XO Publishing - The Counterfeit Climax

PRAISE FOR THE COUNTERFEIT CLIMAX

Dave and Ashley have worked together to create such an amazing resource for couples. Sexual issues are one of the most controversial subjects discussed in marriage. This resource addresses each and every question most couples are too hesitant to ask. Their answers are so clinically sound, practically possible, and immediately applicable. I highly recommend this book whether you are single, engaged, married, divorced, or anywhere in between.

Dr. Cassie Reed, LPC-Supervisor, Director Marriage and Family Therapy, Associate Professor of Counseling, The Kings University

Honest. So, so honest! These are sensitive but important conversations the church (and others) need to be having. The authenticity with which Dave and Ashley write, as they communicate through the lenses of Scripture and their own personal struggles, takes what should be complex and uncomfortable topics and makes them simple and disarming, providing hope for every reader.

Dr. Beau Hummel, President/Co-Founder, Marriage For Life, Inc.

Dave and Ashley Willis are some of the most authentic and genuine people I know. And that shows in this book. I love how theyre open about some really hard topics and give great Biblical insight into how to have a marriage that honors God.

Jol Malm, Founder, Summit Leaders, Author, Love Slows Down

Dave and Ashley Willis are such a fun and real couple. I highly recommend reading anything theyve written, as its written with love, experience, and a realistic approach. This book is a must have for any couple that wants to connect on a real level.

Brandi Rhodes, Model, Wrestler, and Reality TV Star

There is no doubt that God has raised Dave and Ashley up to be the leading voices for healthy, vulnerable, strong marriages. The Counterfeit Climax is such a valuable resource filled with raw and unfiltered truth that has been wrapped in genuine love and grace. We encourage you to read these words with an open heart, mind, and spirit so they will bring healing, joy, and strength to your most prized relationship.

Clayton & Ashlee Hurst, Marriage Pastors, Lakewood Church

We live in a culture built on counterfeit claims about sex and marriage, which has led many to experience a life of dissatisfaction and even despair. This book is not only a course correction for so many who are wandering in cultural fallacies but a beautiful invitation into a story of Gods loving design for sex and marriage. I fully believe that as you read this book, you will be drawn deeper into a life of true joy, satisfaction, and intimacy.

Nirup Alphonse, Lead Pastor, Lifegate Church Denver

The Counterfeit Climax is a book that powerfully addresses the deep issues and false misconceptions of sex that couples in marriage are facing today. In a world that is engulfed with a spiritual darkness attacking the mind and heart about sex, Dave and Ashley guide you into Gods truth about His perfect design for marital intimacy. They give practical insight into taking the gospel into your sex life. We truly believe that this book will serve to strengthen and cultivate a healthy marriage and mindset about sex. We love this book and highly recommend it to anyone seeking to transform their marital intimacy.

Scott & Vanessa Martindale, Founders,
Blended Kingdom Families Ministries

Dave and Ashley have written a transparent dose of truth for anyone wanting sexual intimacy. Its a must-read for your relationship.

Sean & Lanette Reed, Authors, Marriage in Transition,
Marriage Pastors, Opendoor Church

The Counterfeit Climax: Confronting the Issues that Sabotage Sex, Romance, and Relationships

Copyright 2022 by XO Publishing

This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form or by any means without written permission from the publisher, except brief passages for purposes of reviews. For information, address XO Marriage.

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or visit our website at xomarriage.com

XO Publishing

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978,1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from the ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version), copyright 2011 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

All examples in this book involving ministry situations are real. However, the details and surrounding circumstances may have been altered or combined to preserve the privacy and confidentiality of the individuals involved.

All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or any otherwithout prior permission from the publisher.

ISBN: 978-1-950113-73-6 (Paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-950113-68-2 (Hardback)

ISBN: 978-1-950113-69-9 (eBook)

ISBN: 978-1-950113-70-5 (Audiobook)

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Printed in the United States of America

FOREWORD

M y wife and I got married in a chapel in Texas. I remember when the door flung open in the back, and I saw her in her dress for the first time. I could hardly catch my breath as the beautiful scene quickly blurred with my tears. As she joined me at the altar, we made some rather crazy promises to each other: ...for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. After our kiss, we walked down the aisle, fists pumping the air, with big goofy grins on our faces. In the foyer of the chapel, as soon as we were alone, I held her in my arms and prayed this prayer: Dear God, thank You for this day. Thank You for my wife, and thank You for allowing me to escape the consequences of my sins. When I said, consequences of my sins, I was thinking specifically of my sexual sins. I was referring to the many sexual partners Id had, the boundaries my wife and I had crossed, my personal purity, and my addiction to pornography. That feels like a long list. But it seemed to me, in that moment, that I got away with it. I had not.

Two years into marriage, I realized the naivety of my prayer. I hadnt escaped the consequences; they just came in a very different form than anticipated. I had no idea how to love one person. I had no idea how to be selfless. The desire for porn was still thereturns out marriage doesnt take that away. My wife struggled with shame from our dating life and didnt feel the freedom in marriage Id hoped she would. I thought marriage would be one long bedroom session every nightand again in the morning on most days. It was not. I was dealing with anger from some missed expectations.