Laura Delarato - My Pleasure: An Intimate Guide to Loving Your Body and Having Great Sex

Text copyright 2022 by Laura Delarato.

Illustrations copyright 2022 by Amber Vittoria.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

This is a book about body image and sexual wellness. As such, it includes content related to physical and mental health issues. The information contained in this book is presented for educational purposes only. This book is in no way intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Delarato, Laura, author. | Vittoria, Amber, illustrator.

Title: My pleasure : an intimate guide to loving your body and having great sex / by Laura Delarato ; illustrated by Amber Vittoria.

Description: San Francisco : Chronicle Books, [2022]

Identifiers: LCCN 2021027970 | ISBN 9781797210742 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781797210759 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Sex instruction. | Sexual excitement. | Self-acceptance.| Masturbation.

Classification: LCC HQ56 .D326 2022 | DDC 613.9071--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021027970

Design by Rachel Harrell.

Edited by Claire Gilhuly and Sydney Fowler.

Typesetting by Kelly Abeln.

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Pleasure.

ple-zhr, a state of gratification, a sensual joy, a frivolous amusement. The sensation when something feels good.

There are plenty of ways to define the word pleasure. We all know what it is, but the practical application of pleasure is a lesson we glossed over on our way to developing nerve endings, sex organs, wet dreams, boners, hard nipples, and, of course, masturbating against the high-pressure shower spray (a favorite). We develop, were taught through any means we can find (old Playboys for me), and then one day we find we are adults with a sex life in which were not able to ask a partner to swirl their tongue the way we want them to.

• Women who put on too much makeup are asking for it.
• Boys will be boys.
• Time of the month is how you respectfully talk about menstruation.
• Sex is just for making babies.
• Contracting an STI means youre dirty.
• Condoms are unnecessary because pregnancy is something the girls want and STIs are impossible if you are monogamous.
• Being aroused just means you need to exercise [eye roll].
• The pill makes you unattractive and messes up your hormones for life.
• Marital rape is impossible.
• Blue balls are very dangerous, so if you say youre having sex, you need to follow through.
• NOTE: None of this is true.
• ANOTHER NOTE: All of this is garbage.
• ANOTHER ANOTHER NOTE: We all deserve a lot better than this.

Also, hi. Im Laura. Ill be the one guiding you through this book Ive written about the abundant glory that is sexual pleasure and its positive effects on every aspect of your life.

My teen self is shocked that adult me is writing this book for you. Well, actually, Im not that surprised that I spent a ton of time researching and categorizing sex toys (get ready for chapter 4, babes). Mainly, Im shocked that, with my collective history as a struggling, plus-size person, I found a way through it all to become an expert on the subject. But mostly, I feel really proud that this book gets to be both something for you in your pleasure and body-love journey and something that culminates years of working on my own experience for me.

My relationship to my body and pleasure starts around age twelve, when I grew boobs, got my period, shot up to around five foot seven, and developed hips and a belly that pressed against my Spice Girls T-shirts. I felt like a monsterfully overgrown and an incredible sore thumb compared to the rest of my peers. My body looked more mature than I was ready for, and the attention given to me was simultaneously painful and confusing. I was being praised for having boobs by men twice my agesomething I thought, at the time, was my only output into the worldwhile being told my body was a disgusting, excessive bag of period blood, sweat, acne, and blubber by magazines, TV shows, every single movie, family members, and every peer that happened to be thin enough to shop at Fashion Bug while I browsed the accessories. I was Ursula. I was Fat Monica. I was every chubby girl who made an excuse to not go to the pool party. I was the sidekick and never the love interest.

It didnt help that my childhood was a wishy-washy world of instability as I went back and forth between my Italian grandparents house in the Bronx, where they would withhold pasta from my plate because I was too chubby, and my mothers house in Virginia, where she drank more than she ate, and refused to let me be anything other than a kid on a diet. In fact, I dont remember a moment during that time where I wasnt trying to find ways to be smaller. I remember going into a dressing room with my mother when I was twelve as she tried to squeeze me into a skirt much smaller than my preteen body, and exclaiming for the entire dressing room to hear: Laura, youve got to lose some of this weight. My weight was a constant problem for everyone elseeven for my younger brother, who one day during the summer brought me outside to our concrete backyard in the Bronx and insisted I do sprints so that he didnt go to high school with a fat sister.