Ford - Single : the Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent

Praise for Single

Offers true wisdom, practical advice and laughs too. What more could a person ask for in one book? Every single person should run out and get this.

M. J. Ryan,
author of Attitudes of Gratitude and The Power of Patience

At last! A kind and funny book for uppity women who revel in the single lifeand for those who fear it. In Single, Judy Ford reveals the bright side of the singles coin, and shows others how to live it with grace, style, and joy. In todays society, where all of us stand a good chance of being single, married, and divorced in our lifetimes, Fords advice fills a real need. As she says, Being single is often the best choice. Its as natural as being together, and youll probably have a go-around at both. Three cheers for this frank guide to the art of single independence.

Vicki Len, author of the Uppity Women in History series

Single is about upholding the most enduring relationship of all; the one we have with ourselves. Yes! When you know yourself you are never lonely, even when alone. Read and learn how to relate to your true self.

Bernie Siegel, M.D.,
author of 365 Prescriptions for the Soul and Help Me to Heal

Uplifting nugget for those who are single.

Gerald G. Jampolsky, author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear

Imagine a woman in love with her own life. A woman satisfied, fulfilled, and independent. Judy Ford reminds us that everything we need and want is right here, right now. Through her words we fall in love, again, with our own messy, ordinary, sacred lives. We dont feel so alone after reading Judys book.

Patricia Lynn Reilly, author of
Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself and I Promise Myself

single

The Art of Being Satisfied,
Fulfilled, and Independent

Judy Ford

ADAMS MEDIA
AVON, MASSACHUSETTS

Copyright 2004 Judy Ford. All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Published by
Adams Media, an F+W Publications Company
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322. U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-59337-154-3
ISBN 13: 978-1-59337-154-8
eISBN: 978-1-44051-896-6
Printed in the United States of America.

J I H G F E D C

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ford, Judy Single / Judy Ford.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-59337-154-3
1. Single people--Attitudes. 2. Single people--Life skill guides. 3. Single people--Psychology. 4. Single people--Conduct of life. I. Title.

HQ800.F67 2004
646.7'0086'52--dc22 2004002027

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

Photographs on pages 53 and 91 Thinkstock
Photographs on pages 1, 165 and 197 image100
Photograph on page 129 Image Source

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, call 1-800-289-0963.

To the wonderfully wise, funny, kooky characters
whove been there for me and have lifted me up!

Contents

Section One:
One Wonderful Life

Section Two:
There Are Places We
All Have to Go Alone

Section Three:
Rising to the Occasion

Section Four:
The Best Revenge Is a Good Life

Section Five:
No One Can Love You More
Than You Can Love Yourself

Section Six:
Youre Going to
Make It After All

Acknowledgments

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.

RICHARD BACH

Many thanks to Ame Beanland for designing a top-notch proposal that boosted my idea off the launching pad. To literary agent Jenny Bent for finding a perfect match for me with Adams Media. To my ever-optimistic and enthusiastic editor, Danielle Chiotti, for instantly seeing the potential and for her clear guidance. To Virginia Beck and Laura MacLaughlin for adding the final polish. To Frank Rivera for designing a fabulous cover. A lifetime of thank-yous to Gethen Bassett, who not only asks hows it going, but cares about the answer. To Jay Schlechter for ideas when I had none and whose sweet candor is always an unexpected blessing. To Linda Seelbach and her team of vibrant role models, Cathy Houser, Rosie Dorn, and Roz Montgomery. To Andrea Hurst, for believing in the message of this book. To Barbara Deede, for unfailing support and spreading my books around town. To all the singles who so willingly shared their struggles and triumphs with me. And to my lovely, lively daughter Amanda Ford for her uplifting spirit and for once again allowing me to share our story.

Introduction

The Most Enduring Relationship of All

Studies show that dread of public speaking is high on the list of big fears for most people. The mere thought of standing up in front of strangers to deliver a five-minute talk can send spasms of panic through the most accomplished adult. Sweaty palms, racing heart, cold sweats, and stage fright overtake even the most skilled performers. Making a fool of oneself is mortifying, but as humiliating as that might be, I can testify to the fact that the fear of public speaking is a mere tickle in comparison to the seismic ripples of horror that reverberate through the heart when faced with spending a weekend alone. It isnt public speaking, or snakes, or high places that bring adults to their shaky little knees. No, the biggest nightmare of all is the fear of being alone.

No one likes to admit it, but weve all felt it. Spending Friday night without a companion is enough to send folks who dont like the taste of booze running to the bars. Saturday night without a date is the embodiment of the Somethings wrong with me syndrome. People are more courageous about going to the dentist than they are about eating dinner in restaurant alone. Ive suffered from the condition myself. Why, I even walked down the aisle whispering, Anything is better than nothing.

Yes, millions are terrified of facing singleness. To avoid it we settle for less, hooking up and staying in stale relationships. We marry, divorce, and do it again. Its a vicious little cycle. In desperation, we read books on finding a mate, and when that doesnt work we read books on how to live alone and love it. Sadly, neither approach solves the dilemma because being single is not a condition to be cured. Being single is natural, as natural as being together. One is not better than the otherthey are complementary.

Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled, and Independent is a peek into the everyday life of ordinary singlespart memoir, part self-help, part inspirationthe message of Single is a clear one. Single is about being satisfied and happy as an individual, whether you end up in a relationship or not. Heres the honest scoop about mastering the art. Its worth a try. After all, you are with yourself more than you are with anyone else. Within these pages is the full storythe highs and lows, the love and the anguish.