Arterburn Stephen - Worthy of her trust: what you need to do to rebuild sexual integrity and win her back

Can you rebuild marital trust after sexual sin? Yes, and Jason Martinkus and Stephen Arterburn will show you how. Jason and his wife, Shelley, take you on their deeply personal and spiritual journey from betrayal to trust. Read this book and apply the principles, and you, too, can regain trust in your marriage.

D R . D AVID C LARKE , Christian psychologist, speaker, and author of I Dont Want a Divorce

This book opens the readers eyes to the difficult truth and reality of what it takes to rebuild trust in a relationship devastated by sexual betrayal. My marriage would not have survived without Gods grace and the wisdom and essential guidance found in Worthy of Her Trust. Any man committed to winning back his wife at all costs needs to read this book!

C URTIS , Arizona

No matter how tragic and seemingly irreparable your marriage may be, there is hope. My husband wanted to rebuild trust in a hopeless situation. He learned and continues to implement the amends matrix, and he has kept 242 days of the T-30 journal. We have not only experienced reconciliation, but we have been restored individually. For that I am eternally grateful! If you are both ready to let God redeem the past and help you build trust again, Worthy of Her Trust will show you how.

S USAN , Colorado

Finally, for one of the darkest periods of any relationship, Jason has delivered a no-nonsense, inspired approach for rebuilding shattered trust. By sharing his compassion and insight, he has opened the door for true transformation and growth. This is a must-read book if moving forward is your goal.

D AVE , California

Worthy of Her Trust is the go-to, step-by-step resource for professionals or anyone seeking guidance through the trust-building process. Martinkus presents a model of relationship intimacybased on closeness and honestya connection that becomes both the context and motivation for the redemptive journey.

B OB S KLAR , LMFT

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W ORTHY OF H ER T RUST
P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. Scripture quotations marked ( MSG ) are taken from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.

Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

Trade Paperback ISBN 978-1-60142-536-2
eBook ISBN 978-1-60142-537-9

Copyright 2014 by Jason B. Martinkus and Stephen Arterburn

Cover design by Kristopher K. Orr

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC, New York, a Penguin Random House Company.

W ATER B ROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House LLC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Arterburn, Stephen, 1953
Worthy of her trust : what you need to do to rebuild sexual integrity and win her back / Stephen Arterburn and Jason B. Martinkus. First Edition.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-60142-536-2 (paperback) ISBN 978-1-60142-537-9 (electronic) 1. Sex addictsReligious life. 2. Sex addictionReligious aspectsChristianity. 3. Christian menSexual behavior.
4. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. 5. Christian menReligious life. I. Martinkus, Jason B.
II. Title.
BV4596.S42A78 2014
248.8627dc23

2014004504

v3.1

I dont know of any assignment more difficult (but more worthwhile) than the job of regaining a wifes trust.

She trusted you enough to marry you, but the bond of trust has been broken. So many men just walk away when they have failed and broken the heart of a loving spouse. They think its better to walk away and start over than do the work to heal a wound that is so deep. Many men think they will be better off, but they wont. They walk away and take their shameand the knowledge that they walked away when they most needed to step up. In fact, research shows that those who walk away are not happier later than those who stay and work through the problem.

Using the National Survey of Families and Households, a team from the Institute for American Values (comprised of Linda J. Waite, Don Browning, William J. Doherty, Maggie Gallagher, Ye Luo, and Scott M. Stanley) developed a 2002 report titled Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages. Couples surveyed in the late eighties who rated their marriages as unhappy were surveyed again five years laterafter some had divorced, separated, or stayed married. The findings were very convincing but seemed to have little impact on the way the world viewed divorce as a solution for unhappiness. The world seems to remain unconvinced. Here are some of the conclusions reached from the study:

Unhappily married adults who divorced or separated were no happier, on average, than unhappily married adults who stayed married.

Divorce for unhappily married adults did not reduce their symptoms of depression, raise their self-esteem, or increase their sense of mastery, on average, compared to unhappy spouses who stayed married.