Stefanus Mutileni
SOAR WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
A comprehensive guide to develop your intrapersonal and interpersonal skills
First published by BSP Scrolls 2020
Copyright 2020 by Stefanus Mutileni
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.
Stefanus Mutileni asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
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First edition
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This book is still specially dedicated to my beautiful mother Maria De-Fatima, who now seem to love her granddaughters; Ndapewa, Ndamona and Twapewa more than she loves me. I have to admit, I am jealous. Mum, I thought you said that I am your favorite?
And mums annoying kids ( I cant mention that they threatened me into writing this dedication), especially my small sister Eva-Luise who according to photographic evidence, is shockingly not adopted.
Contents
Preface
One of the questions that I usually get asked is how I came to be soaked into the Emotional Intelligence conversation when my profession is in Engineering. Well, here goes the answer:
on the 3 rd March 2014, I walked into Daimler AGs International Quality Control Head Department in Boblingen, Germany. I was buzzing with excitement as it was my first day of my internship in one of the worlds leading and oldest automotive companies. I was introduced to my supervisor, Simon Strohmaier who handed me a paper with a list of 100 items. He told me to tick off at least 80 items that I wanted to learn during my internship.
As a Mechanical Engineering student, I was shocked that more than 50 items on the list had almost nothing to do with Mechanical Engineering or the automotive industry. On contrary, the list contained items related to Emotional Intelligence, soft skills and related topics such as interpersonal and intrapersonal relations which are psychology subjects. A little conflicted and hoping Mr. Strohmaier would say that he handed me the wrong list, I started ticking away.
After about a minute or two, I awkwardly handed back the list after ticking off all 100 items on it. He took me around the department and introduced me as the new engineering intern from Namibia. For the first month of the internship, 90% of the training done was not related to engineering at all. However, I had started to understand the approach that the internship was taking training was focused on the small but highly critical and essential areas that the traditional engineering class would not offer. These areas included subjects and studies that are critical in the modern day with regards to workplace performance and social interactions. That was my first conscious encounter with Emotional Intelligence and its related skills.
Upon my return to Namibia, I joined the management team of MPACT Corrugated, one of Southern Africas leading companies in the manufacturing of corrugated paper and plastic products. I was introduced to the world of management in an engineering and manufacturing company, where I discovered the relevance of being equipped with Emotional Intelligence skills in whatever workplace or social setting that you find yourself in. For four years, I served in management teams in Ohlthaver & List Group which is Namibias largest private company, and Neo Paints which is one of the leading paint manufacturing companies in Namibia.
The years spent in management strengthened my practical approach and knowledge in the management of employees using key Emotional Intelligence skills as opposed to traditional approaches. My involvement in decision making allowed me to test the theories that I had built up and got introduced to or received training on over the years, including mentoring interns and young employees within my departments. I have the utmost confidence in the importance of Emotional Intelligence as an effective tool in forging our social and professional lives, and I strive to pass on the knowledge in my quest and attempt to shape the world that you and I live in.
Writing SOAR had its own challenges in many ways. The major one is that Emotional Intelligence is of course one of the leading conversations of the 21 st century, but the delivery of it and the awareness is not as common, and so the content of SOAR had to be structured in a way that even the most unaware reader will latch on the context and be enlightened without being overwhelmed.
Written during the lock-down period due to the Covid-19 pandemic, SOAR is a conversation between the reader and I, and it is woven in a fabric of humor and lessons that I truly believe in.
It is my sincere hope that the lessons engraved in this book will shape your life and add value to it, and it will be my pleasure to have more related conversations because this is a topic that is close to my heart, and only when I pass on my lessons will I be able to look back and marvel to the gift of sharing knowledge.
I wish you all the best and I hope that as you turn the pages, your emotional intelligence levels will be enhanced and with great valour, you will SOAR.
Acknowledgement
I would like to thank my three nieces who took up all the available attention with their joyful presence at home, and thus created a once in a lifetime chance for me to write my books undisturbed by some people whose names I refuse to mention for the sake of my own safety.
I would also like to thank Jermaine Cole for his music that kept me going over the years! And to everyone who sincerely supported me in writing this book, thank you, I am so tired and sleepy as I write this so please, just write your name here_________________.
Introduction
Hello there, Buddy Nice to meet you! For those who are meeting me for the first time, my name is Stef with the messy hair, please hop into my time machine so we take a trip way back to the past.
Lets stop here, this is the famous iron age era. Allow me to introduce you to my friend Enoch from a village somewhere in Sub-Saharan Africa. This bloke has built a reputable career as a blacksmith forging swords and huge iron gates for the elite. Enoch is respected due to his skills and knowledge with iron and steel, no one really cares about anything else rather than that because business as it is known then is an exchange of gold or silver coins with whatever valuable item you want to acquire. You could give a goat and receive a barrel of wine if you so wished to, a fair deal if you asked me.
Enoch is a very good blacksmith, no doubt, but not a very good colleague and thus, he works alone. He recently had to pay an arm and a leg because he physically abused his brother in-law who confronted him on how he treats Mrs. Enoch. Enoch has a gazillion problems and he does not quite know how to deal with them, the few decisions he took only landed him in worse situations. His personal life is a mess and he cant comprehend what is going on, I think you get it by now. I dont have to hang the mans dirty laundry out like this.
