Gregoire - 31 days to great sex: love. friendship. fun

Sheila Wray Gregoire

31 Days to Great Sex

by Sheila Wray Gregoire

Copyright 2012 Sheila Wray Gregoire

Smashwords Edition

The right of Sheila Wray Gregoire to be identified asauthor of this Work has been asserted by her in accordance withsections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act1988.

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Days 1-8: Turning Sex intoSomething Positive

Days 9-12: Laughter (EmotionalIntimacy)

Days 13-20: Making Sex FeelWonderful (Physical Intimacy)

Days 21-25: True Oneness in theBedroom (Spiritual Intimacy)

Days 26-31: Keep the MomentumGoing!

Who doesnt want greatsex?

To feel swept off yourfeet, to feel totally one with another person, to feel physicalecstasythat sounds heavenly!

But not all of usexperience that when we make love with our spouses. Some of usdont feel very much pleasure. Some of us have really low sexdrives. Some of us feel rejected because our spouse doesnt seem towant sex very often.

No matter where yourecoming from, Im glad that youve decided to launch into the 31Days to Great Sex. This book is intended for married couples whowant to experience real intimacy and ecstasy in thebedroom.

The month starts with aweek of challenges helping us to see sex in a more positive light,and then turns to challenges relating to the three aspects ofintimacy: emotional intimacy in the bedroom, physicial intimacy inthe bedroom, and spiritual intimacy in the bedroom. As you movealong in the 31 days, more and more of the challenges have to dowith sexual technique and spicing things up. But not all of themdo. And then at the end theres a week on how to make sure that themomentum keeps up, even when the challenges areover.

If youre eager to jumpin to the steamy stuff, please dont. Do the challenges in order.Our biggest sex organ is our brain. We need to think the rightthings about sex and feel the right things about sex before ourbodies will work properly when it comes to sex. And so often ourbiggest roadblocks arent technique but communication. One of thebiggest breakthroughs you may find this month is that you finallyhave the chance to really talk about importantthings.

How does it work? Eachday has a new topic and a new challenge. Do the challenges!Actually putting principles into practice is far more effectivethan just reading about them.

Included in this 31Days are three big time outs. Sometimes couples need a little bitof encouragement and some time to process what theyre learning, soits okay if you cant get through this in one 31-day calendarmonth. Just work at your own pace. In fact, for many couplesworking through this series, sex has become a huge source ofconflict, fear, or hurt. And some of the challenges may feel likeyoure ripping a scab off of a wound. So some of you will needthose time outs to re-evaluate, take stock, and keepgoing.

Note, too, that many ofthe challenges dont actually involve making love. Many of theminvolve talking, or sorting out some big issues. While youlldefinitely have fireworks this month, often one of the barriers tothose fireworks is that youve never actually sat down anddiscussed what you want your sex life to be like, or what youenjoy, or what makes you nervous. Taking this opportunity to openthose lines of communication will make the physical side of yourrelationship that much better.

You will get the mostout of these 31 days if you approach the challenges asking, whatcan I do to make my marriage better?, rather than thinking, Ireally hope my spouse is listening to this so that they willchange! Instead of focusing on where your spouse is failing, lookat what you can do to fuel intimacy in yourmarriage.

Finally, if you want totake a break while shes having her period, thats fine,tooalthough many of the challenges dont need to involveintercourse. So play it by ear. There are no hard and fastrules.

Sex is the number onething that couples fight over. Its tied up in our identity, ourfeelings of self-worth, and our confidence in our marriage. It hasthe potential to either break you apart, or bring you closer thanyou ever thought you could be. My dream and prayer for each couplereading this is that you will achieve the latter: that you willfeel closer, that you will feel truly intimate, that you will feelone. Lets launch in!

Sex is everywhere. Itsused to sell cars. Its used to sell movies. It motivates clothingpurchases, vacation destinations, and even car choices. You cantget away from it.

But what is sex reallysupposed to be about?

When I was thinking about that question, I wasbrowsing the internet for a picture to match the blog post I wouldwrite (for this ebook originally began as a series of blog posts onmy blog, http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com ).I came across a picture of a man and a woman in their weddingattire: she in a flowing white gown, he in a tuxedo. And they weresitting together on a bed.

I dont know how many of us would have beengutsy enough to have a wedding photograph taken on a bed (or howmany of us would hang such a picture on our wall), but I think itsrefreshing, because it says:

This is important. This is a vital part of ourrelationship. And it all starts nowafter the wedding.

Sex is the physical acting out ofeverything that marriage is. We become vulnerable with oneanother. We become naked with one another completelyand that meansreal intimacy, not just physical intimacy. We cherish each other.We protect each other. But we also have a ton of fun with eachother!

Think about it: in marriage, we are fullycommitted to one another for life. We love each other and wecherish each other. We laugh together and we cry together. And insex, we also do all of those things and express all of thosethings, because sex is uniquely created to do that. God made sex to feel great, but He alsomade it to be a deeply intimate experience.

But while sex is supposed to be stupendous, whatif thats not what youre experiencing? I read this quotation onTwitter recently:

Satans big marriage strategy: get people tohave sex before theyre married. Then get them to stop once theyremarried!

Now perhaps you dont believe in Satanor evenin Godand thats okay. You can still get everything out of thesechallenges. But hear me out just for a second. Heres the problemwith so many of us having sex before were committed for life: itmakes sex all about the physical, and not about the spiritual oremotional connection. And then, because sex has come to mean mostlypleasure, it can lose its ability to really cement us together inother ways.