How To Survive The Office
The ultimate guide
Jeremy Young
I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians
Alexander the Great
Contents
Preface
After I turned 40, I started to feel uncomfortably numb at the office. I was not getting the satisfaction I used to get from work. Every task, every meeting, every new project started to look the same to me.
There are tons of books on the world of business. Subjects range from how to find a job, how to manage meetings, how to be a C.E.O., how to balance work and life And do not even get me started on the unending pieces of training on professional development. None seemed to provide practical solutions that applied to daily office life.
As Alexander the Great said, I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians, I started to feel almost sick after going through all these business books, coaching, and training.
I decided to write this book to share my honest thoughts about common subjects of office life. As someone who has worked for numerous, public, private, family-owned American, European, Middle Eastern, and Asian businesses across many different countries, in the last 20 years, I have seen the insides of more offices than I prefer to count.
Despite the variety of jobs and employers I have worked for, the similarities of office life all over the world are striking. The problems experienced by junior associates, executive staff, and C.E.O.s, though at different levels of complexity, are remarkably alike. Equally similar are the promoted solutions in M.B.A. degrees, associated business books, and soft skills development training programs. What do they have in common? They do not work. Why? Because they do not tackle the core issue.
The awakening for me came in 2016 as I was trying to get used to my new role in an unfamiliar country. I started feeling a lot of stress. In my search for someone to help, I came across a Shaman who taught me a simple lesson. He told me that I was killing myself, trying to make everything perfect when perfection is never truly possible. The cherry on the cake was that I kept blaming myself for existing problems in my new company, none of which had anything to do with me. His advice?
Get some paint and a large canvas and paint with your bare hands to relax and clear your mind.
Life will become less complicated when we accept the dynamics of office life as is. I learned this through trial and error. Through this book, I hope to save you from these trials and tribulations and guide you as my Shaman did for me. You will learn how to compartmentalize your life through the insights gained through this book and enjoy your limited time on this planet.
To start, wake up and look at your life in the office from a realistic lens. Here is where classical and contemporary business literature fails. I hope to convey to you that this book will most probably not inspire you in the beginning.
Instead, I aspire to show you the honest reality of office life, how to develop acceptance, how to find happiness in that acceptance, and how to build a life away from the frenzy of work - life is more than just your job. I hope the book will inspire you to do just that.
Introduction
The problem with today's business books is that they try to paint an idealistic picture where none exists in the real world. All these 'suggestions' are based on this false premise. Hence, most solutions to office problems are superficial at best and severely damaging at the worst. As Albert Einstein said, "We can't solve problems by using the same thinking we used when we created them."
Modern business literature available currently ignores the anthropologic fact that current employment contracts evolved from the slavery of human beings, replacing food and shelter for labor with employee benefits for work. However, the basic premise remains. He/she who pays your salary has the last word. Their ego and power are only restrained by ethics & personal values (if it exists) and employment law. Those could be nonexistent, insufficient, or well ignored, as seen in the Harvey Weinstein case, that took place in one of the most democratic countries in the world, where the law is supposedly above everyone. Imagine if this can happen in America, what would the plight of the rest of the world be. It took so long for the transgressions to come up to surface.
I have seen a significant number of professionals, office workers at different career levels, having severe anxieties bordering on dangerous psychological problems that persist not only professionally, but also in their personal lives.
I knew of an executive assistant who used to mix Bailey's with her Starbucks coffee after every lunch. I asked her why, and she answered, "This is the only way I can survive this guy," this guy referring to our boss at the time.
I worked with a senior executive with severe alcohol issues because of the constant nerve-wracking pressure from the company's shareholders. He used to receive calls at eleven-thirty at night, asking for supplier contractual details so extreme, that no human being can come up with at an instant.
I, too, have personally felt similar impacts in my life. Looking back, I ask myself, why did I allow myself to be so coerced? Did I end up inventing anything? Did I discover the cure for cancer? Did anyone around me do one of these? No, I just made my fair contribution to the business society in several continents and different cultures. I got paid my share (whether fair or not is up for debate, but it was a mutually agreed amount). As per senior leaders and shareholders, who were my bosses, they have received their fair share of returns. Well, at least I am convinced they did, much more than they had initially expected. To be honest, only they would be able to answer this accurately.
So why the stress? Why the drama? Yet there is still so much of this commotion in the workplace. Most, if not all, of it, can be avoided.
To be fair, there are things you can do yourself and things you cannot control. That is where the stoic approach falls in to play. Like the famous Stoic Marcus Aurelius, expect the worst, accept whatever comes. Remember that life is more substantial than what you experience every day at work. This book tries to show you the worst that can happen in the office so that it will be easier for you to accept your circumstances in full, whatever they may be.
A small disclaimer: in no way would I like to argue that offices are full of mean-spirited psychopaths. But I am sure any office worker can name a few co-workers who would be better off institutionalized.
Unfortunately, I have experienced firsthand that to be prepared in a mental state expecting this will be much better for you than believing the M.B.A. stuff peddled in modern business literature and forcing yourself to be the office Pollyanna.
Keeping your expectations from the office to a minimum almost guarantees your happiness and health. You might ask yourself, what is the cost of this approach. There are no free lunches in the corporate world. Taking this approach might have consequences, and you might be giving up on some career opportunities. If you do not play by the rules, you will probably not be offered or granted higher positions in your career. That is a choice you have to make. If you play by the rules, you will bear the cost, as you will read in the following chapters. If you chose to take a wiser approach, the one I recommend, you would achieve the upside of a more holistic approach to life. You will have the time to work on stuff that you are really passionate about, and not the tasks dictated to you by your employers corporate vision or mission statement.
In this respect, I am launching an initiative with www.HowToSurviveTheOffice.com to remind you of the facts of office life and for you to share your work and office stories anonymously. I will be contributing advice to your particular problems and hope to maintain a platform to show you that you are not the only one in this rat race. Suppose you can free yourself and understand the fundamental premise that the office is where you rent out your hours and get paid for it. In that case, it will be easier for you to find acceptance.