Beth Griffenhagen - Haiku for the Single Girl
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- Book:Haiku for the Single Girl
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- Publisher:Canongate Books
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- Year:2012
- Rating:4 / 5
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Haiku for the Single Girl: summary, description and annotation
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I feel its approach,
Inevitable as death:
Internet dating.
Unsolicited relationship advice from relatives, disastrous dates, men who wear thumb rings, and the moments of deep satisfaction when a single girl realizes that (unlike her smug married friends) she can do whatever she wants with her time - its all here in this brilliantly incisive and witty collection of haikus. Every woman - whether single or not - will laugh until she cries, and then start laughing all over again.
Beth Griffenhagen: author's other books
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Inevitable as death:
Internet dating.
Bag covered in Wotsits dust.
Should this depress me?
Has a toddler, and a gut,
But Id take him back.
All available men are
Somehow damaged goods.
With everything except
Eligible men.
Because I have a secret:
My time is my own.
I go as the Swedish Chef.
Note to self: not cute.
Guy Im going steady with
Is my bartender.
Is the thought that Ill forget
How to date at all.
Its impressive how quickly
Standards are lowered.
The appeal of younger men,
Which makes me feel old.
Watch out boy, shell chew you up!
Eh, Ive been called worse.
So why is it referred to
As the walk of shame?
These days, but theyre still filled with
Possibility.
Dont make her your Facebook friend.
Be a man, and text!
Artistic communities.
(Throws off my gaydar.)
Forgive me for not being
Zooey Deschanel.
Really? This is standard now?
Shit, man... I give up.
A cool pair of shoes, attached:
A Japanese chick.
That offers more coverage.
The battle begins...
Is a great way to seduce
(narcissistic) men.
Tall, dark, and handsome with a
Peter Pan complex.
I give him the head to toe.
Oh! Fuck you, thumb ring.
Loneliness, yes, but also
Fits of ecstasy.
I could be a lesbian.
Alas, oral sex.
Babies stare at me, wide-eyed.
My ovaries hurt.
My biological clock
Has a snooze button.
Of course the biggest douche bag
Is hitting on me.
Even the homeless woman
Has a boyfriend. Sigh.
All my booty calls got bored.
Or worse, got girlfriends.
Therapeutic... Ill stick to
Drinking heavily.
Oh, sugar pie, honey bunch,
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