Ryan Munsey - F*ck Your Feelings: Master Your Mind, End Self-Doubt, and Become a More Significant Human

F*ck Your Feelings

Master Your Mind, Accomplish Any Goal, and Become a More Significant Human

Ryan Munsey

Strong House Press

ISBN: 978-1983468872

Copyright 2018 by Ryan Munsey

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America.

First Edition.

For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, please write to Permissions, Strong House Press, 749 Salem Church Rd, Boyce, VA 22620

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Strong House Press. 2018

Table of Contents

PREFACE

States vs. Traits: Tools in Our Toolbox

Climate vs. Weather

CHAPTER 1: F*ck Your Feelings

Cant = Wont

95% of Decisions Are Made Based on Feelings

Reflection Questions

Activities

CHAPTER 2: Feelings Mental Experiences of Body States

Feeling Invincible

What Are Feelings and Emotions?

Reflection Questions

Activities

CHAPTER 3: Running the Show The Battle Between Our Prefrontal Cortex and Limbic System

Marshmallows and the Ulysses Pact

Reflection Questions

Activities

CHAPTER 4: Polyvagal Theory and Heart Rate Variability

Get More Play

The Polyvagal Theory

Reflection Questions

Activities

CHAPTER 5: The Gut Our Second (or Maybe First) Brain

The Gut: Our Second (or Maybe First) Brain

The Chemicals in Our Brain (and Gut)

Reflection Questions

Activities

CHAPTER 6: Brain Waves

Thats the Yoga

Brain Waves

Reflection Questions

Activities

CHAPTER 7: Mindset Upgrade Your Operating System

Dream (and Fail) Like a Kid

The Magic Happens Outside of Our Comfort Zone

Reflection Questions

Activities

CHAPTER 8: Master Your Actions. Control Your Future

Faking It

Time Management

Time Management and Productivity

Reflection Questions

Activities

CHAPTER 9: Habits of High Performers

Success Leaves Footprints

Reflection Questions

Activities

APPENDIX 1: My Nine Go-To Tools to F*ck My Feelings

ONE: #MTC. Move the Motherf*cking Chains

TWO: Music

THREE: Im f*cking awesome

FOUR: Play

SIX: Take a Cold Shower

SEVEN: Gratitude

EIGHT: Float

NINE: Remind Myself of my Personal Agreement (The Darkness Contract)

APPENDIX 2: Putting it All Together The Perfect Day

APPENDIX 3: A Few Of My Favorite Books and Resources

Acknowledgements

References

PREFACE

T he coldest I have ever been was a beautiful, sunny, 70-degree September day on the beach in New Jersey. While the local beachgoers were sunning themselves and enjoying one of the last picturesque beach days of the year, my teammates and I were peeing ourselves to provide temporary warmth while we shivered and convulsed in a way-too-awkward group hug intended to share body heat.

My teeth-chattering teammates fellow gym owners, strength coaches, and fitness leaders and I were several hours into the SEALFIT 20X challenge, a twelve-hour crucible event designed by retired Navy SEALs to help civilians realize how much more (twenty times more) we are truly capable of.

Despite the fact that we dealt with pain, exhaustion, cramps, and yes, self-urination to get warm, the day as a whole remains one of the greatest days of my life and one of my most valuable learning experiences.

It was twelve hours of non-stop physical activity; we were in the ocean, out of the ocean, upside down, carrying logs, and doing all the typical military drills you might imagine but also some youve never heard of (more on those later). We were pushed beyond our physical and mental limits intentionally, in order to teach us that we are capable of so much more than we ever thought.

I have been in a frozen pond in Finland, and Ive done snow angels wearing only boxers in the Rocky Mountains, but I can honestly say that nothing has been as uncomfortable, bone-chilling and cold as that SEALFIT day. I distinctly remember that moment standing on the beach in the sun, with my teeth chattering, shivering, and so tired that I could not move. I could barely pick my head up, and my body was trembling. Every ounce of my body was begging to lay down, seek comfort, and get warm.

But we had more to do. We were about to embark on yet another evolution what the SEALs called the segments of this crucible event when our instructor saw my hesitation.

He drew a line in the sand with his boot. Literally. He dug his heel into the wet sand and drew a line between us.

He looked me square in the eye and said, Its your call, Munsey. You dont have to do this. You can quit if you want.

Despite the mind-numbing cold and almost paralyzing fatigue, I stepped over that line without thought or hesitation. I didnt need to think about it. This wasnt a think about it and get back to me question. It was a who are you question. And despite the discomfort, I knew who I was. I wanted to be that person who saw things through to the end. I wanted to find out how far I could push myself.

That was the moment my life changed. Its a moment both Coach Mcleod and I will never forget; that was the moment, the decision that forever changed the way I think. That was the moment I became a man who embodies the phrase, I will do whatever it takes, regardless of how I feel.

Embody is the crucial word here. Up until that point in my life, Id follow through, but only if and when it was convenient. Whatever it takes was a value that I applied to my passions eating healthy and working out but it wasnt a value that permeated into every aspect of my life.

At some point, if we are to live as the highest expression of ourselves, we all must reach this point. Some reach it at younger ages than others. Many of our crucible moments are decidedly less comfortable than a day at the beach with your friends. Nevertheless, this was my moment, and if youve experienced yours, consider yourself lucky, as it is a point of no return. Once we do and become, we cannot un-become.

You may be wondering, if I wasnt there yet, why did I put myself through this SEALFIT 20X challenge?

Good question. First, let me be clear: I have no delusions of being a hero, warrior, or Special Forces operator. I have, however, been fortunate to work with a bakers dozen of these humans on personal and professional levels since that day, and I can say that we now share similar values about mental resiliency.

But the truth is, that wasnt always the case. And the rest of the truth is that my mentors saw things in me I did not see both strengths and weaknesses. They were the ones who signed up for this 20X event. And a mere four weeks before the big day, when a spot opened up, they invited me to participate. They realized a life experience like this may be just the thing to help me close that frustrating gap between who I was and who I wanted to be.

It was around this time that one of those mentors, Paul Reddick, told me, Your life is perfectly designed for the results youre currently getting, a quote Ill repeat for you a few times in this book.

I would not be who or where I am today without the amazing people who have served as coaches and mentors throughout my life. Paul, Smitty, Zach, Vince, Uncle Mike, Andres, Brad, and QD on that day, along with too many other amazing people to name, have helped me along the way. Im grateful for that help, and I hope this book can pay things forward, serving as both a guide and a call to action for you to become the version of yourself that you know youre capable of.