Wilson - Kiss me again: restoring lost intimacy in marriage

A fter I wrote The Invisible Bond: How to Break from Your Sexual Past, I began to hear from countless married women who identified with my story. Like me, they loved their husbands, wanted to stay married, but struggled with sex. They yearned for physical and emotional closeness with their mates yet shunned their intimate advances. They wished their sexual relationship could be more and were dismayed that it was not. They wanted to want to give themselves unreservedly to their husbands but could not.

Does this describe you? If so, youre not alone.

After spending the past several years speaking and writing on this topic and leading hundreds through sexual healing, Ive come to believe that sex is a universal problem in marriages. Most couplesincluding Christianshave sex before marriage. The sexual revolution has affected us all, lowering our resistance to the pressure to initiate sex before marriage. Since the sexual revolution began, sexual promiscuity has increased with each generation. Now, forty-plus years later, were reaping the consequences of our choices. The number of STDs has increased from just two prior to 1960 to more than twenty now. The rates of divorce, out of wedlock pregnancy, abortion, and child abuse, as well as use of pornography, have all increased. And theres another unexpected and uncounted consequence of the sexual revolution and promiscuous sexthe emotional and physical dysfunction evident in marriages today.

But theres good news. No matter what is in your sexual past, God can heal your wounds and restore your marriage. God can heal the sexual issues you are struggling with in marriage. He can reignite your desire and deepen your emotional bond with your husband. Hes done it for me and countless others, and He wants to do it for you.

For the last four years Ive been leading women through sexual healing using a Bible study that I wrote to accompany The Invisible Bond. What Ive learned from these women led me to write this book. Ive discovered that sex from the past is negatively impacting many marriages today. When most wives say no to sex now, its because they said yes before. But as these women have trusted God to break past sexual bonds, heal their wounds, and restore their marriages, He has been faithful. Healing sets us free from our pasts so we can rebond with our husbands, letting us say yes once again.

While I have written this book for wives, if you are a husband, you can benefit from it too.

Your wife loves you and cares about your relationship. She wants to grow closer to you emotionally and physically. She desires that your marriage be the best it can be, but something is holding her back in the area of sex.

Perhaps you have felt hurt or frustrated by her disinterest in sex. Thats understandable. Because she loves you, your wife longs to heal whatever is stealing her desire. Thats why she is reading this book.

By engaging with her in this process, youll help her feel safe and loved, which will help her to open up more fully with you. Youll demonstrate your love for her, and that you want to join her in achieving complete oneness, sexually and emotionally, in your marriage. In the process, you might discover that you need healing as well.

You cant fix your wife; only God can. But He will use you in this healing journey as you support, encourage, and walk alongside her. Healing will set her free. To love you more, to give herself to you morewithout restraint emotionally and physically. And yes, that will result in better sex.

The first part of this book will help you understand how sex from the past may be affecting you and your marriage. It will give you insight and information about the emotional and sexual distance you may be feeling, as well as why your desire for sex with your husband has diminished.