Dave Earley - 14 Secrets to Better Parenting: Powerful Principles from the Bible

To Cathy, the worlds best parenting partner.
It has been quite an adventure,
and I would not have wanted to take it with anyone else.

To Daniel, Andrew, and Luke,
three amazing young men.
I am very proud of you guys and am confident
that He who began such a good work in you
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ
(P HILIPPIANS 1:6).

Establish the Right Target

A s I walked out of the hospital into the cool, late night air, my head was spinning. Moments earlier I had witnessed the miracle of birth and had experienced the amazing privilege of holding Daniel, our firstborn son. He was tiny, weighing six pounds two ounces. As I crossed the parking lot, I could not get the image of his little face out of my mind.

Myriad emotions swept over me. I was afraid, excited, ecstatic, humbled, and exhausted all at once. A numbing sense of responsibility pumped adrenaline into every step. I was keyed up and wide awake all the way home and through what remained of the night.

Parenthood!

That little baby boy was depending on Cathy and me for everything.

I was now officially a parent. The words Dad, Dada, Poppa, and Father swam across my mind, as did some persistent questions.

What do I do now?

Can I really handle this?

Will Cathy and I do this right?

What if we mess up?

I began to search for answers. For the next couple of years, as two more little boys were born into our family, I read books, asked questions, and watched video seminars about parenting. Yet it seemed as if something was lacking.

Then I remembered the source from which I had discovered the answer to all truly important questionsthe one book that alone explained the meaning of life and gave the best answers to questions about human nature, relationships, marriage, money, work, world events, and even the future. So I began to search the Bible to learn what God said about parenting.

Why shouldnt we view God as the ultimate expert on parenting? After all, He is our heavenly Father. And after all, it was He who created children, parents, and families in the first place. As the only eternal and everywhere present (omnipresent) being, hasnt He observed every family in history? As the all-wise, all-knowing God, isnt He alone the only One who fully understands every type of child, home, and parent? With such an expert available, why search anywhere else?

On top of that, God has not chosen to keep His expertise to Himself. Instead, He generously shares His knowledge with us in the Bible. This amazing, ancient book speaks with astounding timelessness and astonishing accuracy on dozens of subjects, including parenting.

One summer at the church where I am the lead pastor, I decided to teach through the book of Proverbs on Sunday mornings. In order to lay a foundation for teaching, I began reading the Proverbs repeatedly. As I immersed myself in this divinely inspired book of practical wisdom and insight, I got chills, as if I had stumbled onto a buried treasurebut even better.

Woven throughout the dozens of pages of life lessons, I discovered ancient, fundamental, nonnegotiable parenting principles. These secrets have served as a common denominator of successful parenting for nearly three thousand years. When followed, these inspired insights produce wise children and happy parents (Proverbs 10:1). After mining the riches of Proverbs, I continued my search throughout the rest of the Bible until I had identified fourteen timeless secrets for better parenting.

I believe these secrets are trustworthy because they come from the Word of God. Furthermore, I believe in these principles because I have seen how reliably they have worked in the lives of dozens of families I have observed in my years as a pastor. Beyond that, I have confidence in them because of what I have seen in my own children.

It was more than twenty years ago that I first made a list of biblical parenting principles. You should know, however, that Cathy and I did not always follow these principles as well as we would have liked. Too often we learned the value of these secrets the hard way. Beyond that, each of our three sons has faced some rather unique and challenging circumstances. As a result, we endured some incredibly difficult times. But overall we did the best we could to practice these biblical principles.

Today we can humbly and joyously say that all three of our sons are living lives that honor the Lord. They will soon all be college graduates. All three sense a calling to vocational ministry, and at least two plan to become pastors. God has honored our efforts by giving us three amazing young adult sons. Praise His name!

The legend of Robin Hood conjures images of lush forests, brave men, evil villains, a beautiful woman, a generous hero, and long draw bows. Imagine a marksman so skilled that he could hit the dead center of the bulls-eye and then split the first arrow with his next shot!