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Sally Downham Miller - Mourning and Dancing: A Memoir of Grief and Recovery

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Robert Downham died on Wednesday, August 23, 1967 of Reticulum Cell Sarcoma. Three weeks before he died, he did not know he was sick. Nine days after diagnosis, he was dead. This is his story, and the story of Sally, his young wife and mother of his two young children, and all the others whose lives touched his life - and who had to go on living. It is about life and death and grief and the lessons that the survivors learned. This inspiring work chronicles Sally Millers thirty-year journey of grief and recovery. A professional educator, Dr. Miller has constructed a book that leads readers through their grief as they read about hers. Along with her own moving story, Miller provides a framework that readers can use to identify and process their own grief. Mourning and Dancing is designed for people who are trying to cope with any loss, even if years have passed since the loss or losses occurred. Its format includes true-life stories of the authors family and individuals with whom she has walked through grief. The vignette-style of presentation allows the newly aggrieved to read the book in small doses, a key ingredient for healing. Written after thirty years of learning, this touching book will show readers how to incorporate loss into their lives, how to live with the pain, and how to have hope and heal as a result of that brave endeavor.

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title Mourning and Dancing A Memoir of Grief and Recovery author - photo 1

title:Mourning and Dancing : A Memoir of Grief and Recovery
author:Miller, Sally Downham.
publisher:Health Communications, Inc.
isbn10 | asin:
print isbn13:9781558746718
ebook isbn13:9780585106960
language:English
subjectGrief, Bereavement--Psychological aspects, Loss (Psychology) , Husbands--Death--Psychological aspects, Miller, Sally Downham, Downham, Robert Henry,--d. 1967.
publication date:1999
lcc:BF575.G7M55 1999eb
ddc:155.9/37/092
subject:Grief, Bereavement--Psychological aspects, Loss (Psychology) , Husbands--Death--Psychological aspects, Miller, Sally Downham, Downham, Robert Henry,--d. 1967.
Page i
Mourning and Dancing
A Memoir of Grief and Recovery
Sally Downham Miller, Ph.D.
Picture 2
Health Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
www.hci-online.com
Page ii
"To W.p.: 1" appears by permission of Associated University Presses and Bucknell University Press. All rights reserved. From George Santayana, The Complete Poems of George Santayana: A Critical Edition, edited by William G. Holzberger (Lewisburg, Penn.: Bucknell University Press, 1978).
Excerpts from The Fall of Freddie the Leaf are used by permission of Leo F. Buscaglia, Inc. 1982 Leo F. Buscaglia. All rights reserved. From Leo F. Buscaglia, The Fall of Freddie the Leaf (Thorofare, N.J.: SLACK, Inc., 1982).
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Miller, Sally Downham, date.
Mourning and dancing: a memoir of grief and recovery/
Sally Downham Miller.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-55874-671-4 (pbk.)
1. Grief. 2. BereavementPsychological aspects.
3. Loss (Psychology) 4. HusbandsDeathPsychological
aspects. 5. Miller, Sally Downham. 6. Downham, Robert
Henry, d. 1967. I. Title.
BF575.G7M55 1999
155.9'37'092dc21
[B]Picture 3Picture 4Picture 5Picture 6Picture 7Picture 899-10952
Picture 9Picture 10Picture 11Picture 12Picture 13Picture 14CIP
1999 Sally Downham Miller
ISBN 1-55874-671-4
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
Picture 15
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442-8190
Cover illustrations by Lisa Camp
Page iii
For Tamara and Tom
Page v
Picture 16
For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven...
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance...
Eccles. 3:1, 4
Page vii
CONTENTS
Preface
ix
Acknowledgments
xi
Part I: The Sickness
1
Part II: The Ceremonies
59
Part III: Going On
85
Part IV: Lessons Learned
161
Heart Mansions
209
Afterword
213

Page ix
PREFACE
Robert Henry Downham died on Wednesday, August 23, 1967, in Indianapolis, Indiana, of reticulum cell sarcoma. Three weeks before he died, he did not know he was sick. Nine days after diagnosis, he died.
This is the story of some of the people whose lives touched his life and who had to go on living. It's about life and death and grief and the lessons that we, the survivors, learned. The italicized sections at the beginning of episodes were written by others who knew him, some intimately, some by reputation. The rest of the book is my story, written over the thirty years since Bob died. It is about learning, by myself and with others, about how to incorporate loss into all of our lives, how to live with the pain, and how to have hope and healing as a result of that brave endeavor.
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