Jeff Atwood - Need to Know for New Parents: Little Things That Make a Big Difference

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS EUGENE, OREGON Cover and interior design by Studio Gearbox Cover photo DandelionFly / Shutterstock Published in partnership with Brentwood Studios. BrentwoodStudios.net Need to Know for New Parents Copyright 2020 by Jeff Atwood Published by Harvest House Publishers Eugene, Oregon 97408 www.harvesthousepublishers.com ISBN 978-0-7369-8113-2 (hardcover) ISBN 978-0-7369-8114-9 (ebook) All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of authors and publishers rights is strictly prohibited. Congratulations! Being a parent is an amazing thing. Congratulations! Being a parent is an amazing thing.

You get the honor/challenge/thrill/desperation (those feelings change minute by minute) of shaping the life of another amazingly, miraculously created human being. Parenting will take every bit of your strength (and more) every day but will reward you in ways you could never have imagined. My wife and I raised three daughters, and every word on the pages that follow is born out of our experiencesboth good and bad. I wish you all the best as you enter this amazing new chapter of life. Special thanks to Holly and Chris Kowalski, Adrienne and Jay Williams, Leslianna and Andy Garlington, and Melissa and Carter Watkins (great parents all) for their review and input on early versions of this book.

If you are giving this book as a gift to the parents of a newborn, you are aware that they need to know a lot more than what is contained in these pages.

Please take a minute to share advice you think the recipients of this book need to know about parenting. The same applies to you, the reader. Please take a moment to write down some ideas or experiences you want to remember so you can share them with other new parents. TELL YOUR SPOUSE I LOVE YOU A LOT DURING THE DAY. FILL THAT LOVE TANK TO THE BRIM TO COUNTERACT THE SNIPPINESS THAT CAN OCCUR DURING THE 1:00 A.M., 2:15 A.M., 3:28 A.M., 3:46 A.M., AND 5:11 A.M. NEVER GO HALFWAY WITH A HUG. NEVER GO HALFWAY WITH A HUG.

WHEN YOUR CHILD LEANS INTO YOU, BE 100% COMMITED TO THE HUG FOR 100% OF THE HUGS DURATION. BABY MATH IS SIMPLE. JUST TAKE THE REASONABLY EXPECTED AMOUNT OF TIME NEEDED TO COMPLETE A SIMPLE TASK AND MULTIPLY THAT BY INFINITY. THEN ADD 15 MINUTES. THERE ARE NEARLY AS MANY LASTS AS FIRSTS WITH BABIES. FIRSTS ARE LIKE FIREWORKS.

BIG, BRIGHT, AND NOISY. LASTS ARE QUIETER AND EASILY OVERLOOKED. THE FIRST STEP ULTIMATELY MEANS THE LAST CRAWL. THE FIRST BITE OF SOLID FOOD SIGNALS THE LAST BOTTLE OR THE END OF NURSING. WATCH FOR THE LASTS AND CELEBRATE THEM TOO. BUY. THEM. ALL. ALL.

THAT WAY YOULL ONLY RUN OUT THREE TIMES THIS WEEK. KIDS NEED LESS STUFF THAN YOU THINK. THEY MAY LIKE THE $100 GIZMO YOU BOUGHT THEM, BUT THERES A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE THEYLL BE EVEN MORE EXCITED ABOUT THE BOX IT CAME IN. WHEN YOUR KID MOANS, WHY DO I HAVE TO? SAYING BECAUSE IM THE MOM (OR DAD) IS THE VERBAL EQUIVALENT OF A FIRE EXTINGUISHER. BRING IT OUT ONLY IN AN EMERGENCY. IT MAY GET THE JOB DONE, BUT YOU ARE OFTEN LEFT WITH A HORRIBLE MESS.

EVERYTHING WITH KIDS IS A PHASE. IF ITS A GOOD PHASE, TREASURE IT. IF ITS A BAD PHASE, TAKE COMFORT KNOWING IT WILL SOON BE OVER. APPROXIMATELY 97.8% OF PARENTS LIE ABOUT THEIR KIDS SUPPOSED AWESOMENESS. HERES THE THING: YOUVE SEEN THEIR KIDS. THEYRE NOT REALLY THAT AWESOME.

DONT GET SUCKED INTO THE COMPARISON GAME. BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT CONFUSING A FILLED-UP CALENDAR WITH A FULFILLING LIFE. KIDS NEED SPACE TO JUST BE KIDS. THERES NO SHAME IN EATING CEREAL FOR DINNER EVERY NIGHT. YOUVE GOT LIMITED NATURAL RESOURCES (TIME AND ENERGY). YOU MUST PRIORITIZE AND CONSERVE THOSE RESOURCES FOR IMPORTANT PARENTING STUFF.

MAKING DINNER IS OPTIONAL. CLEANING VOMIT IS NOT. YES, CHILDREN ARE SELFISH. BUT HAVE COMPASSION THEY LIKELY LEARNED IT FROM YOU. BE CAREFUL ABOUT CHASING THINGS TOO HARD AND TOO EARLY. ITS HIGHLY UNLIKELY THAT ANYONE HAS TOLD THEIR PARENTS, I WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE IF YOU HAD LET ME PLAY ON THAT THREE-YEAR-OLD TRAVEL SOCCER TEAM.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. GOD GAVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A GOOD PARENT. YOU HAVE IT IN YOU. YOU JUST NEED TO TRUST THAT YOU DO. THE SMELL OF A FRESHLY BATHED NEWBORN IS INTOXICATING. SOAK IT UP AND REMEMBER IT FOREVER.

THERE IS MO PERFECT WAY TO CHANGE A DIAPER. ITS OKAY IF YOUR SPOUSE, PARENT, OR IN-LAW DOES IT A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU DO. ITS ONLY FAIR YOU TRY THE BABY FOOD YOURSELF BEFORE YOU FEED IT TO YOUR CHILD. IF PARENTS HAVE A SUPERPOWER, IT IS BURPING THE BABY. YOU CAN MIRACULOUSLY TRANSFORM A SITUATION JUST BY PATTING SOMEONES BACK. BREATHE. BREATHE.

COUNT TO 100. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET YOUR STRESS LEVEL DOWN. A BABYS SUPERPOWER IS THEIR ABILITY TO EXPONENTIALLY MULTIPLY YOUR STRESS. HOLDING YOUR NEWBORN FOR THE FIRST TIME IS LIKE DANCING TO A SLOW SONG AT THE MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCE. 1: YOURE EXCITED AND NAUSEOUS AT THE SAME TIME. 4: THIS IS REALLY NICE . 5: YOUR BABY OR YOUR DANCE PARTNER THROWS UP ON YOUR SHOES. 5: YOUR BABY OR YOUR DANCE PARTNER THROWS UP ON YOUR SHOES.

DONT EVER SAY WE WONT BE THOSE PARENTS . AT SOME POINT, WE ARE ALL THOSE PARENTS . CHILD DEVELOPMENT IS NOT A RACE. THERES NO BLUE RIBBON OR TROPHY FOR HAVING THE KID WHO DOES SOMETHING BEFORE THE OTHER KIDS. FAKE SLEEPING WHILE THE BABY CRIES AT 3:00 A.M. (BUT NOT A GOOD THING.) YOU WILL NOT BE THE FIRST OR LAST PARENT TO FALL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER. (BUT NOT A GOOD THING.) YOU WILL NOT BE THE FIRST OR LAST PARENT TO FALL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER.

OR AT THE KITCHEN TABLE. OR READING BEDTIME STORIES. NEWBORN SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS SIMPLY BOOT CAMP FOR THE TEENAGE YEARS.