Gray John - Mars and Venus in the bedroom : a guide to lasting romance and passion

MARS AND VENUS

IN THE BEDROOM

A Guide to Lasting

Romance and Passion

by JOHN GRAY, Ph.d.

Copyright 1995 by

J. G. Productions, Inc.

All rights reserved.

Can passion last in a long-term, monogamous relationship? Can men and women understand, accept, and appreciate each others differences in the bedroom?

Yes, says Dr. John Gray, whose

phenomenal No.1 bestseller, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, showed millions of people how to communicate with the opposite sex and be sensitive to each others different emotional needs. In this exciting new book, Dr. Gray explains how we can use advanced relationship skills to keep the fires of passion burning and achieve much greater intimacy.

Romance can thrive when we accept that men and women have very different yet complementary emotional and physical needs. Dr. Gray shows us how we can make small but important adjustments in our attitudes, schedules, and techniques so that both partners are happy in the bedroomand in the relationship.

In Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, youll learn how to communicate your needs effectively yet romantically and how to keep lovemaking spontaneous, fresh, and fulfilling. John Gray offers valuable insight into creating your own romantic rituals that allow intimacy to deepen over a lifetime.

John Gray, Ph.d., is the author

of What Your Mother Couldnt Tell You and Your Father Didnt Know; Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus; Men, Women and Relationships; and What You Feel, You Can Heal. He has been conducting seminars in major cities for twenty years. He lives in Northern California with his wife, Bonnie, and their three children.

Other Books by

John Gray, Ph.d.

What You Feel, You Can Heal: A Guide for Enriching Relationships

Men, Women and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving

Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships

What Your Mother Couldnt Tell You and Your Father Didnt Know: Advanced Relationship Skills for Better Communication and Lasting Intimacy

This book is dedicated to

my wife, Bonnie, whose openness,

creativity, and love continue to inspire my writings and deepen my understanding of relationships.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments .. ix Introduction . 1

1 Advanced Bedroom Skills for

Great Sex .. 15

2 Sex and Passion .. 28

3 How to Drive a Woman Wild with

Pleasure 41

4 Sexual Confidence 54

5 Women Are Like the Moon, Men Are

Like the Sun .. 80

6 The Joy of Quickies .. 94

7 Why Couples Are Having Less

Sex 121

8 How to Rekindle the Passion . 146

9 Polarity Sex .. 160

10 Mechanical Sex Versus

Spontaneous Sex 183

11 Passionate Monogamy 196

12 Sexual Anatomy and Oral

Sex 208

13 Keeping the Magic of Romance

Alive . 224

This braille edition contains the entire text of the print edition except illustrations.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I thank my wife, Bonnie, for once again sharing the journey of developing a book with me.

I thank her for her continued patience and creative support in helping me to be successful as a loving partner. I also thank her for allowing me to share our stories and especially for continuing to expand my understanding and ability to honor the female perspective. Her insightful

suggestions and comments have provided an important and necessary balance.

I thank my agent, Patti Breitman, for her helpful assistance, brilliant creativity, and enthusiasm, which have guided this book from its conception to its completion. She is a special angel in my life. I thank Carole

Bidnick who connected Patti and me for the beginning of our first project, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

I thank Nancy Peske for her persistent editorial expertise and creativity throughout the whole process. I thank Jack McKeown for his interest and committed support of this project since its beginning and for the support of the entire staff at HarperCollins for their continued responsiveness to my needs.

I thank Michael Najarian and his wife, Susan, for the successful organization of so many seminars. I thank Michael for the many extra hours of creative planning, plus the important and insightful feedback he has given me in developing this material. I thank the many different promoters and organizers who have put their hearts and souls into producing and supporting seminars for me to teach and develop the material in this book: Elly and Ian Coren in Santa Cruz; Ellis and Consuelo

Goldfrit in Santa Cruz; Sandee Mac in Houston; Richi and Debra Mudd in

Honolulu; Gary Francell of Heart

Seminars in Honolulu; Bill and Judy

Elbring of Life Partners in San

Francisco; David Farlow and Julie

Ricksacker in San Diego; David and

Marci Obstfeld in Detroit; Fred Kleiner and Mary Wright in Washington, D.c.; Clark and Dotti Bartells in Seattle; Earlene and Jim Carillo in Las Vegas; Bart and

Merril Berens in L.a.; and Grace

Merrick of the Dallas Unity Church.

I thank John Vestman at Trianon

Studios for his expert audio recordings of my seminars. I thank Dave Morton and the staff of Cassette Express for their continued appreciation of this material and their quality service. I thank Bonnie Solow for her competence and gentle support in producing the audio version of this book, as well as the staff at HarperAudio.

I thank Ramy El-Batrawi of

Genesis-Nuborn Productions and his wife, Ronda, for the successful creation and ongoing production of television infomercials making available audio and video presentations of my seminars.

I thank my executive assistants,

Ariana Husband and Susie Harris, for their hard work, devotion, and efficient managing of my schedule and office.

I thank my chiropractor, Terry

Safford, for the incredible support he provided twice a week during the most intensive six months of this project. I thank Raymond Himmel for his many acupuncture sessions at the end of this project that miraculously healed me of dizziness and exhaustion. I thank my friend Renee Swisko for her amazing and powerful healing sessions with me and the rest of my family.

I thank my friends and associates for their open, honest, and supportive sharing of ideas and feedback: Clifford McGuire, Jim

Kennedy and Anna Everest, John and Bonnie Grey, Reggie and Andrea Henkart, Lee and Joyce Shapiro, Gabriel Grunfeld,

Harold Bloomfield and Sirah Vittest, Jordan Paul, Lenny Eiger, Charles

Wood, Jacques Earley, Chris Johns,

Mike Bosch and Doug Aarons.

I thank Oprah for her warm and personal support and the opportunity to share freely my ideas on her show before 30 million viewers.

I thank the thousands of participants of my relationship seminars who shared their stories and encouraged me to write this book. Their positive and loving support along with the thousands of calls and letters I have received from readers continues to support me in developing and validating the principles of this book.

Particularly for the enormous success of my

previous books I wish to thank the

millions of readers who not only have shared my books with others but continue to benefit from these ideas in their lives and relationships.

I give thanks to God for the opportunity to make a difference in this world and the simple but effective wisdom that comes to me and is presented in this book.

MARS AND VENUS

IN THE BEDROOM

He wants sex. She wants romance.