Anne Semans - The Many Joys of Sex Toys: The Ultimate How-to Handbook for Couples and Singles

Contents

Acknowledgments

Because a picture is worth a thousand words, I owe a debt of gratitude to Phoebe Gloeckner for illustrating all the sexual activities in this book. I also appreciate the ten talented authors whose erotic stories bring sex toys to life in a way that nonfiction can't. Their bios are at the end of this book.

Many thanks to my agent, Amy Rennert, as well as my enthusiastic editor, Kris Puopolo, and her assistant, Beth Haymaker. I appreciate the unique contributions of the individuals who helped with research and ideas: Jenne Holmes, Chris Bridges, Krissy Cababa, Joyce Solano, Adrienne Bennedicks, Carly Milne,M. Christian, Shar Rednour, Jackie Bruckman, Ann Whidden, Caroline Streeter, Genanne Walsh, and Mary Ann Mohanraj.

Much love to my colleague and dear friend, Cathy Winks, for giving me the courage to go it alone. Special thanks to Susie Bright for the well-timed encouragement and for always being a great role model. And thanks to Petra Zebroff, for restoring my faith in the old-school tradition of sex information sharing. All three of these women are pioneers in the sex world.

On the home front, thanks to my babysitters, Jennifer Wong, Jeffrey Abbott, Shannon Bradley, Trish Chapman, and especially Sheila Semans, who gave up many weekend hours. Without their patience, love, and flexibility, this book would never have seen the light of day. Finally, thanks to Roxanne, a young girl who understands the meaning of deadline, and to baby Lily, who's always ready with a smile.

Introduction

I was nineteen when I took my first spin with a vibrator. I spent the summer with a friend who kept her beloved electric vibrator lying by her bed. One day while she was out my curiosity got the better of me and, after giving the toy a quick sponge bath, I turned it on and pressed it against my clitoris. Nothing could have prepared me for the delicious and totally unexpected sensations that traveled through my body, not to mention the powerful orgasm that rippled clear through to my toes. Needless to say, I made up a lot of excuses to stay indoors that summer, and enjoyed some of the best orgasms of my life.

I tell that story because it illustrates how simple erotic exploration can lead to a richer sexuality. In the twenty years since my maiden voyage I've encouraged thousands of people to just try sex toys, you'll like them. In my conversations I've encountered all kinds of stereotypes about sex toys, but I discovered they're usually a smoke screen masking feelings of embarrassment, fear, or discomfort. Trying anything new involves risk, but when pleasure is at stake, success becomes its own reward. A sex toy can open up new vistas of pleasurewho needs a better incentive to try one than that?

Perhaps one of the most tenacious myths about sex toys is that they're okay to use alone, but they're off limits once you're in a relationship. By tossing your toys back into the closet (or burying them, as did a friend of mine), you miss out on an exciting opportunity for erotic discovery with your partner. Sex toys create new possibilities: for better orgasms, for new positions, for finding erogenous zones, and for improved communication. All that will become obvious to you as you reador playyour way through The Many Joys of Sex Toys.

I want to draw your attention to the heart of this book, the twenty-five sexual activities described in the Play section. They represent the most popular types of sex playfrom masturbation to oral sex to anal penetrationbut each is given an exotic new twist by the addition of a sex toy. Rather than overwhelm you with exhaustive lists of sex toys and all the body parts they can arouse (as sex toy catalogs often do), I focus on a specific activity, and recommend one toy that will get the job done in style. And because I don't think one technique will work for everyone, I also suggest variations on the activity so you can adapt it to your tastes. Although the activities are written for heterosexual couples, you'll find that most can be enjoyedor easily adaptedfor couples of any sexual orientation.

I've found that between figuring out what they want to do sexually, and finding a toy to do it, people often give up in exasperation. The Many Joys of Sex Toys is designed to make sex toy play simple, fun, and exciting. Much as you'd choose a recipe from a cookbook, I invite you to browse through these activities and try any or all that intrigue you. Whether it's locating your G spot, adding a sex toy to your favorite position, or learning to give a better hand job, you'll find step-by-step instructions, clear illustrations, and a recommended toy. You'll also find tips for partnered as well as solo play, plus suggested variations on each activity, so your fun is limited only by your imagination.

If that's not enough to make you want to drop this book and pick up a toy, the ten erotic stories interspersed throughout the Play section will do just that. Designed to ignite your imagination while also showing you the toys in action, these steamy toy talesof a daring bus ride, an unusual corporate meeting, a special anniversary giftwill prime the pump of your own fantasy life while also teaching you a thing or two.

After reading these inspiring tales and techniques, your thoughts will probably turn to purchasing a sex toy. If the large product selections in catalogs, sex toy shops, or websites dazzle you to the point of inaction, don't despair. The truth is, there are only a dozen or so different types of sex toyseverything else is just a variation on these basic styles. You don't have to own a sex toy for every day of the month (though you certainly can if you want to). You can get away with a few toys that will satisfy a variety of sexual needs. In the Learn section, you'll find an overview of these basic styles along with suggestions for getting the most out of your toy experience. And whether you're a sex toy novice or are adding to your toy chest, you'll appreciate the Shop section, with its savvy consumer tips about where and how to buy sex toys.

Sex toys can change your life. Ask anyone who learned to have an orgasm thanks to a vibrator. And there's no denying that sex toys have changed my own life. I've had a lifelong love affair with sex toys, both personally and professionally. I moved on from the little plug-in (to a bigger one, the Hitachi Magic Wand), and I managed to parlay my enthusiasm into a career in sex education. I've worked for three upscale sex toy shops, written several sex books and online columns, and answered thousands of questions about sex. Without the many people who have shared their experiences, stories, and questions with me over the years, this book would not have been possible. I hope you will learn from our experiences, pick up a sex toy, and go out and make some stories of your own.

ANNE SEMANS
OCTOBER 2004

SEX TOY JOYS: Why You Should
Try a Sex Toy

A reporter once asked me for an analogy that would illustrate why someone would want to use a vibrator. I replied, Using a vibrator to get off if you're used to your hand is a lot like driving a car with an automatic transmission after you've practiced on a stick shift. It's a lot less work, so you can just sit back and enjoy the ride. Of course, if you've never driven a stick, that analogy does nothing for you, so you'll just have to read the rest of this chapter. Here, in a nutshell, are five great reasons why you should try a sex toy.