Harwick - The new sex bible for women: the complete guide to sexual self-awareness and intimacy

The Complete Guide to Sexual
Self-Awareness and Intimacy

AMIE HARWICK, M.A.

2015 Quiver

First published in the USA in 2015 by

Quiver, a member of Quarto Publishing Group USA Inc.

100 Cummings Center

Suite 406-L

Beverly, MA 01915-6101

www.quiverbooks.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

The Publisher maintains the records relating to images in this book required by 18 USC 2257. Records are located at Rockport Publishers, Inc., 100 Cummings Center, Suite 406-L, Beverly, MA 01915-6101.

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Digital edition: 978-1-62788-185-2
Softcover edition: 978-1-59233-641-8

Digital edition published in 2015

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available

Cover and book design by Burge Agency

Photography by Holly Randall

Image on courtesy of Shutterstock

For my mother,
Penny Harwick, for her ongoing support and ability to be open minded.

You already know how unique you are as a person: youve got thousands of likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, and quirks that make you you. Same goes for your sexual self: youve got your own needs and desires, and theyre not the same needs as your sisters, your best friends, or those of the woman sitting next to you on the subway. Theyre also different from those of your partner. Thats why getting and staying in touch with your womans body and your sexual self is so important: its the first step on the path toward lifelong sexual fulfillment, sexual empowerment, and sexual pleasure. And guess what: as a sexual being, its your right to have the sex you wantwhen you want it, and how you want it. Its true that, culturally, female sexuality has been dismissed, belittled, and even reviledregardless of the fact that sexuality is a normal and natural part of any adult life. Were going to change all that. Your sexuality is yours to own, control, and indulge inand its time to celebrate that fact.

Im Amie Harwick, and Im a sex therapist. Im here to help you have great sex, andjust as importantto love having it. And the best way to get started is to examine your own specific sexual needs. What are you curious about? What would you like to experiment with? What are you afraid of? What are your major turn-onsand turn-offs? You might like to:

Do a little self-searching by writing in a journal. Youre writing for you and you only, so go ahead and let it all out. Get racy: write down the most out-there fantasy youve ever had. Jot down your biggest feareven if you think itll sound silly. Writing down thoughts and feelings helps you acknowledge and process them.

Engage in thoughtful meditation. Set aside a while a few times a week to turn off the TV, your smartphone, and your laptop, and to think about your body and your sexual self. Let your mind wander. Whats the best sexual experience youve ever had? Was it with a partneror just yourself? What about the worst? How do you want to live your sexual life from this day forward?

Speak to a sex-positive therapist. (Sex-positive means that all legal and consensual sexuality is regarded as healthy and positive.) At first, talking about intimate things like sex and the way you feel about your own body to a stranger might feel a little weird. Thats okayit gets easier, and a supportive, sex-positive therapist can be a big help when it comes to embracing your own unique sexuality.