Shannon Ethridge - Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World

contents

foreword

Have you ever become frustrated working through a maze in a puzzle book? The goal is to discover a pathway from the starting point to the end without crossing over any lines. However, the multitude of dead ends can make this a true test of your patience and concentration.

Imagine a giant maze the size of a football field. Suppose someone offers you a ten-thousand-dollar reward if you can successfully make your way from start to finish within four minutes. You are certainly motivated, but when you enter the maze, you find that you cant see anything but the nine-foot-high walls directly in front and on each side of you. There are no markers to direct your path, and you have no way of discerning when a dead end is right around the corner. Your chances of victory are next to impossible. You need the help of a trusted advisor who is more familiar with this maze than you are.

If my daughter asked me to help her with such a challenge, do you know what I would do? Id get a forty-foot ladder and two cell phones. Id give one phone to her and carry the other with me to the top of the ladder where Id have an aerial view of the maze. Then Id call her to give guidance from above. I could warn her when she follows a dead end path, and I would tell her when to turn right and when to turn left.

Now let me ask you this: Would my daughter choose to disregard my instructions and attempt to trust her own sense of direction in that giant maze? Of course not. She would listen carefully to my every word, because she knows that I can see things ahead that she cant, that I am worthy of her trust, and that I love her and want her to succeed.

All young people face a similar challenge, only the prize is much greater than a measly ten thousand dollars. The prize is the health, happiness, peace, and contentment that come from saving yourself for marriage, choosing a good mate, and bringing beautiful children into the world. I have four such children, and after thirty years of being a husband and a dad, I can honestly tell you that nothing on this side of heaven brings me greater joy than my family. Youre probably one of the 93 percent of teenagers who expect to marry someday and the 91 percent who hope to have children.1 If so, please know that your entire future, including your ability to have a successful marriage and your own children someday, is made up of one decision after another. You may not always have the foresight to know where each decision will lead you.

Proverbs 14:12 says, There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. All over the world, young people are making wrong decisions that seem right to them. Whether its the movies they watch or the lies they tell their parents or how far theyre willing to go on a date, many young people think, Its no big dealEverybody does itIt feels right to me. They cant tell the difference between right and wrong, because they have no moral compass to direct them in the path of absolute truth.

Because of their poor sense of direction, many of your peers are making decisions that lead them not toward an abundant, joy-filled life, but toward destruction and even death. Each day in the United States,

4,219 teenagers contract a sexually transmitted disease, and many of these will later face a premature death as a result;

1,106 teenage girls abort their unborn babies; and

6 teens commit suicide, often because of a broken heart or out of guilt over a premarital sexual relationship.2

Every single day we lose precious lives because of one former decision made in the heat of the moment. Choices that seem right to these young people eventually lead down the wrong path entirely.

You have to decide whether you are going to trust your own judgment in your pursuit of sexual purity or whether you are going to look to a trusted advisor for guidance. Even though I cant be waiting on a forty-foot ladder for your cell phone call, I want you to know that you have a heavenly Father who sees the big picture, knows exactly which turns lead to dead ends, and recognizes the clear path toward victory. God has divine knowledge of where each and every decision will take you.

Isaiah 30:21 says, Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it. You may not hear an audible voice with the ears on your head, but if you are trusting in Jesus Christ to guide you through lifes maze, you can hear Him with the ears of your heartif you tune out the distractions of the world and listen for His perfect direction. He will not fail you in your time of need. He is completely trustworthy. He loves you so much, and He certainly wants to see you succeed.

As a matter of fact, He so desires that you consistently choose the right path that He gave you a road map (the Bible) and a trusted advisor (the Holy Spirit) to guide you. You may think that God is some kind of cosmic kill-joy who just throws out a bunch of thou shalt nots to steal all your fun. But Gods commandments offer us valuable preceptsor guidelinesto live by. These precepts will do two things: protect you and provide for you. Think of these precepts as an umbrella. As long as you walk under them, you are protected from getting wet and provided with dryness and comfort. But moving out from underneath that umbrella brings uncomfortable consequences. Similarly, when you cherish your sexuality and guard it according to Gods plan, youll be protected from sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancy, unhealthy relationships, and extreme emotional roller-coaster rides. Youll be provided with safety and security and hope for a promising future. If, however, you ignore Gods guidance and move out from under His precepts, you will most certainly experience painful consequences down the road.

Over the past four decades, Ive spoken to over seven million young people in over eighty-four countries about Why True Love Waits, how to discern Right from Wrong, and most recently how to move Beyond Belief to Convictions. Most of the questions I receive from teenagers as I travel and speak have to do with sex, love, or dating relationships. While Im concerned about what you and your peers may be tempted to do when alone with the opposite sex, Im more concerned with what you believe about your sexuality and Gods desire for your purity. Thats why Im thrilled that you are holding this book in your hands. I know that you are going to discover it to be an invaluable tool that will lead you down the path toward a renewed mind, a strong spirit, a pure heart, a healthy body, and tremendously rewarding relationships with others and with God. I pray that youll take every word to heart, apply these principles in your daily life, and allow God to lead you toward the rich prize of a truly abundant life.

If you are a parent reading this, I want to encourage you not just to give this book to your daughter but to read through it with her and talk with her about this traditionally taboo but vitally important topic. If you think that your child doesnt want to discuss such an intimate subject with you, please think again. Although she may not beg you to talk about sex with her, nearly seven out of ten teens (69 percent) agree it would be easier for them to postpone sexual activity and avoid teen pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents. The same percentage also says that they