THE
EVERYTHING
PARENT'S GUIDE TO
RAISING
BOYS
2ND EDITION
A complete handbook to develop
confidence, promote self-esteem,
and improve communication
Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT
Copyright 2011, 2006 Simon and Schuster All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced
in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions
are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.
An Everything Series Book.
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Published by Adams Media, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
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ISBN 10: 1-4405-0689-2
ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-0689-5
eISBN 10: 1-4405-0690-6
eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-0690-1
Printed in the United States of America.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Erwin, Cheryl.
The everything parent's guide to raising boys / Cheryl L. Erwin. 2nd ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN-13: 978-1-4405-0689-5 (alk. paper)
ISBN-10: 1-4405-0689-2 (alk. paper)
ISBN-13: 978-1-4405-0690-1 (ebk)
ISBN-10: 1-4405-0690-6 (ebk)
1. Boys. 2. Parenting. 3. Child rearing. I. Title. II. Title: Parent's guide to raising boys.
HQ775.E79 2010
649'.132 dc22
2010038804
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.
From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations
This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.
All the examples and dialogues used in this book are fictional, and have
been created by the author to illustrate disciplinary situations.
THE EVERYTHING PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING BOYS 2ND EDITION
Dear Reader,
A great deal has changed in the four years since this book was first published. My own son, now twenty-six years old, has graduated from both college and law school, passed the bar exam, and entered the workforce as a practicing attorney. He lives in another city; we stay connected using all the modern technological marvels at our disposal, but the truth is that I miss his presence, his stories, and his laughter every single day.
Unfortunately, the same gadgets that allow us to text, e-mail, and surf the web can also strain our relationships to the breaking point. Research repeatedly tells us that the most important part of parenting is building a strong, loving bond with a child; indeed, the need for heart-to-heart connections has never been greater. But exactly what should parents do to build that connection?
Raising a son is an adventure, and you cannot learn everything you need to know in the pages of a book. Still, this volume contains up-to-date information about boys and the world they live in, as well as suggestions for learning even more. Your son is lucky to have a parent who cares enough to learn about raising boys. Be sure you always take time to enjoy your journey together!
WELCOME TO THE EVERYTHING PARENT'S GUIDES
Everything Parent's Guides are a part of the bestselling Everything series and cover common parenting issues like childhood illnesses and tantrums, as well as medical conditions like asthma and juvenile diabetes. These familyfriendly books are designed to be a one-stop guide for parents. If you want authoritative information on specific topics not fully covered in other books, Everything Parent's Guides are your perfect solution.
Urgent warnings
Quick handy tips
Important snippets of information
Answers to common questions
When you're done reading, you can finally say you know EVERYTHING!
PUBLISHER Karen Cooper
DIRECTOR OF ACQUISITIONS AND INNOVATION Paula Munier
MANAGING EDITOR, EVERYTHING SERIES Lisa Laing
COPY CHIEF Casey Ebert
ASSISTANT PRODUCTION EDITOR Jacob Erickson
ACQUISITIONS EDITOR Brett Palana-Shanahan
ASSOCIATE DEVELOPMENT EDITOR Hillary Thompson
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Ross Weisman
EVERYTHING SERIES COVER DESIGNER Erin Alexander
LAYOUT DESIGNERS Colleen Cunningham, Michelle Roy Kelly, Elisabeth Lariviere, Ashley Vierra, Denise Wallace
Visit the entire Everything series at www.everything.com
This book is dedicated to the memory of my father, Donald W. Gresser, who demonstrated by his own life what it means to be a good man.
boy (boi) n.. A bundle of energy combined with boundless curiosity, a surprisingly soft heart, and a dash of independence. When blended well with love, laughter, patience, and thoughtful teaching, over time will become one fine young man.
Acknowledgments
The Everything Parent's Guide to Raising Boys, 2nd Edition is rooted in the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, pioneers of the idea that parenting is not only a science but a skill that can be learned. I am indebted to Jane Nelsen and my many Positive Discipline colleagues, who have devoted their lives to creating respectful, caring families, schools, and communities.
I also want to express my deep gratitude to Philip for being both my best teacher and a source of tremendous joy, and to David for constant love, support, and encouragement (and the world's best house to write in). I am blessed to have the friendship of brilliant, passionate, creative women; you know who you are, and you know how much I love you.
Introduction
Few things in life are as important as raising a child. Parents dream of the birth of a baby; they read stacks of books and magazine articles, attend classes, and talk eagerly with other parents. They mull over names and cherish hopes about whether their child will be a boy or a girl. Then the baby a real, flesh-and-blood boy arrives. Suddenly nothing is as clear and simple as it once seemed.
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