Rae - Hope for Parents of Troubled Teens: A Practical Guide to Getting Them Back on Track

What Can You Do ?

A dolescence can be an exciting time of growth and newness for parents and children. Many families make it through with relatively few battle scars and with an established sense of healthy interdependence. However, some young people get caught up in rebellious behavior that escalates into something serious.

This book has been written to bring hope and healing to families, especially to parents who are teetering on the edge of despair with their teenage children. Ive been there. Ive felt the pain and the hopelessness.

My family has experienced the message of this book. Our own rebellious child finally made it, but not until six long, hard years had passed. In the end, really the beginning for our son, it was God who brought about the miracle of change in his life. It was God who gave him the determination and strength to make decisions about his future. It was God who gave him the daily power to carry those decisions through. Mom and Dad, meanwhile, examined, evaluated, and reevaluated everything. It was a time of growing and becoming, in spite of daily frightening circumstances, or maybe because of them.

When we were experiencing the worst with our teenage son, we wanted to know that somebody, anybody, understood what was happening to us. We heard a lot of comments like, Oh, were so sorry or Theres nothing you can do. You just have to wait until he comes to his senses or Kick him out. Let him see what it feels like to be on his own or Make stronger rules; ground him. Though well-meaning, none of this was helpful.

There are no words, initially, to lift the heavy weight in your heart or to miraculously turn your child around to see the light. What I often tell parents I work with is: Its likely to get worse before it gets better. Not exactly what they want to hear. But its the truth. And in the meantime, there are things we can, and should, do.

First, try to take the focus off thoughts like, How could he/she do this to me? and start thinking, How can I help this child find his/her way? This change in attitude goes a long way toward helping your own bleeding to stop.

Second, try to establish some kind of relationship with the warring teen. Its difficult, but do whatever you can to make this happen. They may ignore you or refuse your gestures, but try.

From there, please take the time to read this book and follow the suggestions for moving your family toward wholeness. There are no magic solutions. But I believe as you explore the Something to Do suggestions at the end of each chapter, there will be movement in the right direction. You are suffering. Your child is suffering in a different way. Do something.

The Bible tells us that faith without works is dead. The message of this book is that having hope, faith, and trust, means there are things we can do to make a difference in our relationship with our child, even if he does not respond to us as we would like him to.

But when the last authority figure has been talked with, when the final desperate measure has been taken, when the last shred of human wisdom has been tapped, hope may be all that is left. The Scriptures tell us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hope rests in our faith in God, and our willingness to trust that He will do what we cannot do.

In addition to offering counsel to parents already in crisis, I would hope that some parents will read this book before their childs behavior becomes troublesome so they might avoid the upheaval and chaos that happens when a child loses his way. If you are a parent just entering the world of teenagers, and you havent experienced any significant troubles yet, this book might help you circumvent problems that may lie ahead.

My earnest prayer is that you will find information, wisdom, and encouragement within these pages. I trust your family will be made whole.