Elizabeth Reese - Falling in Love Again: Simple Steps to Renewing the Passion in your Relationship

Falling in Love Again

Simple Steps to Renewing the Passion in your Relationship

by Elizabeth Reese

Triple L Publishing 2013
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Table of contents

With divorces at an all-time high, it seems as if more and more couples are simply throwing in the proverbial towel, instead of rebuilding the love and passion that once existed in their relationships. Long term commitments, marriages and partnerships all go through rough times, but at the end of the day it is important to remember why you love someone, and how deeply you felt for them in the beginning of your relationship. You can get that fire back in both of your eyes, but it is going to take some work on both of your parts. Simply loving one another is not enough to keep a happy relationship at the forefront of your lives. Being in love with someone will make you feel as if you would move heaven and earth to be near them, while never letting anything or anyone else get in the way.

Although you may not be as young as you used to be, you are both still the same person you once were. Sure, you may have more responsibilities like kids, finances, pressuring careers and family obligations, but at the end of the day you both still bare the same names and characteristics as your younger counterparts. You deserve to be just as happy as you were then now, and you should not let anything stand in your way of obtaining that happiness.

In an effort to fall in love again, all you have to do is sit down with your love and discuss the past, and what you have learned from it. For instance, make a list of all the things you used to do when you were first in love, and how they made you feel so excited and connected. Did you go to the movies or the beach? Did you drive on Sundays or walk in the park at dusk? Without making baseless excuses, determine what is stopping you from doing those things now. Simply assigning excuses like We dont have time or We have kids now or Life is different now is more damaging than helpful, so try creating solutions instead! You DO have time; you simply have to make it a priority. Life is only different because you made it that way, and chose to ignore your relationship as a result. You do not have to maintain that difference, as you can fall in love again just as easily.

Remember when you first started dating, and you wanted to know everything about each other? Some couples, especially those who are in lengthy relationships, believe that they know everything they could possibly know about their significant other. The fact is, things change throughout the years, and both sides of the relationship evolve in their likes and dislikes. It is important to talk with your partner about the things they are interested in now, not when you first started dating. What are their interests? Do they like to work out, and would you want to also? Do they like a new style of music that they had not previously entertained?

There is a long running misconception with long-term relationships that causes more harm than good to the two people involved. For whatever reason, when one person takes an interest in something new, the other attacks him or her for changing or not being yourself instead of supporting their latest interest. This type of backlash can lead to arguments and misunderstandings, instead of sharing interests like you used to when you first started dating.

Remember then? When you would do things and go to events simply because the other person enjoyed it? What happened? When did you stop supporting your partners interests? Do you even know what they are interested in any more, or are you just certain that you do not share those interests?

Taking the time to create a dialogue with your partner will allow you to understand why they are interested in certain books, events, issues or even music. Ask about their current likes and dislikes, and support their opinions. You do not have to agree with everything they do or say. Instead, remember the younger couple who actually wanted to know what made their partner tick

Open your mind and your heart to the people you and your partner have become. The two of you have been through so much together, that it is more than worth noting the great alliance you have created. It is time to reflect on the past as a delight, or as a learning experience, and move on to begin the process of falling in love all over again.

History plays a large role in reminding each other of your past feelings of excitement. Remember how excited you would be to go on a date with one another, primping and smiling the entire time? What happened to your excitement? Dont you want your partner to view you as the beautiful, energetic person you were all those years ago? Certainly appearances change, but confidence in your love and relationship should not.

Sharing your days and nights, thoughts and emotions with the person you love should be effortless, and exciting. Knowing that you are going to get a release, and allow someone else to help you enjoy your successes is an amazing feeling. The problem is, for most long-term couples, that they often look to someone else for their excitement and celebration, instead of each other. Do you call your best friend first when you have good news, instead of your partner? Are you on the horn with a family member to relay your excitement before your partner? It is time to regain the excitement the two of you used to share, and enjoy being the first to know everything that makes each of your worlds go around again.

When couples begin dating, they often think What will happen if we do this together? Granted, the outcome is not always good, but at least it satisfied your curiosity. Only you and your beloved know why neither one of you will ever go white water rafting again, and that is an absolutely a wonderful thing to share! Dont you want to explore more? Arent you curious about what the world has to offer you two now?

With ever-evolving times come changes to everyones lifestyle. Since you have begun dating the love of your life chances are you have experimented with different wardrobes, different interior decorating ideas, and have possibly even purchased different cars or switched jobs. If that is the case, ask yourself what has changed in your relationship? Has it been suspended in time, because you are both too busy to explore the changes? When you are curious about other things, including vacation spots, clothing, and even restaurants, what is it that stops you from being curious about where your relationship can go from here?