Karina Melvin - Artful Eating: The Psychology of Lasting Weight Loss

First published 2017

by Black & White Publishing Ltd

Nautical House, 104 Commercial St, Edinburgh, EH6 6NF

This electronic edition published in 2017

ISBN: 978 1 78530 170 4 in ePub format

ISBN: 978 1 78530 135 3 in paperback format

Copyright Karina Melvin 2017

The right of Karina Melvin to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without permission in writing from the publisher.

This book is a work of non-fiction, based on the life, experiences and recollections of Karina Melvin. In some limited cases names have been changed solely to protect the privacy of others. The author has stated to the publishers that, except in minor respects not affecting the substantial accuracy of the work, the contents of the book are true. Where names or information has been changed to protect privacy, and where case studies presented are composites, the author has taken care to ensure that the information presented reflects real situations and typical scenarios which she has encountered in the course of her work.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

All photography Sean Cahill, except Images on p. 44, 130, 150, 177, 189, 193, 213 and 216 Mark Duggan; Leaf illustration and images on p. 186, 199, 201 and 207 Shutterstock.com

Wreath Illustration Lorna-Jane Hyland

eBook compilation by Black & White

For Claudia

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
Carl Bard

Having spent over ten years training and working as a psychologist and psychoanalytic psychotherapist, I am naturally fascinated by the mind. While everyone is unique, there is a thread of likeness between each person I have the privilege of working with. In fact, it is part of the human condition. Our actions and behaviours constantly contradict what we say we want . This, to my understanding, is evidence of our divided nature. It is never more clearly articulated than in our relationship to our bodies. We say we want to lose weight and get healthy, yet so many people struggle to take action and achieve their goal. Whats even more curious about this contradiction is the fact that the people who struggle are adamant that they want to achieve their desired weight. In fact, they spend a lot of time, money and mental energy trying to do something about it. I know this because I hear it all the time. If youre reading this, it probably sounds very familiar to you too. There is amazing information available now: television shows, blogs, books, scientifically backed diets, supplements, weight-loss clubs, fitness regimes. The list is endless, yet we are on average actually getting bigger. We are constantly told how to lose weight: eat less, eat healthily and move more. Then why isnt that working? Despite the abundance of wonderful healthy-eating advocates, obesity is on the rise.

I think its time to acknowledge that the diet is dead. Research from UCLA examined a wealth of studies on dieting and found that up to two-thirds of diets fail, with several studies indicating that dieting is actually a consistent predictor of future weight gain . One study found that people who participated in formal weight-loss programmes gained significantly more weight over a two-year period than those who had not. So the most likely outcome from going on a diet is ultimately putting on more weight than when you started! This leaves a very small proportion of dieters achieving lasting weight loss. If people actually acknowledged this fact, then I am absolutely sure they would never diet again.

Lasting weight loss is not about what you eat. Its about why and how you eat. As a psychologist and psychotherapist I have come across so many people who are disillusioned and frustrated, feeling guilty about their body and their relationship with food. As a result, people have become obsessed with healthy eating. There are amazing cookbooks and blogs out there communicating the benefits of healthy eating, and while this is a very welcome and positive change, these nutritionists, bloggers and cooks are missing the most vital ingredient in the weight-loss battle: the mind.

By focusing solely on the symptom, the excess weight, we have lost sight of the cause. Take a moment to think about your own relationship with food and your body. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you like the reflection staring back at you? If not, is there any of it that you like? Can you say I like my legs, my smile, my hair? Or are you consumed with negative thoughts about your body? Are the words that come to mind unkind? Do you respect your body? Do you ever take the time to acknowledge how great it is that you can walk, talk, think, dance, work and share your life with friends and family? Or are you too busy thinking about the weight you want to lose, or all the clothes you cant wear because of your size, or all the things you just dont feel comfortable doing until you lose the weight?

I want to introduce you to a client who gave me permission to share her weight struggle. Lizs story really highlights how our issues with weight go way beyond the simple calories in, calories out approach. Liz had tried all kinds of diets, supplements and programmes. A pharmacist in her late twenties, she was well informed about health, how the body works and what she should be doing. Liz came to see me at a point when she realised that, after spending years losing and gaining weight, her life was being controlled by food. She oscillated between being good and only eating diet ready-made meals, and being bad and not sticking religiously to this very strict calorie-controlled regime. Being bad resulted in bingeing, and the inevitable guilt that followed left her feeling low for days, until she returned to the controlled approach. Liz had completely lost touch with her body. This had a very damaging effect on her relationships, as she didnt want anyone to truly know the extent of her struggle. On the surface she came across to friends as being carefree and confident, and kept her unhappiness and food issues completely hidden. Prior to engaging in the Artful Eating philosophy, she described herself as anxious, stressed, down and very self-conscious. She told me that she had withdrawn from social situations, refusing to eat out because she couldnt stick to her diet. Liz was not enjoying food, her body or her life.

Initially I focused on showing Liz how to accept her body. Her preoccupation with the negative aspects of how she looked really affected her relationship with food. It was only by questioning her position and recognising this that she came to understand she needed to reshape her own personal story. Liz was then able to identify unhelpful eating patterns, like controlling what she ate, eating too fast, eating because she felt stressed and not engaging with what she was actually eating. She learned that her relationship with food was not just about the food, but about other issues as well: her self-esteem, her lack of confidence and her inability to be kind to herself. I provided Liz with the skills and tools to help reshape her story, her relationship with food and, most importantly, her relationship with herself. Artful Eating helped Liz escape from masking her issues and identify the underlying cause of her struggle. It allowed her to finally feel a freedom around food and how she felt about herself. She no longer feels anxious around food and she has learned that its important to declutter and do things that make her feel good now rather than wait to feel good when she reaches her ideal weight. Instead, she learned to be happy and more at ease in herself, both mentally and physically.