition, research and clinical practice have continued to shed light on our techniques, methodology, and understanding. By incorporating this valuable information, this workbook updates and complements the original.

Finally, no matter what your circumstances, I want to offer you a strong word of encouragement. First of all, by simply picking up this workbook, you are a hero or heroine. By taking this action, you are saying to yourself that change is possibleeven if you are still somewhat skeptical. Secondly, I believe you are a person of courage. Making a commitment to look honestly at yourself, your relationships, and your circumstancesand make healthy changestakes courage. Any person willing to make a commitment to positive action and open to learning and growth is an unsung, everyday hero. For those readers who choose to turn the page and work this program of healing, welcome to an adventure in personal and spiritual growth. Welcome to the beginning of freedom from the tyranny of troubling emotions.

William Backus

Forest Lake, Minnesota

December 1993

Part One

Before You Get Started

One

Arthur was unquestionably a Type A person. You know the type: intense, abrupt, quick-tempered. He was the kind of guy who races through life tackling three jobs at once, while complaining about what he is not accomplishing. A sales manager for a computer systems company, Art was a man who delivered impressive sales resultsand he quickly let me know he expected outstanding results from me.

Arthur, what brings you here today? I asked during our first session.

Stress! he shot back.

Yet unlike my other clients, he didnt continue describing his difficulties. Rather than waste time telling me more about himself or his situation, he demanded to know a timetable for improvement.

How soon can you take care of this? Art asked, as if asking for a non-negotiable delivery date for the latest computer software. You psychologists try to keep people coming back forever, but I dont have the next five years to fool around. I want to get this over with and get on with life. Time is money. How long is this going to take?

The Unspoken Questions

Ive often wondered why more people dont ask questions about what their counselors plan for their course of treatment. Although Art may have been unnecessarily aggressive, his questions were quite valid. Yet few clients begin treatment by asking their counselor or therapist, Can you help me? How long will I need to come? or Why do you think your method of therapy will work for me?

Perhaps psychology has been shrouded in the mystery of the subconscious for so long that many people view the counseling process as complex, complicated, or too deep for someone to understand without advanced training. Yet this perception is simply not the case for those individuals who employ the process of truth therapy as presented in this workbook.

Im glad to tell you what I told Art: Compared to other methods of psychotherapy, truth therapy gets results quickly. Today, because of constraints imposed by many health insurance companies, a client may have insurance coverage for no more than eight to ten hours of psychotherapy. Even in that brief period, the results of truth therapy are encouraging. You can change the way you feel. If you follow this proven plan for self-help, you will find freedom from the tyranny of anger, anxiety, depression, and perfectionism.