Arterburn Stephen - Every mans battle: winning the war on sexual temptation one victory at a time

Praise for
Every Mans Battle

There is no more common enemy of true manhood than the diversion or the perversion of our sexual capacities. I welcome every contribution to the arsenal of resistance.

J ACK W. H AYFORD , L ITT.D. , pastor of The Church on the Way and president of The Kings Seminary

This book will revolutionize the marriage of every man who reads it. Why? Because every man battles sexual temptations and every marriage grows stronger when these temptations are defeated. The vulnerable, honest, and insightful pages of this book reveal what every man must know.

D RS . L ES AND L ESLIE P ARROTT , authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

This timely resource presents clear, practical principles for sexual purity. Arterburn and Stoeker call for courage, commitment, and self-discipline as they lead men into a more successful relationship with God, family, and spouse. This book is truly for every man.

D R . J OHN C. M AXWELL , founder of The INJOY Group

God has used Steve Arterburn countless times to impact my heart and life; I am thankful for him and his investment in Every Mans Battle. I am also grateful for Fred Stoeker. Fred pours himself into this book with honesty, vulnerability, and a practical strategy to fight the good fight. He offers biblical truth and hope to anyone with ears to hear how to battle the war of sexual temptation. Read with an open heart, Every Mans Battle may save your marriage and your witness.

D R . G ARY R OSBERG , president of Americas Family Coaches and author of Guard Your Heart and The Five Love Needs of Men and Women

E VERY M ANS B ATTLE
P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, CO 80921

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. N IV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ( NKJV ) are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ( KJV ) are taken from the King James Version.

Italics in Scripture quotations reflect the authors added emphasis.

Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

The information on sexual addiction in is drawn from Stephen Arterburns Addicted to Love (Ann Arbor, MI: Vine, 1991), 109110.

eISBN: 978-1-57856-969-4

Every Mans Battle copyright 2000 by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, and Mike Yorkey

Every Mans Battle Workbook copyright 2002 by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, and Mike Yorkey

Published in association with the literary agency of Alive Communications Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, www.alivecommunications.com.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.

W ATER B ROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Arterburn, Stephen, 1953
Every mans battle : winning the war on sexual temptation : one victory at a time / Steve Arterburn & Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey.1st ed.
p. cm.
1. SexReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Temptation. 2. Christian menReligious life. I. Stoeker, Fred. II. Yorkey, Mike. III. Title.
BT708.A77 2000
241.66dc21

00-022845

v3.1

from Stephen Arterburn:

To my friend Jim Burns.

You have displayed great love

and been a premier example of sexual integrity.

from Fred Stoeker:

To my heavenly Father

(thank You that You ran to me);

to my wife, Brenda;

and to my friends Dave Johnson and Les Flanders.

Being part of the Every Man series has been one of the great joys of my life. If Id written and published only this one series, I wouldve been completely fulfilled. I owe all this to Fred, who lived out this message long before he was called by God to write about it.

Now, it may sound strange to some, but I believe Fred had one of those rare experiences where God interrupts what were doing and gives us a new mission. Im quite confident God spoke to him directly. Freds coming to me with his manuscript was also part of Gods plan, and Im so glad for it! As a result, my life has been filled with words I could never replace, in the form of e-mails, letters, hugs, crying eyes, and expressions of gratitude. Here are a few comments from the men:

• Thank youyouve saved my marriage.
• I am now the man I always wanted to be, living the life I always wanted to live.
• Oh! This feeling of freedom. I feel so clean!
• I dont know where I would be today if it were not for this book.

And from the wives:

• Thank you for giving the man I married back to me.
• We would not still be married if not for this book.
• I wish you could see the man my husband has become today.
• My man was totally transformed reading your book.

Ive received these kinds of messages every day:

I never go into Christian bookstores, but I was jogging one day and stopped in one. Staring back at me was your book. I was compelled by it. I ran home, got my money, and came back and bought it. It changed everything!

Somebody gave me this book about five years ago, and right before I was about to go back online, there it was looking up at me from the floor. I picked it up and read it through my tears. Our marriage has been healed.

Years ago at New Life, we started an Every Mans Battle Workshop weekend. More than six thousand men have attended since that time. For a few men, it was just a way to get someone off their backs. But for almost all, its been the start of a whole new life. One of my favorite stories is of a husband who came because his wife demanded it. After the conference he confessed his affair. He was truly repentant and said he would do anything to make it up to her. She asked him to sign over all the property and assets to herbecause the name on them wouldnt matter if he was truly finished with his lust and adultery. She asked him to shave his chest, and she asked him to get braces on his teeth. He did all three because he realized his actions had humiliated her and he was willing to do anything to humble himself and win back her heart. I speak with them both regularly, and they are doing well.

Im so glad you have come upon this book. For some reason God has put it in front of you. Im not just hoping youll read it; Im hoping youll live it. And while I know personally that every marriage cant be saved, I know that every man can reclaim his sexual integrity and every spouse can fully heal. Every man can walk with his head held highfree, honorable, and a man after Gods own heart.