Blanke - Throw out fifty things: clear the clutter, find your life

Copyright 2009 by Gail Blanke

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

The individuals who have been identified in this book by first and last name have granted me permission to use their real names. The individuals who have only been identified using a first name are based on real people or composites drawn from my work as a life coach. I have changed the names of those individuals and modified personally identifiable details.

Parts of Chapters 14, 15, 17, 18, 23, and 24 were originally published in Real Simple magazine in a slightly modified form.

Springboard Press

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First eBook Edition: March 2009

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ISBN: 978-0-446-54434-4

For Jim

T he truth is, this book wouldnt have been possible if my mom hadnt threatened to turn all my dresser drawers upside down and told me to Get crackin and throw out all that junk, and I mean now! that summer day when I was fourteen. And it wouldnt have been possible if my dad hadnt told me to Get rid of anything that drags you down, sweetie. Moving through a bunch of negative clutter is like walking underwater. Its hard to get where you want to go. I sure was a lucky kid.

Look, I didnt come by this throwing out thing naturally, in spite of my otherwise pretty good genes. I had to acquire a passion for letting go, throwing out, and pressing the delete button in more than a few areas of my life. Chances are, if youve picked up this book, you arent exactly the oracle of organization or the diva of decluttering either. But youve got a longingokay, maybe not yet a passionto clear the decks so you can get crackin with the next segment of your life.

And the people youll meet inside these pages have that same longing, too. And they also have something else that you have: courage. It takes courage to let go of the past. It takes courage to actually make a decision to throw somethinganythingout. As youll see, for many of the men and women who have been generous enough to share their stories, actually throwing out fifty things wasnt always (frequently, but not always) a laugh a minute. But they found the courage to do it anyway. And in some cases, it changed their lives. Itll change yours, too.

In particular, Im indebted to Laurel Bernstein, Jane Blecher, Dan Blodgett, Eddie Brill, Sally Carr, Beth Comstock, Lue Ann Eldar, David Evangelista, Martha Gilliland, David Hoffman, Phil Hough, Parvin Klein, Alan Matarasso, Marychris Melli, Patricia and Roger Miller, David Molko, Pat Perkins, Richard Pine, Scott Preiss, Kathy Robb, and Ray Sclafani.

Richard Pine, my dear friend and literary agent, kept me motivated throughout the entire process of putting this book together. Just keep writing, Gail, was his daily dictum. It worked. And Karen Murgolo is simply the worlds best and most supportive editor. In fact her whole team is terrific: Matthew Ballast and Erica Gelbard are superb publicists, while Tom Hardej became, among other things, my organizational muse. And Laura Jorstad, in my view, is the queen of copy editing. And anyone whos ever called or come to my office knows my indomitable former assistant, Jane Blecher, stand-up comic, resident pharmacologist, and one-of-a-kind friend. But most of all, Im grateful beyond words to Jim, Kate, and Abigail, the best family any gal ever had. Ever.

We are all passionate pilgrims on the road to an uncertain but glorious future, shedding as we go everything thats a drag, and anything that causes us to pause, second-guess ourselves, orheaven forbidturn around and go back.

Im really glad youre with us.

W henever people ask me to describe my coaching methodology, I tell them I use the Michelangelo Method. Inevitably, especially if theyre human resources people, they look puzzled and say, What the heck is that? I never heard of it. And I always respond with, Of course you have. You remember that wonderful story of Michelangelo who, shortly after hed finished sculpting the statue of David, was asked by a local patron of the arts who had been completely awestruck after first viewing the statue, How did you know to sculpt David? I just dont understand And Michelangelo, being a straightforward, honest sort of fellow, allegedly responded, Oh, well, David was always there in the marble. I just took away everything that was not David.

And thats my job as your coach: to help you let go of all the extraneous marble; to chisel your way through the stuff, junk, and clutterphysical and mentalthat stands in the way of helping your very best self move into the next glorious phase of your life.

Our lives are so filled with the debris of the pastfrom dried-up tubes of Krazy Glue to old grudgesthat its a wonder we can get up in the morning, never mind go to work, care for our children and parents, and just put one foot in front of the other. And living in the Information Age doesnt help, either. Were constantly bombarded from every direction by flying debris in another form: the news, the media. On television, on the radio, on our cell phones, online, and in the air, were deluged with what too often turns out to be life marblegarbage might be a better word: all the stuff thats gone wrong in the world, gone wrong in ourselves, gone wrong in our lives. Or could go wrong. Oh, Im not saying we dont need to be informed. We do. Were citizens of a planet on the move, and we must know what needs to be done to keep it spinning forward. But we cant move forward, we cant move at all, if were locked inside a block of marble, largely of our own making.

So what can we do? Its time to chisel our way out, to blast through the stuff weve heaped upon ourselves, and step out into the clearing. Its time. Now. Im not kidding. The arteries of our lives are blocked, and that blockage threatens our ability to be happy, to make others happy, and to play our part in moving humankind forward.

Look, I come by this urge to let go and to urge others to let go naturally: My mother was a Virgo. You should have seen her drawers. If she asked you to get something for her, shed say, Its in my bureau in the third drawer on the left on the right-hand side, in the back on the very bottom of the stack.

And shed be absolutely right. Im an Aquarian. Oh, Im not saying were the slobs of the ZodiacI mean, I put things away in my drawersI just dont always know what things are in which drawers. And if youre a certain sign, does that mean youre going to have messy drawers? Maybe. Anyway, once when I was about thirteen years old, my mother threatened to turn all of my drawers upside down on the floor of my bedroom to teach me to finally get them organized. Thankfully, she didnt actually do it. (And unfortunately, my drawers will never hold a candle to hers.) But one thing she was able to teach me was to throw things out.

If you dont know what to do with it, or where to put it or why you ever bought it in the first place, or if looking at it depresses you, throw it out! shed say. Never keep anything that makes you