The Enneagram for Teens
Discover Your Personality Type
and Celebrate Your True Self
by
Elizabeth Wagele
PLI Media
Copyright 2014 by Elizabeth Wagele
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by PLI Media
PLIMedia.com
The Enneagram for Teens
Discover Your Personality Type and Celebrate Your True Self
ISBN: 978-0-9831995-1-9
Cover design and illustrations by Elizabeth Wagele
Interior design by Red Letter Day Graphic Design
First Edition
Table of Contents
Preface
The Enneagram for Teens introduces you to the nine types of people described by the Enneagram system of personality. Heres an opportunity to discover your own personality type and learn more about your family, your friends, your teachers, and yourself. Adults in many parts of the world already use the Enneagram for help with personal growth, relationships, work, and more.
In adolescence, its common to bounce between opposites:
The young always have the same problemhow to rebel and conform at the same time. Quentin Crisp
I wish Id had the Enneagram for understanding myself and members of my family when I was a teen. I would sometimes feel angry with my mother for making me do chores, though I later appreciated her teaching me how contributing to the family is an act of love. I would sometimes feel angry with my father for his criticism of my schoolwork, though the skills he taught me helped me succeed in high school and college. I wish I had understood then what motivated me and my parents, and that it is normal to bounce from loving ones parents to being angry with them. I now know its normal to feel both loving and angry at the same time.
I hope you feel loved and safe in this time of your life between childhood and adulthood. Many adolescents have not been treated well, however, and live under difficult conditions. Depending on your situation, you may:
- feel a pull to stay closely connected to your parents and their way of life
- want to prove to the world and yourself you are self-sufficient
- simply want to avoid pain and feel good
At an age where you may be experiencing many contradictions, the Enneagram will help you find out who you are and teach you how to relate well with others.
Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. Chinese proverb
The Enneagram
The nine-point shape stands for the Enneagram system. Ennea is Greek for the number 9; gram means a drawing. Enneagram, pronounced Any a gram, means a drawing with nine points.
The Enneagram gives you tools to see how your strengths are different from those of your friends and your parents so you can live positively. Are you a gentle Peace Keeper in a family that values being tough and powerful? Are you a poet or musician whom your family doesnt understand, or so tough many dont approve of you? The Enneagram teaches acceptance of those different from us. It has been used to help Israeli and Palestinian youth get along. It has helped children and adults of different races focus on their real differences instead of the color of their skin. It will help you honor whats important to you and learn to express what you want and need.
What is your type?
Answering the questions below will help start the process of deciding what type you are. If you know your type right away, check just one yes. If you cant decide, check the two or three most likely yes options and narrow it down to one after you read all the chapters. Each number matches one of the personalities on the Enneagram circle.
1 The Perfectionist
Are you orderly and conscientious, and do you tend to follow rules?
Yes __ No__
Perfectionists want to live life the right way, improve themselves and others, and avoid anger.
2 The Helper
Do you like to have many friends and help others feel happy?
Yes__ No__
Helpers want to be appreciated and to express their positive feelings toward others.
3 The Achiever
Do you like to work hard and set ambitious goals for yourself?
Yes__ No__
Achievers want to be productive, to succeed, and to avoid failure.
4 The Romantic
Do you appreciate beauty and think about the meaning of life?
Yes__ No__
Romantics want to understand their feelings, to be understood, and to avoid being ordinary.
5 The Observer
Do you try to learn as much information as you can about the world?
Yes__ No__
Observers often like to be alone, to be self-sufficient, and to avoid looking foolish.
6 The Questioner
Do you try to stay safe and/or make sure you can handle whatever situation comes up?
Yes__ No__
Questioners want to receive approval and to feel taken care of. Some do this by being assertive or rebellious.
7 The Adventurer
Do you make sure you have options and plans for keeping yourself entertained so you wont run out of fun and interesting things to do?
Yes__ No__
Adventurers want to be happy, keep busy, and avoid pain and suffering.
8 The Asserter
Do you often end up in charge and make sure others dont try to control you?
Yes__ No__
Asserters want to be self-reliant and strong, to make an impact on the world, and to avoid being weak.
9 The Peace Seeker
Do you like to keep things calm and do you dislike conflict?
Yes__ No__
Peace Seekers want to connect with others and to avoid conflict.
What Each Type Wants
Youll learn more about your and others personalities in the nine type-chapters from:
quizzes based on comments by other adolescents
biographies written by adolescents and former adolescents
the seven goals for adolescents
You and others of your type will discover ways to strengthen each other. The other eight types will model refreshing new ways to behave. For example, Im a 5-Observer. When I first learned the Enneagram, my 2-Helper friend had certain social skills I was weak in. Now, many years later weve moved apart, yet I still use her as a model for doing things well that dont come naturally to me.
Learning the Enneagram will sharpen your ability to observe. Mary tried not to be overly helpful to her boyfriend when she realized she was a Helper type and he was an Observer type. He doesnt like to be given advice unless he asks for it.
Though you are mainly one type, youll see how the nine Enneagram personalities also exist within you. Teachers, parents, employers, employees, neighbors, couples, children, and adolescents all benefit from learning the Enneagram.
Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present. Albert Camus
Seven Goals for Adolescents
Psychologist Eric Erikson said, The goal of adolescence is the establishment of a clear and stable sense of self. In each chapter you will be reminded about these seven goals to help you develop habits for living as gratifying a life as possiblenow and in the future. The goals are: