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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
INTRODUCTION
This revised version is still not a book where I get to know best this is a collection of lessons and learnings gathered together from clients, books, teachers, trainers and therapists, and of course from my own journey trying to stay 'positive' growing up in one of the most cynical (yet wonderfully caring) places on earth.
This is still not a fluffy or typically touchy-feely type of coaching book either; this is a caring, compassionate kick up the ass. If I could build up a successful life-coaching practice in Glasgow, then I reckon the simple truth of these lessons mean I could do it anywhere! This book is the product of that journey, filled with the lessons I've learned from having to deliver big results with few resources. My clients don't want or need fluff; they want real change in their lives and that's what I try my best to give them.
That's what you have here: the best bits, the distilled (well, I had to get a whisky reference in somewhere!) learning and techniques that really work. However, that in itself would be a little dull, so I put it all in context for you, with stories and tales from the front line of personal development. I think I've seen it all, from the rock star pulling up at my front door for his session in his tour bus to a client being handcuffed and arrested right in the middle of a session ... perhaps they'd left it a little too late for 'therapy'; certainly they made me realize I was used to 'tough' when I regarded coaching politicians in the Middle East as 'getting away from it all'!
I'm sure you won't mind if I've changed a few of the details to protect the ... well, to protect me. If I hadn't, there almost certainly wouldn't have been any more books following this one.
So how is it that I came to be doing what I'm doing, and how is it that I came to be doing it the way I do it? Well, to understand that you have to understand where my whole idea of what a 'coach' is came from.
WHAT IS A COACH?
To some people the word 'coach' means something like therapist, expert, mentor or supporter. To me it instinctively means the grumpy, hard taskmaster with the whistle who helped me achieve my own early goals. While caffeine usually ensures that I'm not too grumpy, and I'm certainly not 'hard', I am the no-nonsense guy who asks the simple questions that may prove hard to answer but once you do answer them, you can go beyond what's stopping you and start to really live to your full potential, your own personal best.
The title of this book was inspired by my athletics coach. You may have guessed he's also the guy who set my meaning of the word 'coach'. Although he's not coached me for nearly 20 years, his words 'Just get on with it' still ring loud in my head. Probably because they were shouted at me so regularly.
This was the man who, apart from my own parents, was one of the greatest influences on my early life. He was a caring and totally committed man, loving in a very 'Scottish' way. He and his athletes had enjoyed great success on the track. Olympic and European medals hung proudly in many living rooms because of his commitment and dedication to the band of young men and women who followed his every word ... well, most of the time.
Bob's success was built on a combination of applied knowledge and hard work. It was teamwork: he applied the knowledge and we supplied the hard work.
This was the time when drugs in sport were just becoming part of the public's consciousness, mainly due to Ben Johnson's humiliation in the 1988 Olympics. Ours was a completely clean training group well, as clean as you can be when you're up to yours knees in mud from running through fields while bleeding, sweating and throwing up, all at the same time ... some of my happiest memories were spent like this. I know it sounds bloody awful, but we were achieving something, we were making our dreams come true ... one gruelling training session at a time.
Our training was tough and my protests (which were frequent) were almost always met with 'Just get on with it.' And that's what I've been doing ever since, applying knowledge and hard work and just getting on with it. Now, with these lessons, you can, too.
I promise I'll keep the throwing up and bleeding to a minimum, but we are going to get down and dirty as we explore the lessons that can be the short cut to finding your success. This book is designed to give you exactly what it says: a caring, compassionate kick up the ass! Ready? Good! Then let's get on with it!
CHAPTER 1
THE LIVING, THE DEAD AND THE SMALL VOICE WITHIN
Like any ability or muscle, hearing your inner wisdom is strengthened by doing it.
ROBBIE GASS
OK, for the uninitiated this is what can best be described as a 'self-help' book ... But it's a self-help book in more ways than just where you'd find it in a bookstore. This is a book about you helping yourself live the life that you've always dreamed of.
Before I go any further, I'd like to make a bold (and probably commercially quite foolhardy) statement: My hope for you is that this is the last self-help book you'll ever need!
Now, before you go off on a train of thought about the size of my ego and the claim I've apparently just made that I've written the best, and therefore the last, self-help book you'll ever need I haven't. What I have actually said is quite the opposite.
My goal for this book is that you come to realize that the answers you seek are not found in the pages of any book. The answers are inside you, and once you find them there you will never have to seek answers from the outside ever again.
This is not a collection of 'how to' or 'the best way to' live your life pearls of wisdom. Think of each chapter more in terms of stepping stones or building blocks that have one purpose: To guide you to the realization that seeking answers from outside you just masks the omnipotent guide already within you. All you need to do is take the time and allow yourself to listen to what you already know and what your inner wisdom is already trying to tell you.
Let me ask you a question: Why did you pick up this book? I'll bet that at least at one level it was because you hoped it might have an answer for you ... Or even that it might have THE answer for you and your particular problems. Well, the good news is that it doesn't!
It doesn't have THE answer, but it might just help you to find YOUR answer, for yourself. And the cool thing about finding it for yourself is that you get to keep it. It's not my answer, it's yours, and that means it fits you perfectly.