Harry Fisch - Size Matters: The Hard Facts About Male Sexuality That Every Woman Should Know

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

KARA BASKIN:

I am a woman. Chances are, if youre reading this, you are too. And I, like you, have spent countless hourscommiserating with friends, chortling at how-to-date books, whining to therapists, roommates, coworkerspicking apart the seemingly capricious, confusing male mind. It can be a thankless task. Men mean mystery. For my friends and me, anyway, there are always behaviors that simply beg to be decoded: the way he speaks to a waitress at a restaurant; his voice mail greeting; the way he signs his e-mails; his Wii technique. Anythings up for analysis, and everything foreshadows something potentially wonderfulor something sinister.

Meanwhile, the male anatomysomething that can actually be scientifically explainedremains overlooked.

Were discriminating creatures. We wouldnt buy stocks without doing the proper research; or rent an apartment without scouting out the neighborhood; or begin exercising without mapping out a precise plan to demolish that excess ab fat. Shouldnt we do the same when it comes to our sexual lives? Be honest: When youre entering into a serious relationship with someone, you want to know everything about him. You Google him. You know where he works and maybe even how much he makes. You know the names of his last four girlfriends; you know all about his last bad breakup (the chick was psychoyouve determined this from stealthy Facebook stalking); and you know all about his childhood puppy, his embarrassing college roommate, and his meddlesome mom. You can talk late into the night about your favorite movies and books; you cook dinner together; youve met his friends; and you keep toothbrushes in each others apartment.

But, ladies, do you understand his penis?

Outwardly, the male body seems so simple, of course. Guys dont have to worry about annoying things like periods. Their sexual organs dangle outside their bodies, arousal is easy to identify, and what you see seems to be what you get. But once youve dated enough, the plot starts to thicken. We all have our war stories: Theres the dreamy guy with the semen that tastes like turnips; the sweet Emo guy whose penis curves terrifyingly to the right when erect; and that burly football player who couldnt get an erection at all. Untrimmed pubic hair; hairy balls; lopsided testicles. Each guy is a little weird in his own special way. And if he isnt weird? Well, thats weird too.

What does it all mean? In this book, weve tried to answer some of your most common and pressing questions about the male anatomy. These are things youd probably never ask the man in your life. Most guys arent burning with desire to talk about their ejaculation problems or masturbation habits, after all. And your friends might not be much help, either. Good information, like a good man, is hard to find.

This book is a fun, prescriptive, easy-to-understand troubleshooting guide for women whove spent oodles of time analyzing whats going on inside the male mind. What we really need is a book that tells us, smartly and humorously, whats going on inside a guys pants. As such, you might ask why I, a woman with a husband and without a medical degree, am qualified to cowrite this probing chronicle of the male form. Good question. The same thing that could qualify any of youbecause when it comes to unsatisfying sexual experiences, confusion, dating disasters, and nagging questions, Im right there with you. Though Im now happily hitched, Im fairly well-acquainted with the male form (sorry, Mom; very sorry, Brian).

And let me be the first to tell you: Just because youve walked down the aisle, the Good Sex Fairy doesnt automatically sprinkle orgasm dust on your new Pottery Barn sheets. If anything, the stakes become higher. After a spate of bad sex, you cant just lose his phone number. If youre considering having kids, fertility questions come into play. And then theres the whole familiarity conundrum: After a man begins clipping his toenails and naming his farts in front of you, the mystique of romance really begins to fade.

Married or not, my girlfriends and I often blame ourselves when sex turns sour. We think, if the sex is bad, it must have something to do with a deep, meaningful, soul-shattering revelation about our relationship. He cant stay erect? Maybe I dont talk enough. Wait, maybe I talk too much! His libido is low? Hes clearly offended by the fact that I make more than himunenlightened jerk. Falls asleep after sex? Im smothering him! It must have been those tampons I left in the bathroom. Accuse me of offensive gender stereotyping, but each one of these statements has come directly from the mouth of a twentysomething female. Women often overanalyze. Men, well, dont.

And so I say: Ladies, rejoice. You are not at fault. Stop beating yourself up over bad sex! As youll learn in these pages, thanks to the medical insight of Dr. Harry Fisch, theres actually a scientific explanation for most bedroom blunders. And these explanations have nothing to do with misplaced tampons. Its just that, more often than not, theres a real physical explanation for the things we attribute to psychological incompatibility.

This isnt to say that you shouldnt date guys with whom youre intellectually matched. But if your relationship is otherwise healthy save some sexual snafusdont despair. Just keep reading. This book is intended to assure you that, no, sometimes the problem really is himand sometimes the problem is easily solvable. Like you, Ive dated men with whom Ive clicked; like you, Ive also languished in dead-end courtships too long, thinking that maybe, if only I behaved differently, was quiet when I was loud, loving when I was overbearing, I could change things. The only thing you need to change is your anatomical knowledge, my friends. Armed with the information this book provides, youll have an educated idea of when to run, when to stay, and most of all, why things happen the way they do. And from better understanding will come better sex.

A word about my humble coauthor, the man who provides the answers in our fun-to-read Q & A format. Dr. Harry Fisch is a renowned New York urologist whos been seeing a parade of men in his office every day for 20 years. He sees men who struggle with fertility and erectile dysfunction, but he also sees guys who just want to know why their penis is behaving a certain way, or why their testicles hurt, or whether or not theyre satisfying their partners. When Harry and I met, questions flew. Wouldnt it be nice, Harry and I thought, if there were a handy, fun-to-read, informative book about the male anatomy? Were not out to make light of sex, or to exploit guys, or to tell you how to please your man in seven seconds with the most mind-blowing orgasm of his life, glossy girlie magazinestyle. Theres plenty of that stuff out there. We believe women are smarter and deserve better.

Consider this book your own personal goodie-drawer road map to the male physique. Think of it as the sex-ed class you didnt get in seventh grade. You may never know why hes not that into you, but with our book, youll finally understand him better when hes in you.

HARRY FISCH, M.D.:

How does a professor at Columbia University come to write a book titled Size Matters? Well, in addition to being a professor, Im a urologist and a fertility doctor who treats men having problems conceiving a baby. Ive become an expert in examining men and diagnosing problems with fertility and/or sexual performanceproblems that are becoming more common these days as the average age of parents keeps rising. I have learned over the years that there are certain common flags of sexual problems. And one of those flags is the origin of the title of this book.