Noel Janis-Norton - Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting

A PLUME BOOK

CALMER, EASIER, HAPPIER PARENTING

NOL JANIS-NORTON graduated from teacher-training college at New York University. Her career as a learning and behavior specialist spans more than forty years. She has been a classroom teacher, a special needs teacher and adviser, a tutor specializing in learning strategies, a school principal, and a parenting educator.

Nol is the founder and director of the Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting Centre in London, which provides courses and consultations for parents of toddlers through teens.

A regular speaker at professional conferences, Nol has also been featured on numerous television and radio programs. In addition to lecturing widely in the U.K. and the U.S., she also trains teachers and parenting practitioners in her unique and highly effective methods. She is the parenting expert for Macaroni Kid (a popular website for parents) and the spokesperson for National Family Week in the U.K.

Through her seminars, courses, and talks for parents, and through her books, CDs, and DVDs, she has helped transform the lives of tens of thousands of families.

Nol has two grown children, a foster daughter, and six grandchildren.

What parents say about the Calmer, Easier,
Happier Parenting approach:

You have made me see things differently, understand emotions differently, and respond differentlythank you.

I learned how to help my children be more cooperative and more confident. A year later we are all still calmer and happier. My only regret is that I didnt go on the course earlier when my children were younger. It would have saved us all the struggle and stress we went through.

Theres less arguing now. And tantrums are a thing of the pastours as well as the childrens!

Thank you! I never really believed that my children would just follow the routines without arguing or complaining. But its working!

Within weeks of putting into practice the new skills Nol taught us, our adopted daughter became a different child, sunny, cooperative, and much more flexible. And we became different parents, calmer and saner. It hasnt always been easy to stay positive, firm, and consistent, but Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting has supported us every step of the way.

Its a transformed house. My son will always be a challenge, but we now have the skills and strength to cope with that.

These parenting skills have totally changed our way of approaching things. My family hasnt shouted in five weeks.

My teenage daughter really knew how to push my buttons. There was shouting every day, and not just from her! Now Ive learned to stay calm and not to react in the old ways. I have a new toolbox of positive skillsand a new daughter!

These techniques really do work. The best reward of all is seeing my sons happiness and self-confidence return.

I assumed that it would take weeks, but the Never Ask Twice Method started working in one day!

I couldnt leave my children alone together. It always ended in tears. Im so glad I learned new ways of handling them. They still bicker sometimes but much, much less than before.

My son was very anxious after his father and I split up. He was all right during the day, but bedtimes were dreadful. I was amazed that the Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting strategies I learned helped him, not only to feel better about the separation, but he was able to relax and sleep better as well.

We used to do so much nagging and shouting. Now we have a bag of really useful tools that have helped us enormously with lots of everyday situations.

Calmer,
Easier,
Happier
Parenting

Five Strategies That End the
Daily Battles and Get Kids to
Listen the First Time

NOL JANIS-NORTON

PLUME
Published by the Penguin Group
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New York, New York 10014, USA

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First published in Great Britain by Hodder & Stoughton 2012

First published in the United States of America by Plume, a member of Penguin
Group (USA) Inc., 2013

Copyright Nol Janis-Norton, 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this product may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

REGISTERED TRADEMARKMARCA REGISTRADA

CIP data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-101-61244-6

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses, and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors or for changes that occur after publication. Further, publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

This book is dedicated to all parents who are searching for a
calmer, easier, happier life for their children and for themselves.

My deepest gratitude goes to:

Laura Runnels Fleming, my dear friend and trusted coach, who helped structure and organize my ideas in order to make this book as accessible as possible.

Jill Janis, my sister, friend, and colleague, for her wisdom and clear thinking, her valuable advice, her thoroughness and tireless attention to detail, her love of language, her artists soul, her compassion, and her sense of humor when I need it the most! Jills profound understanding of family relationships has helped me, over the past forty years, to hone the principles of this program. Without her, this book would not exist.

Clare Hulton, my agent, for believing in me and in this book.

Nicky Ross, my patient and persistent editor at Hodder & Stoughton; it is due to her foresight that this book is now a reality.

Gillian Edwards, to whom I owe a great debt for the extraordinary generosity, understanding, and kindness she has showered on me over the last twenty years, and especially for holding my hand on the emotional journey of the past year, helping guide this book to fruition. As well as being my p.a., Gillian has been my all-hours typist, my problem-solver, my exactly-the-right-word finder, cook, nursemaid, and voice of reasonabove and beyond the call of duty.

Naia Edwards for her commitment to helping me write this book and for her calm positivity throughout.

Isabel Irish, Michael Rose, and Diana Callaway for the endless hours of typing and retyping.

My colleagues, past and present, at the Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting Centre (in the U.K. and the U.S.), for their insight, sensitivity, and determination, and for sharing my vision of what family life can be: