Rick Maurer - Why Dont You Want What I Want?: How to Win Support for Your Ideas Without Hard Sell, Manipulation, or Power Plays

Its the relationship, stupid! Your great ideas dont count for anything if you fail to understand the importance of relationship. Thats why I highly recommend Rick Maurers book. It shows you how to pay attention to your idea and the other person at the same time.

Jeff Perkins

SVP Human Resources

AOL Europe

Why Dont You Want What I Want? provides a practical way to understand and work with resistance to change. The models and recommended actions are meaningful to engineers and change leaders alike.

Candice L. Phelan

Director of Learning Services

Lockheed Martin Corporation

Rick Maurer presents a practical guide for anyone who wants to build support for new ideas quickly. He reminds readers that agreements and successful changes start with solid relationships essential in conducting business with integrity. A succinct, useful, and common-sense approach.

John W. Loose

CEO

Corning Inc.

Maurer gets it right. One of the best ways to reward and energize people is to pay attention to their ideas and concerns. This book shows you how to advance your own ideas while incorporating the best thinking of others.

Bob Nelson

author, 1001 Ways to Reward Employees and

Please Dont Just Do What I Tell You, Do What Needs to Be Done

Ricks book gives leaders great examples, workable tools, and clear explanations of what works and what doesnt work when presenting ideas. It will help you to influence, in a positive way, a diverse group of stakeholders inside and outside your organization.

Jolene Tornabeni

Executive Vice Presdent/COO

Inova Health System

Why Dont You Want What I Want? helps illuminate communication and success. It shows all of us how we can ethically and effectively marshal our social influence for the betterment of our careers, our teams, and our organizations.

Othon Herrera

President & COO

IntelliMark

Read Ricks book its filled with great ideas and techniques to help you get what you want. And youll laugh and aha along the way too! It offers practical, field-tested advice to help you exceed your expectations.

Mark Victor Hansen

co-author, Chicken Soup for the Soul series

The ideas in this book really work. They have helped our executive team see the complexity of the interactions that were blocking us and become much more effective.

Donald T. Floyd, Jr.

President and CEO

National 4-H Council

Also by Rick Maurer

Building Capacity for Change Sourcebook

Tools for Leading Major Changes Effectively

Beyond the Wall of Resistance

Why 70% of All Changes Still Failand What You Can Do About It (Revised Edition)

Caught in the Middle

A Leadership Guide for Partnership in the Workplace

Feedback Toolkit

Sixteen Tools for Better Communication in the Workplace

How to Win Support for Your Ideas without

Hard Sell Manipulation, or Power Plays

Rick Maurer

Copyright 2002 by Rick Maurer

All rights reserved

Printed in USA

Permission to reproduce or transmit in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system, must be obtained by contacting

Bard Press

5275 McCormick Mtn. Dr.

Austin, Texas 78734

512-266-2112

ISBN 1-885167-56-3 paperback

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Maurer, Rick.

Why dont you want what I want? : how to win support for your ideas without hard sell, manipulation, or power plays / Rick Maurer.

p. cm.

Includes index.

ISBN 1-885167-56-3 (trade pbk.)

1. Persuasion (Psychology) I. Title.

BF637.P4 M38 2002

650.13dc21 2001058971

The author may be contacted at:

Rick Maurer

www.rickmaurer.com

703-525-7074

Credits

Developmental editor: Leslie Stephen

Copy editors: Rebecca Taff, Deborah Costenbader

Proofreaders: Steve Carrell, Deborah Costenbader, Luke Torn

Text Design/Production: Hespenheide Design

Jacket Design: Hespenheide Design

First printing: February 2002

Second printing: September 2014

Dedicated to the memory of

my parents, Ed and Edith Maurer.

They seldom spoke about integrity,

they simply lived it.

Why are some people successful in getting their ideas accepted and others are not? And what happens when we get our way but in the process hurt our relationship with the person we have persuaded to go along?

Think about the ways you try to get what you want. What do you usually do to

• Get a good idea accepted? Youve got an idea that you believe could really help your organization, but the one person who needs to grant approval isnt interested. What would you do?

• Influence a team? You own a small five-person business. You need this team to act like owners, think strategically, and make quick decisions on their own. But everyone waits for you to decide things. You demand, you plead, you even bought motivational tapes for the gang, but nothing changes. What would you do?

• Move into new technology? Your company has relied on print catalogues for eighty years, but its time to move to the Internet. You can save money and provide new product and pricing information quicker and easier. Unfortunately, people in your company love their old catalogue, and you cant get anyone interested in even seriously considering a change. What would you do?

• Change the focus of your mission? You serve on the board of a local service group that is an institution in your community. The demographics of the town have changed over the past few years and the types of services you provide arent needed as much. You believe that your service club should reconsider its mission. But whenever you bring this up, you are treated as if you are speaking heresy. What would you do?

• Create a strategic alliance? If your company formed a strategic alliance with a competitor, you could provide an unparalleled level of products and services to customers. But the leaders in the other company are suspicious of your companys intentions. Youve as much as said, Its OK, you can trust us, but you can feel the hostility when you meet with them. What would you do next?

• Avoid change for changes sake? After the merger, the new headquarters team has pushed to change most business practices to conform to the way the acquiring company does things. But when you suggest that your company had a pretty good way of tracking inventory and you think they should consider adopting this system, they smile as if a five-year-old had just said the cutest thing. What would you do?

• Influence a loved one? You believe its time to move. The house is too small, mortgage rates are low, and it is a buyers market. Your partner likes everything about the old place. What would you do?

Why are we influential with some people, but completely miss the mark with others? Why do people resist ideas that we think are absolutely brilliant? Why do budding agreements break down into winner-take-all contests? Are there better ways to build support for our ideas and reap benefits from them?