Stephen Arterburn - Every Young Mans Battle. Stategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation

1. Robert Spitzer, A Matter of Choice, World, 19 May 2001, 8.

Stephen Arterburn

FredStoeker with Mike Yorkey

everyyoung
mans
battle

Strategies for Victory

in the Real World ofSexual Temptation

foreword

Since we started the band Stereo Motion in 1997 (then known as Phat Chance), we have recognized that our calling is not just about music; its about ministry. As teens, we recognize the unique and powerful pressures that surround us and our friends. Our goal is to use our God-given abilities and platform to minister to those specific needs through our music.

We feel that the most pressing need of our peers is to find the answer to one simple question: How can a young man keep his way pure? (Psalm 119:9). Though purity encompasses far more, sexuality has become our focal point for a firm foundation of a life of purity. The closing song on our first album (Without You, Flicker Records) is titled The One and is written to the women God already has selected to be our brides when His timing is complete. It expresses the commitment each of us has made to keep himself sexually pure for his future wifeand offers a prayer that she is doing the same.

We are painfully aware of some of the extreme consequences that can result from violating Gods command to lead a sexually pure life. When Bryan was nine years old, his father died of AIDS. Whether he acquired the disease from his lifestyle of sexual promiscuity with women or from his drug useor if he spread it to others through sexual encounterswe will never know. What we do know is that his impure living cost him his life, and only Gods protective hand preserved Bryan, his sister, and his mom. Years later, Bryan is drawing from the painful lessons hes learned to help steer his peers away from the paths his dad took and to point them toward Gods straight and narrow path.

Every Young Mans Battle is written with so many gripping real-life stories that, once we started reading, we found it hard to put the book down. The authors dont pull any punches as they share stories of real people making mistakes, and the authors follow through by offering practical steps we can take to avoid making those same mistakes ourselvesby showing us how to return to the path of purity if weve veered off course.

The books material is very straightforward and goes beyond the obvious steps for purity. Its not just about abstinence. For example, it provides a thorough understanding of the relationship of masturbation to our sexual purity. Think about it, guys: If someone asked you what the Bible says about masturbation, what would you say? After reading this book, youll know exactly what to sayand whats acceptable to Godin the secretive area of the M word.

We feel this book is a must-read for every guy who wants to deal in Gods way with his very real sexual temptations. We need to apply these truths to our lives and understand them so that we can minister to others who are struggling in the same areas. Wed be surprised if you cant think of at least a dozen friends who need to hear this message today. Will you tell them? And will you show them by the choices you make today?

Stereo Motion

Brandon, Brent, Bryan, Dallas, and Justin

dedicationand
acknowledgments

To my heavenly Father,
who lifts theneedy from the ash heap
and seats them with princes.

And to Brent and Barry, my brothers-in-law
and my brothers inGods grace.

____________________

Id like to thank Andy Turcotte, Steve Beeman,Richard Pickrell, Ron Strack, and Mark Oberbeck for your great insights intothe hearts of young men and women. You are wonderful pastors and Imamazed at your friendship.

I thank my prayer team as well. PastorPalmer and Deacon Mike Swaim have lifted me in the darker moments. I thankVicky Cluney, Diana Koontz, and Ray and Joyce Henderson, who never stop prayingor believing. And the head of the prayer pack is my wife, Brenda. What awarrior. What a woman!

I thank my friends who have understood myabsence at important events because of the deadlines. I thank you youngerfriends of mine who have opened your hearts to tell some of your deepeststories, all for the sake of Christ. Ive changed a few details toprotect your privacy, but God knows who you are, and He is forever grateful.

Gary Meyer, youve always been there to make me laugh, even ifit meant eating a cricket or waking me with horns and drums at two in themorning. Thanks for accepting me as your intense friend.

Mike Yorkey, you are a master. Im lost without you. And thanks toDan Rich, Thomas Womack, Michele Tennesen, and all of WaterBrook Press. StephenArterburn, what can I say? Your support and encouragement are ceaseless. It isamazing to me.

My mother-in-law, Gwen, has carried the ball many timeswhen we needed a first down. Shes a real gamer. Jasen, Laura, Rebecca,and Michael, you are the finest children on the planet. Youve sacrificedmuch. God will make it up to you, now and forever.

FredStoeker

Introduction

breaking the silence code

(by Stephen Arterburn)

Theres a time-honored code that almost every male Ive known has followed. Im positive that my father and my brothers followed what I call the Sexual Code of Silence. The code states that its okay to joke about sex or even lie about it, but other than that, its your solemn dutyas a maleto keep silent whenever a serious discussion about sex takes place.

Since everyone is determined not to talk about this, or maybe is embarrassed to do so, you probably dont have a clear picture of what healthy sex is all about. In fact, youre probably thinking that some very wonderful things are not normal and that some very normal things are pretty weird. Thats one of the reasons we wanted to write this book for you. We wanted you to have accurate information about a wonderful subject thats prone to misinformation and ignorance. Youre a sexual being and deserve to know whats right and true about your sexuality so you can have the greatest chance possible for a fantastic sexual relationship with the person you marry.

Its sad that in the Christian community, where we have access to Gods truth, we operate with so many lies and myths about sex. Some teens and young men with a low sex drive think theyre not real men, when in reality they may have a chemical or hormonal variance that lowers the drive. Some teens and young men with a strong sex drive may view themselves as slightly crazy and in need of major help to squelch their urges.

You may be vacillating between those two extremes, especially if youre in the middle of your adolescent years. Because your body is in a constant state of growth, you feel driven one minute and almost asexual the next. Dont let this concern you. Youre right on schedule, and everything youre experiencing is normal.