J.M. Kearns - Shopping for Mr. Right: How to Choose the Right Guy and Get the Most Out of Him

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Table of Contents

J.M. Kearns, PhD, is a writer of fiction and non-fiction who has at various times been a philosopher of perception, a crisis counselor and a music journalist. He brings to relationship books the unusual combination of a philosophers analytical mind and a novelists insight into emotions. His book Why Mr. Right Cant Find You (2007-8) has been embraced by readers and the press on both sides of the Atlantic and featured on Oprah & Friends and in OK! Magazine, Glamour, Cosmopolitan-UK, Macleans, The Toronto Star, and many others. Since then two more Kearns books have been published to critical praise. His novel ex-Cottagers in Love (2008) is a dark-humored exploration of a mid-life crisis, and his second relationship book, Better Love Next Time (2009), tackles the problem of how to heal your romantic soul and decode the lessons of the past. J.M. Kearns grew up near Toronto, Canada, and now lives in Cape May, New Jersey, with his partner Debra.

For more on Kearns and his writings, please visit

www.jmkearns.com

Why Mr. Right Cant Find You:

If youve been on the lookout for ages but still havent found The One, this is for you... youll be in the arms of your true love in no time!

OK! Magazine

Practical, encouraging and... optimistic... Kearns gently undermines the conventions and insecurities that keep [women] from actively and effectively seeking a mate, including self-defeating myths (Serious relationships never begin in bars) and media-inspired body-image issues... Personal anecdotes round out this thorough, thoughtful and entirely upbeat dating guide.

Publishers Weekly

I review self-help books for a living and this is the best self-help book Ive ever read.

Julia McKinnell, Contributing editor, Macleans

Im bringing the good news from the male side of the trenches, said J.M. Kearns... To set the record straight and defend the much-maligned male gender, who I think have been distorted in the self-help literature for years. Mr. Kearns said... men [have been] presented in... dating literature as a homogeneous block to be tricked, decoded and subdued by women. If you worry about what most men are looking for, youll go wrong, he said. These books tell women they must act in accordance with a prescribed set of rules that has nothing to do with how men actually think.

Globe and Mail

Unlike most such books, Why Mr. Right Cant Find You is funny, inspiring and quite practical. A new book aimed specifically at successful, real single women, it may be just the thing you need to find Mr. Right-for-you. And its been known to help a few men find their Ms. Right.

Carolyn Cooke in The Now Newspaper

J.M. Kearns in his excellent new book Why Mr. Right Cant Find You,... unlike other self-helps for the single woman, starts with the premise that there is nothing wrong with you. You do not need to be fixed. Kearns... has a Ph.D. in philosophy and has worked as a crisis counsellor... Whereas other how-tos portray men as unknowable aliens interested only in hard-to-get women, Kearns has a different take. A lot of men... he says, want a meaningful relationship. Contrary to the dating books, he writes, if you get into a conversation with the right man you wont have a problem knowing what to say!

Julia McKinnell, Macleans

Better Love Next Time:

Read it, people. J.M. Kearnss new book called Better Love Next Time... The books main premise is that people often repeat the same mistakes in successive relationships, but if you can diagnose what really went wrong with your exes, you can have better relationships in the future.

Erin Meanley, Glamour.com

I laughed a bit and contemplated my past relationships right along with what J.M. Kearns was saying. I felt like I was having a discussion with him but I didnt need to speak. This book was so well written; I finished it with a smile on my face and a heart full of hope.

The Book Club Queen

For anyone who is nursing a broken heart or just has bad luck in love, Better Love Next Time is a great read. Not only does it allow you to learn about yourself, it encourages you to grow and get yourself ready for the love of your life!

CollegeCandy.com

... aimed at getting you back in the game and emerging a winner... Working from the principle that past relationships contain the coded map that will lead to successful love, Kearns offers advice on how to unlock the code and stop making the same mistakes.

The National Post

Self-help books often make me skittishbut not this one. Kearnss advice is sound and good: he tells us to look inward, to be honest with ourselves, to stay the course. A chapter called How Good Matches Go Bad is, alone, worth the books price... He says our demons will invariably rise up and try to disrupt... Its important to learn to step back when you sense trouble and ask yourself, who is talking here? Are there old grudges in play? Old hurts stinging? False lessons echoing that have nothing to do with the two of you?

Susan Schwartz, Montreal Gazette

READERS SPEAK ABOUT

Why Mr. Right Cant Find You:

The book of hope. I followed its advice straight to a great new man I met, and now Im happily married to him!

Olivia D.

This book makes you look at relationships from a completely different perspective. I approached someone through an avenue I had never thought of before (because Kearns helped me to see opportunities, and empowered me to do something about it) and we have been dating ever since. The difference about this relationship is that I didnt approach it with a sense of lack or deficiency. This is truly a new day and a new way for me!

Lorraine L.

This book doesnt even deserve to be lumped in with all the other Self Help stuff: its better than that. I was shocked to find an intelligent discussion of something people almost never speak intelligently aboutpreferring instead to believe in some pie-in-the-sky fantasy at the exact moment theyre planning a life! I brought this book to my boyfriend when wed only been going out a few weeks: we read it together, talked about it, went on a road trip to test it out, and basically used it as a roadmap to find true compatibility... at the same time we were falling in love. I highly recommend it for couples, not just singles, because it jump-starts those conversations and questions you need to figure out before you get all emotional and sappy. We now know things about each other wed never thought to ask ourselves. Oddly enough, after you figure out you really can be best friends and great partners, all that dreamy love stuff is much deeper and more rewarding. Great bookand the little vignettes make it hilarious, too.

Marguerite P.

I was really impressed with the logical thought, the clarity and the easy, creative way J.M. Kearns has of leading the reader from one thought to another. Its not patronizing but it is infused with patience and insight. On top of all that wisdom and perception, it is great fun to read. If only I had read this several relationships ago!

Janet C.

Remarkably honest... the only genuinely open account Ive ever seen, of what goes through a mans mind when he interacts with a woman. As a man I can say... yes, thats exactly how it is.

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