Cindi McMenamin - 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband: More Trust. More Passion. More Communication.

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

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12 WAYS TO EXPERIENCE MORE WITH YOUR HUSBAND

Copyright 2018 Cindi McMenamin

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97408

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-6867-6 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-6868-3 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: McMenamin, Cindi, 1965- author.

Title: 12 ways to experience more with your husband: more trust, more passion, more communication / Cindi McMenamin.

Other titles: Twelve ways to experience more with your husband

Description: Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 2018. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017039039 (print) | LCCN 2017048706 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736968683 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736968676 (pbk.)

Subjects: LCSH: MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. | HusbandsPsychology.

Classification: LCC BV835 (ebook) | LCC BV835 .M346 2018 (print) | DDC 248.8/44dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017039039

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Contents

I ll never forget the day I was cleaning out my top dresser drawer and found a treasure.

I almost threw out the stack of aged, yellowed papers, weathered by time and slightly torn on the edges. When I unfolded the papers and read through them, I instantly realized why Id kept them all those years. On them were written words any woman would want to read over and over again, terms of endearment spilling out from a mans heart onto paper for his beloved.

Cindi,

I have never met another woman like you. You are my fantasy, you are my dream. I love you beyond expression. How can I express my devotion to you? I can give you all of myself all of my days and hope that you see how much you mean to me. If you were to leave this place, my life would be pointless. You complete me like no other. I love you desperately.

Your forever man,

Hugh

As I read those words, my eyes teared up. And then my heart dropped.

I havent had a letter like this from him in years. Why doesnt he write like this to me anymore?

I read through the rest of the worn love letters I had kept, dating back to the first few years that we were married, more than 25 years ago! All described the captivating woman he saw me asthe intriguing, irresistible woman I had hoped in my heart of hearts that I still was in his eyes.

Given all weve been through, given the unattractive sides of me that he has seen through the years, would he still describe himself as desperately in love with me?

And then a more pointed question: Am I even the same woman I was when he wrote those letters?

How I would love to believe that I havent changed a bit through the years. That I am still the little lovely thing he fell in love with. And that he is the one who has changed and no longer appreciates me the way he once did. How easy it would be to continue to believe that he had become distant, more critical, less interested, and less passionate than he was the day we married. It was a little tougher to put that magnifying glass up to myself and ask if I was the one who let resentments build up or baggage get in the way.

Granted, marriage over time becomes messy. After you and your husband share the best of times and the worst of times, settle into a routine, let your guards down, and let each other see the worst in yourselves, it can be difficult to recover lost ground, get it all back, and experience with each other what you once did. But I wanted to receive those kinds of letters again. I wanted my husband to see me, once again, as the captivating woman he married. I wanted to feel like a young, cherished bride again. I wanted to experience more with my husband than what I had settled into the past several years.

I wanted to once again be the woman to whom my husband penned those letters.

We all change through the years, and hopefully for the better. Id like to believe I am wiser today and far more mature than I was in my younger years. But I can tell you right now, I can also tend to be less spontaneous, less optimistic, more irritable, more disinterested, and more wounded relationally, which unintentionally causes me to respond to my husband differently than I used to.

Theres an old axiom: Familiarity breeds contempt. It is human nature to take advantage of what we have. To let the novelty wear off. To grow bored with something. As time passes, the excitement and allure of marriage can gradually fade. We can so easily slip into routines or even resentments that keep us from being the women we once were and that keep us from treating our husbands as we once did. As a result, we find ourselves thinking, I wish I could experience more with him. More trust. More passion. More communication. More understanding. More laughter.

Just the other day a friend of mine vented her feelings to me: Sometimes I wish my husband would see the best about me, but unfortunately, through the years hes seen the ugly too. How do you get over the baggage that builds up through the years and make your husband see you as you really arenot as the woman who has made mistakes and blown it through the years? She was speaking my dilemma. I had asked that same question in my heart of hearts many times.

I realized if I was to be the cherished wife who receives another letter like the ones I found in my top dresser drawer, I would have to become that woman my husband wrote to so many years ago.