Elayne J. Kahn - Love Codes: How to Read Mens Secret Signals of Romance

Our deepest appreciation and gratitude to Michaela Hamilton, our dedicated editor, whose unswerving support and enthusiasm were instrumental in the shaping and the success of this project.

To Susan Donovan, many thanks for her assistance and encouragement from the beginning. And to everyone at NAL for their belief and contribution to the fulfillment of this undertaking.

To Karen Feiden, whose research and organizational skills we value considerably. And to each other for sticking it out through the struggle to learn the skills of partnership and the rewards of commitment.

The success of this book in the validity of its conclusions is the result of hundreds of interviews collating the data of peoples experiences. Were deeply grateful, therefore, to the many men and women who so generously shared their feelings of pain, joy, confusion, and understanding in their search for satisfying relationships: Helen Uffner, Elyss Emmer, Charlie Bielory, Toby Rabiner, Yolanda DiOrtega and the staff of Gelbwaks & Pollack, Sharna Striar, Roger Richman, Lisa Mager, Phyllis Palmer, Maggie Skipper, Bruce Berger, Pat Merceante, Sylvia Rabiner, Jules Sack, Sam Cohen, Sandi Cole, Arlene Fallis, Roxanne Olivo, Jeffrey Cohen, Harry Kobritz, Richard Ekstract, Bob Weinstein, Duane Phay, Philip Fertick, Roland Elliott, Gary Null, and Laura Slutsky.

Of course, no acknowledgment would be complete without saluting those couples whose love and respect for each other have inspired us so deeply.

To Barry and Genevieve Schapiro, who combine warmth and caring admirably with style and class; to Jerry Flum and Barbara Schwartz, for their sense of beauty, humor, and intelligence; to Erica Ress and She Knows Who, for her loyalty, support, and shared creativity; to Frank Lunzer and Luscious Lynn, who, among other things, demonstrate that food can be the basis of love; to Janet Fishman and Steve Klausner, whose literary and emotional partnership proves that two writers are better than one; to John Howe and Trudy Christ, for their energy and slightly overwhelming personal charisma; to Paul Noble and Paulette Cooper, whove shown us all the value of not rushing into things; to Sam and Mollie Rudnitsky, whose relationship continues to amaze everybody; to Phil and Donna Reinstein, for years of wonderful friendship; to Victoria Lee and Jonathan Rice, whove wisely invested in a Mutual Bond to Bernard Vidal and Yolande Flesch, beautiful, in color or black and white; to Mark and Kathy Fable, whose last name says it all; to Mr. and Mrs. Ben Lautman, for keeping the faith; to Bill and Grace Larsen, for their openness and generosity; to John Christopher and Victoria, who may own most of New York State by the time this book comes out; to John and Barbara Jordan, whose wealth of feelings enriches us all; to Michael and Sami Kahn, who seem very wise for a very young couple; to Ian Summers and Wendy Crabb, for making the dream come alive, even out there in New Jersey; to Mr. and Mrs. Oliver Civetti for old times sake; to John and Debbie Sorrentino, who prove that you can marry your high school sweetheart.

To those men and women whove created a third entity, known as couple, and who have proven that hope, prayer, and a lot of caring and hard work can yield a love that vitalizes their lives.

To Steven and Fran Cooperman, who did all the above and made it through the rain (and the snow); to Judi and Jerry Pitkowsky, who strengthened an entire extended family through their demonstration of spiritual and emotional devotion; to Marsha and Mickey Kahn, who illuminate the art of coupling without the loss of individuality; to Iris and Celis Perez, whove proven that a solid partnership can conquer the world (at least the art world); to Daniel and Isabel Lopez, who demonstrate that nurturance and support lead to growth that one cannot achieve as well alone; to Hy and Trudy Kahn for showing that understanding and mutual respect really do make love last; to Abigail and Tony McGrath for choosing the riches of creativity and proving that four can live as cheaply as one; to Barbara and Bob Stein whose steadfast commitment has surmounted all obstacles; to Terry Richards and Nancy Arann who just seem to know how to love; and to Gitl and Philip Kahn and Ann and Max Zelen for reminding us that its never too late to create a loving relationship.

To the treasured memory of Helene Silverberg, whose grace and intelligence continues to live on. And especially to the memory of Moishe Levitt, whose love, strength, compassion, and humor, could fill a book by itself.

Finally, and especially, to all of the patients who have so painstakingly shared their deepest sorrows, joys, and their innermost selves, thereby furthering understanding for all of us. Thank you. You are the real authors of this book.