Burnsides Bryan The Brush. - Cut it out: re-create your favorite dictators hairstyle at home--for fun and profit!

F or Kim Jong-un, read Kim Wrong-un. Wow the fat North Korean superbrat has the badass do to end all badass dos. Truly, only crazy Kim could rock a crop that resembles a matadors hat atop a brontosaurus egg.

An early obsession with Disneyland and Mickey Mouse is thought to have inspired Kims unique style. The wearing of comedy mouse ears on parade was discouraged by Kims father, the late Kim Jong-il, and a not-so-subtle act of rebellion in a downtown Pyongyang barbers followed.

When Kim Snr died, his son invested billions in secret shipments of hair-clipping devices. The reason for this was revealed when Kim Jnr decreed that every male in North Korea should sport his lookor risk becoming the mystery ingredient in dog soup, the nations favourite dish. This quickly ensured the cuts enduring popularity.

For sure, its a statement haircut. And if were about anything here at Brush Barbers, were all about statements. Kims cut features a deeper-than-a-missile-silo shade of black and has echoes of the Herr Hair Hitler with a kooky Oriental twist that will keep heads turning long after yours has dropped into the guillotine basket.

get the kim!

1) Gently tease the tresses away from the ears and use clippers on a Number One setting to shave a strip two inches wide from ear upwards.

2) Using a curling wand, take the front of the cut up towards the crown, and into a tsunami flick. Lube with a combination of my own Trans-Man styling wax and a palmful of plutonium.

3) Next, razor the remainder of the strip and the back of the neck with a steady hand. If youre barbering a tubby North Korean, take care not to to nick your clients jugularremember, he has your whole family tied to a ballistic missile.

4) Snake the fringe (front right side) slightly towards the left eye before teasing the whole do into the classic Matador / Mouse ears shape.

I n the words of the incomparable Boney M, Grigori Rasputin was Russias greatest love machine, even in the days of horse and cart. And based on his lumbersexual hipster looks, he was no stranger to the flat white either.

Had he been alive today, Ras wouldve loved nothing better than riding his fixie around Moscow, checking out wood-fired sourdough pizzerias and using FaceTime to inflict disturbing poetry on pale, interesting girls. His beardy charms wooed no less than the Czarina herself, and its that bristle-brush look which is inspiring a whole generation of puny snowflakes to man up and Go East.

get the ras!

1) Use Made For Monks Super Serious ash-grey volumiser to work that badger-stripe along the centre parting, then rub the hair vigorously and frequently with discarded chicken wings and wolf fat (or The Brushs Serum Stains Supa Gloop if you dont have access to wolves).