Jonathan W. Stokes - The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers
Here you can read online Jonathan W. Stokes - The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers full text of the book (entire story) in english for free. Download pdf and epub, get meaning, cover and reviews about this ebook. year: 2019, publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group, genre: Art. Description of the work, (preface) as well as reviews are available. Best literature library LitArk.com created for fans of good reading and offers a wide selection of genres:
Romance novel
Science fiction
Adventure
Detective
Science
History
Home and family
Prose
Art
Politics
Computer
Non-fiction
Religion
Business
Children
Humor
Choose a favorite category and find really read worthwhile books. Enjoy immersion in the world of imagination, feel the emotions of the characters or learn something new for yourself, make an fascinating discovery.
- Book:The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers
- Author:
- Publisher:Penguin Young Readers Group
- Genre:
- Year:2019
- Rating:5 / 5
- Favourites:Add to favourites
- Your mark:
The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers: summary, description and annotation
We offer to read an annotation, description, summary or preface (depends on what the author of the book "The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers" wrote himself). If you haven't found the necessary information about the book — write in the comments, we will try to find it.
The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers is a snappy, informative, illustrated travel guide with everything the sensible time traveler needs to know, like:
* Where I can find the best hovel?
* What are my healthcare options if I catch the Black Plague?
* How can I avoid being attacked by pillaging Huns?
* And most importantly, why on earth would anyone want to travel back to medieval times?
This book is designed as a parody of Fodors guides, complete with humorous maps, reviews of places to stay and top attractions (dont miss a jousting tournament . . . but watch out for lances!), and tips on whom to have lunch with (murderous Queen Olga of Kiev, naturallyjust dont eat or drink anything around her!). If you had a time travel machine and could take a vacation anywhere in history, this is the only guidebook series you would need.
Jonathan W. Stokes: author's other books
Who wrote The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers? Find out the surname, the name of the author of the book and a list of all author's works by series.
The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers — read online for free the complete book (whole text) full work
Below is the text of the book, divided by pages. System saving the place of the last page read, allows you to conveniently read the book "The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers" online for free, without having to search again every time where you left off. Put a bookmark, and you can go to the page where you finished reading at any time.
Font size:
Interval:
Bookmark:
PUFFIN
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, New York
First published in the United States of America by Puffin Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2019
Text copyright 2019 by Tracy Street Productions, Inc.
Illustrations copyright 2019 by Xavier Bonet Plaza
Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
Visit us online at penguinrandomhouse.com
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA IS AVAILABLE.
Ebook ISBN 9781101998182
Book design, maps, and graphs by Mariam Quraishi
Version_1
For my father
The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook forTime Travelers was published holographically by Time Corp in the year 2164. It offers a complete vacation package for tourists visiting the Middle Ages. A careless time traveler accidentally lost a copy of this handy guidebook in our own era, along with guides to ancient Rome, ancient Greece, and the American Revolution. A New York publishing house decided to republish these books, beating Time Corp to market by more than a century.
The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times provides useful information for the practical time traveler:
How can I avoid being attacked by rampaging Mongols?
How can I avoid being attacked by pillaging Huns?
What are my health-care options if I catch the bubonic plague?
And most importantly, why on earth would anyone want to travel to the Middle Ages?
This guide answers your hunger for knowledge with an all-you-can-eat buffet of information. There is helpful advice on how to avoid being bled to death by a medieval doctor, how to survive a witch trial, and how to keep a Viking raid from ruining your lunch plans. So stop brushing your teeth and throw away your shampoo bottle. What follows is the original Thrifty Guide toMedieval Times, as it was discovered on a sidewalk outside Franks Pizza in Manhattan in 2019....
THE THRIFTY GUIDE TO MEDIEVAL TIMES
TIME CORP! THE FUTURE IS NOW! BUT ALSO TOMORROW. AND YESTERDAY.
Copyright 2164 by Time Corp
Time Corp will not refund any time travelers money before theyve bought this book. We maintain a strict no-prefund policy. Anyone unsure whether to buy this book is welcome to interview themselves in the future to find out if they enjoyed it.
TIME CORP! SERVING YESTERDAY, FOR A BETTER TOMORROW, TODAY.INTRODUCTION BY TIME CORP CEO AND CORPORATE OVERLORD,
FINN GREENQUILL
Congratulations on purchasing The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times:A Handbook for Time Travelers, the best book ever published, except for all the other Thrifty Guides.
A lot of people ask me, Finn, what are Medieval Times, and how can I spend lots of money on them? In a nutshell, Medieval Timesalso known as the Middle Agesare a long period in European history when it was extremely difficult to find a decent plumber. After the fall of the Western Roman Empire in AD 476, Europe was ravaged by attacking Goths, Vandals, Huns, and furious time travelers who had just found out their tickets to the Middle Ages were nonrefundable. For the next thousand years, Europe and civilization were two words you might not rush to use in the same sentence. Hardly anyone in Europe could read or write, and even bathing fell out of fashion. Historians used to refer to this dangerous time as the Dark Ages, which sounds very rock-and-roll. But I, Finn Greenquill, am in the business of selling vacation packages. Sotaking a page from modern historians and our publicity departmentwe now refer to these turbulent times as the Middle Ages, and the more dangerous parts as thrilling. Some time travelers may be interested in visiting the Americas, Africa, or Asia during this time period. Those vacations will be coming up in future Time Corp travel packages, but theyll cost more because they are generally more pleasant. If there is anything else you would like to spend your money on, may I suggest buying a copy of The Thrifty Guideto Spending Lots of Money, which retails for $999,999? Enjoy your trip!
Your trustworthy friend,
Finn Greenquill
Finn Greenquill
CEO and Corporate Overlord, Time Corp
FINN GREENQUILLS HIGH-RISE LUXURY APARTMENT
Roof: Bungee-jumping cords; helicopter parking
Tenth floor: Waterslide down to ninth floor
Ninth floor: Dolphin aquarium
Eighth floor: LEGO room
Seventh floor: Swimming pool of gold coins
Sixth floor: 3-D movie theater
Fifth floor: Zero-gravity bedroom, for comfortable sleep
Fourth floor: Chocolate living room
Third floor: Dire wolf pen
Second floor: Precious jewels collection
First floor: Parking garage for limousine and also for cheetah-drawn golden chariot
By reading this time travel guide, you agree to and accept the following:
Finn Greenquill may, with no advance notice, show up at your house for dinner.
If you discover a lost historical artifact, you will return it to Finn Greenquill rather than the person it actually belongs to.
Twice a day you will stick your head out a window and shout Finn Greenquills name as loud as you can.
If you go back in time and accidentally obliterate your great-grandparents, erasing yourself from existence, Finn Greenquill gets to keep all your stuff.
If you are kidnapped by Vikings, Finn Greenquill reserves the right to resell your copy of this book.
Finn Greenquill is not to be held responsible for anything, ever.
If you can find a way to prevent disco from happening, Finn Greenquill will automatically make you vice president of Time Corp.
Who was Genghis Khan ? What made him tick? Was he more of a dog person or a cat person? Why did he slaughter 11 percent of the worlds population?
Font size:
Interval:
Bookmark:
Similar books «The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers»
Look at similar books to The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers. We have selected literature similar in name and meaning in the hope of providing readers with more options to find new, interesting, not yet read works.
Discussion, reviews of the book The Thrifty Guide to Medieval Times: A Handbook for Time Travelers and just readers' own opinions. Leave your comments, write what you think about the work, its meaning or the main characters. Specify what exactly you liked and what you didn't like, and why you think so.