Jay Payleitner - 365 Ways to Say I Love You to Your Kids

Ways to Say
I LOVE YOU
to Your Kids

J AY P AYLEITNER

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON

For Mom and Dad,
who taught me how to love.

Scripture verses marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture verses marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

Cover by e210 Design, Eagan, Minnesota

Cover photo iStockphoto / omgimages

Illustrations by Rex Bohn, Bohn Illustration, Geneva, Illinois;
www.rexbohn.com

365 WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU TO YOUR KIDS
Copyright 2011 by Jay K. Payleitner
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-4473-1 (paperback)
ISBN 978-0-7369-4474-8 (eBook)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 / BP-SK / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

T he best way to say I love you to your kids is out loud. They need to hear it early and often. Babies need to hear it. Third-graders need to hear it. Teenagers especially need to hear it. Hey, even parents still like to hear it from their parents. Right?

But spoken words are just one way to express how much you love your kids.

Love is a verb. The act of demonstrating love to your children yields great dividends. It models. It teaches. It affirms. Mom and Dad, you are loving your children every time you console, inspire, equip, rescue, or challenge them. Love sacrifices, disciplines, and protects. Love delights. Love gets both silly and solemn. As the Bible says, Love never fails.

You may already own several books that provide scholarly theoretical doctrine on optimal parenting strategies. But you wont find any of that nonsense here. Nope. This book comes right out and tells you what to do. Three hundred sixty-five times. If you implement just a handful of these ideas, you are headed in the right direction and this book is worth every nickel you paid for it. (If it was a gift, youre way ahead of the game.)

So how can you use this book to start saying I love you to your kids? It couldnt be easier. Simply place the book on your desk, workbench, counter, toilet tank, or nightstand and open it at random whenever you get the chance. When an idea strikes your fancy, go for it.

You see, becoming a parent is biology. But being a parent is not a science at all. Its about unexpected discoveries, sweet serendipitous moments, heart-wrenching confrontations, breathless bouts of confusion, and quiet soul-satisfying triumphs.

Mostly parenting is about just being there and showing your kids you love them somehow every single day.

Carry one or two photos of each
of your kids in your wallet.

Carry hundreds of photos in your iPod.

Let them push the buttons in the elevator.

Get a heart-shaped cookie cutter and use
it for lunch meat, pancakes, French toast,
sandwiches, and sometimes even cookies!

Share inside jokes.

For no reason at all, offer to do the dishes
when its their turn at the sink.

Tell your kids something you struggled
with when you were their age.

Patiently explain Sunday morning funnies
when they dont get the joke.

Quit smoking.

Kneel in front of your three-year-old to tie their shoes.

Toss Wiffle balls to your four-year-old (aiming very
carefully to hit their huge fat red bat as they swing).

Refrain from yelling at referees
when they clearly blow a call.

Do noisy cheek kisses.

Watch their favorite television program with
them. (Without making fun of the bad acting,
predictable script, or ridiculous plot.)

Learn the international sign language
for I love you and use it across the room,
across the yard, or across the gym.

Keep a secret hidden stash of colored markers
and poster boards. When they remember that
homework assignment at nine oclock the night
before its due, you are the hero of the realm.

Make a big deal about an improvement in a
report card. (Dont say Its about time, or
spoil the celebration by pointing out other
grades that could also improve.)

Inspect the lawn after theyve finished mowing
and find more good things than bad things.

Let them name the family pet. (This
encourages creativity.)

Let them feed the family pet. (This
encourages responsibility.)

Give sincere compliments. (Even if their outfit
is nontraditional, their musicianship is dreadful,
or their grammar is horrible, find something to
compliment with honesty and sincerity.)

Share silly secrets.

When you think of them for some reason
during the day, send a text, tweet, or
e-mail with short, specific details.

Go for a walk. Hold hands. Skip.

When your kid gets behind the wheel of a car and
heads off on an excursion longer than three blocks,
speak this phrase: Love you. Drive careful.

When your kid gets into someone elses car, speak this
phrase to the driver: Drive careful. Precious cargo.

Heres a great line you might use with your kids every
day: What are we celebrating today? Chances of
getting a thoughtful response skyrocket compared
to How you doing? or How was school today?

Skip rocks on a pond or river. Celebrate six or
more kerplunks. Agonize dramatically over a
mere four or five kerplunks. Groan over two
or three kerplunks. Mock single kerplunks.

Teach them how to play chess or
checkers. But dont let them win.

Ask them to teach you how to play their favorite
video game. Try to win. (Dont worry, you wont!)

Watch an old Frank Capra movie together, like
Its a Wonderful Life, Meet John Doe, It Happened