Fred Stoeker - Tactics: Securing the Victory in Every Young Mans Battle

Praise for
Tactics

Fred, youve done it again, my friend! Thanks for writing such a powerful and relevant book that addresses the real, tough issues standing in the way of purity. I am just one of many young women grateful to God for using you so profoundly in equipping men of character and integrity. Youve not only encouraged the guys but gals like me waiting for their holy hunk!

R EBECCA S T . J AMES , recording artist and best-selling author

In the warfare being waged by those who seek to withstand temptation or overcome bondage in the arena of rampant darkness surrounding sexual issues, Tactics is a resource that will aid or rescue many.

D R . J ACK W. H AYFORD , chancellor, The Kings College and Seminary, and founding pastor, The Church on the Way

My good friend Fred Stoeker has crafted the weapons and given you a battle plan to protect and guard your heart as well as restore moral purity when youve fallen. All of Stoekers books will be must-reads between this grandpa and his grandsons in building godliness and preparing my boys for the good fight.

D R . G ARY R OSBERG , president of Americas Family Coaches and author of The 5 Sex Needs of Men and Women and Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

Tactics hits the issues head-on and helps young men understand how innocent actions turn into addiction. With porn available on iPods and lust-driven online social sites like Myspace and Facebook, Fred gives real tools that can help any guy win this important battle.

B RANDON C OTTER , CEO and founder, PureOnline.com

Tactics is a brilliant addition to the groundbreaking Every Young Mans Battleinsightful and practical as it dismantles lies and shame. A gift of freedom and truth.

J OHN and L ISA B EVERE , cofounders of Messenger International and authors of A Heart Ablaze and Kissed the Girls and MadeThem Cry

Engaging in a topic so many people are afraid to talk about, Tactics takes us into the locker room and shows us the playbook, pointing out the opponents strengths, challenging us to continue to train hard, and reminding us that we have a loving Father who shows up at every game, cheering us on. Fred is the father many of my generation wish theyd had. His words on sexual puritythe specific damage and rewards to ones social life when one radically commits to itare some of the most insightful Ive come across.

G LENN L AVENDER and J EREMY T HIESSEN , members of the Dove Awardwinning band Downhere

T ACTICS
P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (AMP) are taken from The Amplified Bible. Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org). Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org). Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Italics in Scripture quotations reflect the authors added emphasis.

Names and other details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

eISBN: 978-0-307-45750-9

Copyright 2006 by Fred Stoeker

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.

W ATER B ROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Stoeker, Fred.
Tactics : securing the victory in every young mans battle / Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey. 1st ed.
p. cm.
1. Young menReligious life. 2. SexReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. MasturbationReligious aspectsChristianity. 4. Chastity. I. Yorkey, Mike. II. Title.
BV4541.3.S76 2006
241.66dc22

2006008985

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2

v3.1

To my heavenly Father

Theres no one like You, and I know that You, alone, are God.
But most of all, I know that You are my Abba.

To my sons, Jasen and Michael

You are bright stars in the darkness, real men playing for an audience of One.
Im glad youve stepped up to join me in our destiny as father and sons.
You are my brothers in Christ, and we will stand.

Thanks to my dear friend Mike Yorkey; God has been with us from the first day you read my garbled early work in Every Mans Battle. You bravely offered to come alongside me, even though your only guarantee was the hope God had placed in my heart. That took guts. You are a real man.

Thanks to Steve Cobb, Bruce Nygren, and the whole WaterBrook Press team for your awesome skills and your family feel. I love being part of the family!

Thanks to Scott Bruzek and Dave Millis, two of the toughest men I know. Thanks to Mark Oberbeck, Heath Adamson, Gary Meyer, and Dave Roe. Just the sight of you encourages me.

Thanks to Gary Rosberg, who freely pours his heart into mine while knowing full well there is no return in it for him. I dont understand such kindness and grace. Thanks for being you.

Thanks to Lt. Vicky Cluney and Pastor Ray and Joyce Henderson for your ceaseless prayer for my ministry, and thanks to Pastor Dave Olson for gathering the men to pray for me. Thank you, Joel Budd, for shepherding my heart so well for so long from so far away, and special, eternal thanks goes to Pastor Rodger and Liz Sieh and the intercessors in Reinbeck, Iowa. The whole Every Man series was carried into the spiritual darkness of this age upon the shoulders of you, my intercessors. Now, youve carried Tactics into the fray. Youre off the main highway and plowing the back forty of this world, but the angels know you well. They clasp their hands over their mouths in awe at your faithful response to Gods grace.

Gwen Hulett, youve been the mother-in-law of my dreams. Youve never once chosen Brendas side over mine simply because shes your child and Im not how many sons-in-law can say that? Your integrity shines brightly, and your love for me is downright inexplicable. Im surely unworthy, but Ill surely take it.

Blessings to my children: Jasen, Laura, Rebecca, and Michael. The stories of your lives are the stuff of legend to me, and the legend just keeps growing. You guys never change. I couldnt be more grateful for you, and I couldnt enjoy you more as friends. I marvel at your courage, and I marvel at how you