Jonathan Robinson - Teachable Moments: Building Blocks of Christian Parenting

TEACHABLE moments

TEACHABLE
moments

BUILDING BLOCKS of
CHRISTIAN PARENTING

JONATHAN C. ROBINSON, PH.D.

TEACHABLE moments

BUILDING BLOCKS of CHRISTIAN PARENTING
2016 JONATHAN C. ROBINSON, PH.D..

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ISBN 978-1-63047-728-8 paperback
ISBN 978-1-63047-729-5 eBook
Library of Congress Control Number: 2015913207

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Dedicated to

My wife and life partner, Dr. Margaret Robinson, LCSW, without whose wisdom, forbearance, and counsel I would not have been able to share my passion for children and families with all of you. To my children and their families, who unwittingly gave me lots of opportunity to practice what I preach.

Table of Contents

Authors Note

Most of us go through twelve years of grade school. Many of us go on to college, even Graduate school. We get certifications for various jobs. We get licenses to drive vehicles, to drive a forklift, to practice medicine, law, or begin other careers. Most of us, however, are parents longer than we are anything else. And yet, very few of us have any useful, organized training to be really good at this life-long job called Parenting. Parenting is the toughest job for which most people never have any training.

As a clinical psychologist, practicing school-clinical child psychology for over thirty-five years, I have come to appreciate the value of conveying certain immutable truths about parenting. These truths, having been observed and honed in my work with over a thousand families through my clinical practice, and they apply to all families, of all backgrounds, with all sizes and permutations. These nine principles of healthy family functioning, parent-child relationship, and Godly foundation form the teachable moments of effective Christian parenting.

While families can be tossed about on the seas of specific stressors, developmental stages, sibling birth order, and family of origin experiences by both parents, the clinical wisdom of these nine principles can provide context for understanding, and ballast to right the ship and to weather all storms.

I begin this book by providing a lengthy case study. The Bower family is fictional, a patchwork of clinical cases I have treated over the years. The Bowers tell their stories, so that each family member becomes a voice, a perspective, in the healing process. No voice is predominant, more or less important, right or wrong. Each is vital, though, because they are different and unique. And they are family.

The stories become the fabric into which I weave the nine principles, thereby strengthening the cloth to resist tears and turmoil. In presenting these teachable moments, I link each principle to Scriptural truth. As we seek to find and follow Gods will in our lives and in parenting our children, we build confidence, character, and commitment as parents. We provide healthy role models for our children. We accept Gods direction and promise to train your children up in the ways of the Lord, that they will not depart from it when they grow old. (Proverbs 22:6).

Finally, as an addendum, I offer appendices and Learning-the-Concept exercises that I have developed over the years. These handouts are designed to provide structure and reference to implementing the nine principles on an ongoing basis in family dynamics.

I pray that God will bless you as you read this book. I pray that you find strength, hope, and foundation for your life-long journey called parenting. I hope I have reinforced all the good things you are already doing as parents and offered you valuable perspective for enhancing the lives and experience of Gods most precious gift and responsibility to usour children.

Prologue

Fine, Jason spit at Emily, as he stomped through his bedroom door. If you wont take me to the library to get that book, Ill just fail English Lit. He stopped and grabbed hold of the edge of the door, glaring at his sister. And it will be your fault, Jason yelled at Emily before slamming his door shut. The door rattled against the frame as the skull and crossbones poster rustled on it. The menacing caution across the face of the poster, get out and stay out, said it all.

Mom, wait a minute, Emily said into her cell phone, as she turned away from Jason to get more privacy. Jasons going ballistic again.

Well, Emily, my meeting at work ran late. Im just calling to tell you Ill be another half hour before I get home.

Emily felt the strain in her mothers phone call. Just hurry, Mama, she pleaded. Im trying to get Grace to bed, and Jasons being his usual royal pain in the you-know-where.

Now Emily, her mother consoled, Were all under a lot of stress. Lauren knew her eighteen year-old daughter well enough to realize that she didnt call her Mama unless she had reached her limit. Im coming as fast as I can. Wait, thats your father.

Lauren clicked her cell phone over to the other line. Jim, Im so glad you called. Emilys having a crisis with the kids and Im still a half hour away. Are you on your way home?

Hi, sweetheart, Jim began out of the blue. My day was fine. Thanks for asking, and how was yours? His sarcasm dripped from his wifes cell phone. Lauren had a habit of starting conversations in mid-stride, without the amenities Jim inherited from his Deep South upbringing.

Jim, cut it out. Our children need us. Where are you?

The edge in his wifes tone told Jim this was no time to make his point, again. Im pulling onto Sentinel Lane as we speak. Ah, theres our house up ahead, right where I left it.

Hold on, Lauren clicked over to Emilys line.

Sweetheart, your father is just about pulling in our driveway now. You tend to Grace. Daddy will help Jason. Hold on again, Lauren clicked back to Jim. Thank God youre close by. I told Emily to put Grace to bed and that you would help Jason get over his meltdown.

General maam, yes maam, zeig heil, Jim clicked his heels in character, as he turned into the family driveway.

Jim, stop. Im not feeling very playful right now. Hold on, Lauren clicked back to Emily.

Do you see your dad outside yet?

Yeah, Good timing. Grace just cut herself trying to shave her legs like mommy and sissy do. I gotta go.

Emily, wait. Is she all right?

Just a few streaks of blood.