Gregoire - The good girls guide to great sex : (and you thought bad girls have all the fun)

the good girls guide
to great sex

(and you thought bad girls have all the fun)

SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE

To Keith

I love you

Contents

I was introduced to Sheila Wray Gregoires words long before I met her in person and I loved them! I was on the Hearts at Home blog, researching a topic for moms, and I started following the bread-crumb trail of mommy blog to mommy blog at light speed. I hit Sheilas To Love, Honor and Vacuum and stopped and paused and read and stayed and read more and more Still hungry for more of her wisdom, I signed up for the RSS feed! I couldnt get enough of Sheilas common-sense advice, which is sprinkled with humor, wisdom, and always, always, always honest very honest extremely honest words. Sheila is candid, sincere, frank, straightforward, and courageous. She is like fresh air on a clear, snowy Canadian day. I am not the only one who feels this way about Sheilas writing. Her blog is one of Canadas most popular. I think it might be because she courageously calls things like she sees them.

I know she is gutsy, because I, too, made the brave and bold (and maybe half-crazy) decision to join the small handful of women willing to write a book about sex! Actually, I have penned a few books on sex and romance, so perhaps that is why Sheila and her publisher, Zondervan, had the wild idea that I might have something nice to say in a forward for this exciting, much-needed, new book! I have some idea how it feels to be in Sheilas shoes as she sought to create a love-changing resource to add the spark and sizzle to your sex life.

Why a Good Girls Guide on Sex?

Pure Pleasure: Making Your Marriage a Great Affair was our (my amazing husband, Bill, and my) first book and writing a book about sex is not how most people start their writing careers! That book is now out of print, so we created one that was much more honest, straightforward, and spirited to replace it: Red Hot Monogamy . Are you wondering what causes a seemingly sane, conservative woman to write a book about sex? I am pretty sure if you ask Sheila and me that same question, you will get the same answer WE HAD TO!

Broken hearts, a myriad of questions, and a landslide of emails from precious women, much like you, beckoned us to jump in the deep end of the human relationship pool. We both try to answer (dare we say advise ?) women on matters that happen behind locked bedroom doors (or maybe other doors!). As you read The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex , I will give you the same advice I give those in the audience of our events. At conferences, I hold up a copy of Red Hot Monogamy , a black Sharpie marker, and a bright-pink highlighter and say, This is your sex life. You design it. God will lead each of us to our own comfort level with our spouse. So when you read, if you love the idea, highlight it with an enthusiastic, Wow! Awesome! Lets try that! If you hit something that makes a chill go up your spine, simply draw a line through it with a, Hmm, not ready for that one yet!

Too Hot to Handle?

Before you get out a brown-paper wrapper to cover up the fact that you are reading a book on sex, stop and consider the evidence that God is applauding your choice! After all, he placed an entire book in the Bible dedicated to marital intimacy. So stand tall as you echo the words of the wife in Song of Songs, when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go. (Song 3:4).

It is a challenge as a writer to pen something on a topic as controversial as sex and make everyone happy, so give Sheila some grace as you read (like a Good Girl should). If you hit a steamy section, just turn up the air-conditioning, grab an iced tea or a snow cone, and fan away but KEEP READING! If you read and all this talk of why and how to be a good girl makes you roll your eyes KEEP READING! Sheilas top-notch extensive research will convince you that Good Girls really do have more red hot monogamy and they love it and so do their husbands! Follow Sheilas great example and be brave enough to read all the way through clear through every well-documented and educational footnote! You will be glad you did and so will your guy!

Maybe you are still struggling with the why of reading a book like this. I think you are reading The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex because you want something out of it:

Help for your marriageHumor to spark up a long-term love lifeHealing from the baggage and pain of your pastHard facts to counsel a friend or yourselfHope for an orgasm or multiple ones!

Maybe you are in the majority group of women who say, Why should I read a book about sex shouldnt my man? What about me? I will tell you what I share with every woman who has heard me speak on 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband :

Step out. Take a risk and wow your husband. There is no downside. As you gain new tools and ideas to wow your mate, God will be changing you and you are going to like the woman you will be at the end of this book. Sure, implementing the wonderful, insightful, practical Good Girls Guide ideas will please your husband. It will also change his heart so he becomes easier to live with, easier to love but so will you! Your desire to enrich your sex life will likely transform your marriage and your man, and he may want to boomerang some of that love, some of those sizzling, sexy ideas, right back to you!

To wow your man, to really become what Sheila calls a Good Girl (and great lover), keep this simple acrostic in mind.

BE

W illing:If you are not quite excited about this adventure in The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex , simply pray, God give me the desire to care about my Good Guy. We have seen that women who pray about better sex in their marriage often become the answer to their own prayers! O bservant:Clue into your sex life, into your husband, and into whats going on in your own heart, mind, and body. Sheila will challenge and cheer you on as you tap into the sexy Good Girl inside. Some of your preconceptions will take a new slant, and many of your fears or frustrations will vanish if you put your whole heart and mind (and body) into this hands-on homework! W atching:Go get some girlfriends and challenge them to buy The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex and pray for each other as you daringly seek to enhance your marriage. See how God will help you become a better wife and more confident lover. God will add some wow to the intimate times you have with your man because he set this whole sex thing in motion:That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.GENESIS 2:24

You can trust him and Sheilas Good Girl practical recommendations to fan the flame of your sex life.

Whats So Different about a Good Girl?

In the first book of the Bible, God spelled it out we are different, male and female he created them (Gen. 1:27). Good Girls are wired differently than Good Guys. In our bestseller, Men Are Like Waffles , Women Are Like Spaghetti , we share a quote that captures these differences in the bedroom in a very simple, clear-cut way:

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: show up naked!

So all you Good Girls (and you former Bad Girls going good), read every word on every page of The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex . After you complete this task, my smart, savvy, sexy friend, show up naked!

Grab The Good Girls Guide and find a quiet place to settle in. My guess is this book will be the page-turner it was for me. I read it straight through, pausing just long enough to plan some Good Girl sex with my great guy! (Heavy, happy sigh!) We have been happily married for over thirty-two years, and we have been marriage educators almost all of those thirty-plus years and Sheila still managed to enlighten me on some things! She also confirmed many of the things Bill and I have seen work for couples and their intimate lives, so I found myself saying, Thats right, Sheila! Amen! You got it, girl! The best part of reading The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex is that you will find yourself, with the turn of every page, anticipating your next time with your Good Guy. (Wahoo! Oh, yeah!)

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