Endorsements
I strongly recommend this book. The authors present a clear and lively guide to parenting based on their many years experience working with challenging children, along with their extensive understanding of the latest research and thinking in the field of developmental psychology and therapeutic treatment. This book will be welcomed by all parents who struggle to connect with, support, and guide their children through the challenging moments and who hope to create a warm and understanding relationship with their children.
Phyllis Booth , MA, LMFT, LCPC, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor
While the tips and tools offered in Raising the Challenging Child are based on the latest brain research and evidence-based practices, the authors translate the theory with real-life examples. Parents will love the practical and proven If youve tried this... do/say this instead suggestions. The approaches offered in this book are ones that parents will return to again and again.
Amy McCready , founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and author of The Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A Step- by- Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over- Entitled World
Raising the Challenging Child provides parents, caregivers, child advocates, and even pediatricians like myself with practical strategies to help empower children and foster healthy family dynamics. Using Chaddocks proven tools and techniques, the book serves as a helpful resource for those who seek to build a brighter path for children.
Sameer Vohra , MD, JD, MA, FAAP, chair of the Department of Population Science and Policy, Southern Illinois University School of Medicine
The authors provide a lovely integration of what theyve learned from years of experience treating challenging children, the science of experience-based brain development, and practical hands-on advice for handling parental challenges in ways that combine nurturance and guidance. Raising the Challenging Child will be a welcome addition to the growing literature on the power of compassionate, brain-informed parenting to help caregivers avoid the pitfalls of blocked care and stay open and engaged more of the time, giving their kids the gift of their mindful selves.
Jonathan Baylin , PhD, coauthor of Brain- Based Parenting and The Neurobiology of Attachment- Focused Therapy
This fun, easy-to-read book is much more than your typical child-rearing manual. Reading this guide will give you a window into your childs emotional world, as well as specific strategies and language to turn child behaviors into opportunities for growth. Youll walk away from this book with a pocketful of gems to help your child think, problem-solve, and develop loving relationships for a happier family and a happier life!
Debra Wesselmann , MS, LIMHP, coauthor of Integrative Parenting: Strategies for Raising Children Affected by Attachment Trauma
In my many years of clinical practice, I was always hesitant to recommend a parenting guide. Raising the Challenging Child would have been a striking exception. Oh, how I wish it had been available to meand to the families with whom I worked.
Michael Trout , author of This Hallowed Ground: Four Decades in Infant Mental Health
Title Page
Copyright Page
2020 by Chaddock
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2020
Ebook corrections 01.12.2022
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2120-6
Theraplay is a registered service mark of The Theraplay Institute, Evanston, IL, USA.
Trust-Based Relational Intervention is a registered service mark of Texas Christian University, Fort Worth, TX, USA.
This publication is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed. Readers should consult their personal health professionals before adopting any of the suggestions in this book or drawing inferences from it. The author and publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects arising from the use or application of the information contained in this book.
The names and details of the people and situations described in this book have been changed or presented in composite form in order to ensure the privacy of those with whom the authors have worked.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Chaddock kids and their families for your courage, perseverance, and faith in a brighter tomorrow.
And to our amazing Chaddock staff for your unwavering commitment to those we serve.
Contents
Cover
Endorsements
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Part 1: Be a Leader
1. Invest in the Relationship Bank
2. Let Everyone Calm Down
3. Take Charge and Stay in Charge
4. Provide Clear, Consistent Limits
5. Balance Structure and Nurture
6. Respond, Dont React
7. Share Power to Gain Power
8. Be Playful and Surprising
9. Apologize If You Make a Mistake
10. Keep the Goal in Mind
Part 2: Dig Deeper
11. Respond to Whats beneath Behaviors
12. Its Okay to Revisit an Earlier Stage
14. Change Up Your Steps in the Dance
15. Dont Ask, Whats Wrong?
16. All Kids Do Goofy Things
17. Help a Child Feel Validated and Valued
18. Talking Back Is Better Than Hitting
19. Celebrate Who Your Child Really Is
20. Look for Whats behind Your Own Reactions
Part 3: Prepare for Success
21. Take Care of Yourself
22. Say It without No
23. Every Two Hours, Feed and Water the Kids
24. Stay Alert to What Your Child Really Needs
25. Do It Together
26. Give Healthy Touch
27. Be Present for the Teachable Moments
28. Rehearse for Tough Situations
29. Expect Some Conflict
30. The Gift Your Child Wants Is You
Resources
Back Ads
Cover Flaps
Back Cover
Acknowledgments
While the phrase it takes a village has become well-worn, the number of individuals who have contributed to making this book possible would certainly fill an entire town. We are deeply grateful to the many Chaddock board members and donors who, for years, have enabled and empowered continuous learning in the service of children and families.
That learning has come in many forms, from many people. We offer our respect and appreciation to the following individuals whose generosity and expertise helped broaden our understanding and refine our approach in our work with kids and families: Michael Trout, who taught us to always remain curious and in a state of wonder with children and families as their stories unfold; Phyllis Booth and Sandra Lindaman, who have shared the powerful impact of Theraplay throughout the world and with us; Karyn Purvis and David Cross, whose Trust-Based Relational Intervention provided so many practical tools; Daniel Hughes and Dafna Lender, who helped us see the windows of insight provided by Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy; Miriam and Howard Steele, whose work with the Adult Attachment Interview deepened our understanding and compassion for the parents with whom we work; George Downing, whose Video Intervention Therapy enabled us to help families slow down the dance; David and Faith Friedlander, whose loving spirits and commitment to this work urged us on; Kenny Miller, who reminded us that all behaviors make sense when viewed through a developmental lens; Roy Keissling, who added yet another critical dimension to our toolbox with Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing; and Gene Simon, who saw the potential in this work and our team when few did.