Wallace O. Chariton - Texas Highway Humor

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title	:	Texas Highway Humor
author	:	Chariton, Wallace O.
publisher	:	Republic of Texas Press
isbn10 | asin	:	1556221762
print isbn13	:	9781556221767
ebook isbn13	:	9780585232331
language	:	English
subject	Texas--Description and travel--Humor, American wit and humor--Texas.
publication date	:	1992
lcc	:	F386.6.C47 1991eb
ddc	:	976.4/00207
subject	:	Texas--Description and travel--Humor, American wit and humor--Texas.

Page i Texas Highway Humor Wallace O. Chariton

Page ii Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Chariton, Wallace O. Texas highway humor / Wallace O. Chariton. p. cm. ISBN 1-55622-176-2 1. TexasDescription and travelHumor 2. American wit and humorTexas. I. Title. F386.6.C47 1991 976.4'00207dc20 90-26498 CIP Copyright 1992, Wordware Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved 1506 Capital Avenue Plano, Texas 75074 No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without permission in writing from Wordware Publishing, Inc. Printed in the United States of America ISBN 1-55622-176-2 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 9109 All inquiries for volume purchases of this book should be addressed to Wordware Publishing, Inc., at the above address. telephone inquiries may be made by calling: (214) 423-0090

Page iii CONTENTS Preface iv Photo Credits vi Part One - Revolution 1 Part Two - Evolution 21 Part Three - Signs of the Times 89 Dedication This one is for Dave Williams. He knows why. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS A big Texas thanks to: Diane Bruce; Judge Bob Hefner; R. V. Miller, Jr.; Glenn Raines, Jr.; Roy Lee Smith; the late Bernice Strong; Don Weigand; a certain highway patrolman from the Texas Department of Public Safety who preferred to remain nameless; Doug Miller of Perfection Paint & Body, Inc. in Lewisville, Texas, for allowing me to use photographs of his display for the front and back covers; and finally to all the advertising folks and other creative people who are responsible for humor along the Texas highways.

Page iv PREFACE I first started traveling the highways of Texas in the back seat of my parents' old Mercury in the early 1950s. Four decades later, I'm still traveling in a Mercury only now I have to do most of the driving. As a kid, the trips were often long and boring. It seemed to take an eternity to go from Fort Worth to San Antonio. It did take an eternity to go from San Antonio to Muleshoe. Without any brothers or sisters to fight with, there wasn't much to do but sleep and ask when we'd get there. I can still remember my mother trying to defuse my boredom by encouraging me to watch for the Burma Shave signs. It always worked, at least for a little while. In the late 1920s, the Burma Shave company was trying to get men to change to shaving lather from a jar rather than using the old brush-and-mug method that had been around for generations. To encourage men to make the switch, the company conceived a plan that would make advertising history. They painted lines from clever verses on wooden signs and then put them up along the side of roads all over the nation, including Texas. The signs were an instant hit. Laughing at the simple verses seemed to break the monotony of long drives. Unexpectedly perhaps, the signs also provided the added bonus of giving parents a tool to keep children occupied. Some families, mine included, would use the Burma Shave signs as an inspiration to create our own verses. It was great fun and making up verses always seemed to make time pass quicker. The Burma Shave sign program ended in the early sixties and today, the few remaining signs are prized collectors' items. Although the signs are gone, they are not forgotten. Here's some samples of the famous verses, all of which appeared in Texas: Little Bo-Peep Has Lost Her Jeep It Struck A Truck When She Went To Sleep Burma Shave

Page v Remember This If You'd Be Spared Trains Don't Whistle Because They're Scared Burma Shave Cover A Multitude Of Chins Pays Dividends In Lady Friends Burma Shave Shaving Brush Was Like Old Rover When He Died He Died All Over Burma Shave Bachelor's Quarters Dog On The Rug Whiskers To Blame No One To Hug Burma Shave Baby Your Skin Keep It Fitter Or "Baby" Will Get Another Sitter Burma Shave 'Twould Be More Fun To Go By Air If We Could Put These Signs Up There Burma Shave Approached A Crossing Without Looking Who Will Eat His Widow's Cooking Burma Shave Brother Speeders Let's Rehearse All Together "Good Morning, Nurse!" Burma Shave Cattle Crossing Means Go Slow That Old Bull Is Some Cow's Beau Burma Shave Don't Lose Your Head To Gain A Minute You Need Your Head Your Brains Are In It Burma Shave If You Must Sample Her "Pucker Paint" Better Drive Where Traffic Ain't Burma Shave

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